Page 46 of The Quarterlands (Dark Water #4)

“I cannot say it sounds appealing,” Jabir said uncertainly when Alex had finished. “And yet… my country tore itself apart after the Rising, an d wars seem to end only to begin again. Who am I to say whether the peace you created with this system is a bad thing?”

“If the IS system ever played a useful part in preventing war, then that time is long gone,” Alex replied. “We’ve grown fat and complacent and far too reliant on it. It’s time we ended it.”

“Maybe this could be your task one day?” Jabir suggested.

Alex shrugged. He doubted he’d live long enough, and he wouldn’t know where to start.

Jabir took him for little walks around the olive grove every day after that, until he was strong enough to walk there himself. Each time, Jabir would linger by the door and say, “You know you only have to say the word, Mr Alexander.”

Alex just smiled and assured him that he never would.

Tyler returned, eventually, several weeks later, his eyes haunted and desperate, as if searching for another fix of a drug he couldn’t quite kick.

Alex recognised that look – he’d once felt a similar yearning for croc.

Everything proceeded in much the same way as last time, and ended the same, too.

Jabir took care of him once more, but he could see that the man was growing increasingly uncomfortable with the situation.

“I’ve spoken to Maura about the possibility of leaving Mr Tyler’s employment,” Jabir said on one of their now familiar walks around the olive grove.

Alex felt hollow at this news. Much as he’d tried not to view Jabir as a friend, he was only human, and he yearned for the kindness and compassion that Jabir provided. Still, he wouldn’t beg him to stay. He wouldn’t be responsible for anything that happened to him.

“You must do as you wish,” he said softly.

“The only reason I stay is out of concern for what would happen to you if I left.”

“That is kind, but you mustn’t factor me into your decisions.”

“If only I understood what lies between you and Mr Tyler. Why does he come here to make love to you, to shower you with gifts, only to then end up beating you?” Jabir asked fiercely .

“I could not tell you, even if I wanted to,” Alex said wearily. How was it possible to explain to anyone, least of all this kind, decent man, all that lay between him and Tyler, their complicated web of desire and hatred, and all of their terrible history?

“I will stay,” Jabir said softly. “I cannot leave you. Maura agrees. If I left, I would only fret about what was happening to you.”

After that, Alex took care to distance himself from Jabir as much as possible.

He’d never so much as spoken to the man’s children, for fear of what Tyler might do to them if he thought Alex was fond of them.

Now he withdrew from Jabir, too. Jabir still tried to engage him in conversation and looked puzzled when Alex rebuffed him.

It hurt to be cool to this man who had been so kind to him, but Alex knew the rules.

Gideon had been very clear, and he’d been right.

He couldn’t have friends; he’d only put them at risk.

When Tyler next returned, he brought the usual suitcases full of gifts: more clothes and some new books for him to read. They’d been carefully chosen, precisely the kind of reading material Tyler knew Alex loved. He barely glanced at them.

Tyler looked upset that his grand gesture had elicited so muted a response.

“I’m trying, Alexander. At least give me that,” he exclaimed.

“You are very kind,” Alex agreed. Sometimes, he heard himself and thought it sounded like that game kids played, where they agreed with the other person until it drove them mad. He could see why Tyler was so irritated, but he couldn’t stop.

Days passed, and Tyler didn’t sleep with him, but he did watch him constantly, clearly searching for some sign that he was still in there.

Alex didn’t mind. He had no need of his mask anymore, or possibly it was so ingrained that he’d succeeded in erasing all trace of himself, just as Gideon had wanted.

Either way, there was nothing for Tyler to see.

At the end of the week, Tyler took him for a trip on his yacht. He was solicitous, kind even.

“I want to make love to you tonight,” he said. “Dress for dinner. Let’s enjoy ourselves. ”

Alex dutifully dressed in one of the new outfits Tyler had brought for him, and joined him on deck for a delicious dinner, managing to smile and nod in all the right places.

When Tyler made love to him later, he was as acquiescent and dutiful as ever, but something had changed.

Alex waited for the hands to fasten around his throat, for Tyler’s rage to consume him, but it didn’t happen.

Tyler made love to him sweetly and tenderly, treating him as a cherished lover, not a punchbag.

There were soft kisses, gentle caresses, and kind words.

It made no difference to Alex, who couldn’t have cared less either way.

Afterwards, Tyler held him in his arms, trailing his fingers lovingly over Alex’s skin and pressing little kisses to his hair until he fell asleep.

When he awoke sometime later, Tyler was sitting on the balcony, gazing out over the moonlit waves as he sipped a glass of whisky. Alex watched him. He didn’t think Tyler was aware he was awake, but he must have made a sound, because Tyler suddenly spoke.

“I did wonder whether to come.” He gazed at Alex broodingly through the open balcony doors.

“I don’t like the hold you have over me.

I thought that by leaving you here, far away, out of sight, out of mind, I’d be free, but I still think about you all the damn time. ” He looked weary, full of despair.

Alex actually felt a twinge of pity for him. “How can I help?” He slid off the bed, pulled on a light cotton robe and padded silently over to him.

“I don’t know,” Tyler said wearily. “I look at you and I see Izzy. I never used to. I know she’d be horrified by what I’ve done to you, but you’re in my veins – I’m addicted to you. I can’t live with you, but I can’t live without you.”

“You should have killed me that time in the pool,” Alex murmured.

“I can’t kill you. Despite what you think, I’m not a killer. Besides, I can’t because…” He looked away. “She’d haunt me if I did.”

“Solange?”

“Isobel!” Tyler looked furious that he’d mentioned Solange. “I can’t kill you, Alex. I could never do that.”

“Then how does this end?” Alex asked helplessly.

“All I want is for you to—” Tyler broke off abruptly .

Alex waited.

“I need… I want…” Tyler’s face twisted in pain.

“Tell me.” Alex took hold of his hands and gazed at him.

“I love you,” Tyler whispered, and Alex was sure he believed it. “I love you, and I want you to love me back. If you could do that, I’d give you the world. I’d lay all my wealth at your feet. It’s all I want.”

Alex released his hands and sat back in his chair, staring at the moonlight shining on the gentle waves below.

“You have me. My every hour is yours to command,” he murmured.

“You can send me anywhere you like and do anything you wish to me. I’m yours completely.

I will give you everything you could ever ask of me as my houder.

” He glanced at Tyler. “But my feelings? You cannot dictate those, George. They are mine and mine alone. You know this, and it’s what drives you mad.

I would give you what you ask for if it was in my power, but it isn’t.

I’m lost to myself. I feel nothing. It’s all the same to me whether you lay all your wealth at my feet or close your hands around my throat and strangle the life from me.

I am yours and that is not enough. You want more.

You will always want more. I’m sorry for that.

” Alex gave him a pitying smile. “I truly am. If I could give you what you want, I would, but I can’t, and I never will. ”

It was, he thought, the most honest conversation they’d ever had. Here they were, finally, after all these years, exhausted by each other. There was nothing left, no fresh ground to explore, no new hand to play. Surely Tyler saw that?

Tyler took a sip of whisky, his eyes dark with unshed tears. Alex almost felt sorry for him.

“Thank you. I needed to hear that. You’re right, of course.” Tyler looked straight at him. “You still want me to kill you, don’t you?”

“I don’t see any other outcome.” Alex shrugged. “I make you angry. It’s not my intention, but I do. Why not finish it? I’m sure you could make it look like an accident. Throw me overboard, and let my body wash up in some lost zone somewhere. Then you’ll be free.”

“I could never do it in cold blood. I don’t want to do it at all.

” Tyler gazed dourly into his drink. “You fill me with such rage. I never mean to hurt you, but…” He finished the whisky in one gulp.

“You’re right. One of these days, I will kill you.

I won’t mean to, but I will all the same, and I don’t want that.

I don’t want you on my conscience. It’s bad enough having her there.

” He stared out at sea for a long time, and Alex wondered what was going on in his head.

“I see your mother,” he said finally. “In my dreams. How she’d hate me for what I’ve done to you.

I hate myself for it, too. I miss you, Alexander.

I know you might find it hard to believe, but I do.

I didn’t mean to fall in love with you, but you’re so bright and smart and so fucking enigmatic, and you’re all I have left of her, and somehow – and I don’t know how – I fell for you.

You get me. In a different time and place, we could have been perfect for each other. ”

Really? Alex thought. Could we?

Tyler turned to look at him again. “You’re sure you could never love me?”

“I’ve never been in love with anyone. I don’t think I’m capable of it,” Alex told him honestly.

“I’ve only ever loved your mother. I thought I’d never love anyone else as long as I lived, until… you.” Tyler sighed. “What a fucking mess. You’re wise to never fall in love. It makes you vulnerable, makes you weak. That’s how I feel around you – weak.”

“Yes.” That was why he had to lash out. George Tyler wasn’t a man who could bear to feel weak.

“I don’t like feeling weak, but I don’t want to kill you.” Tyler’s face twisted into a mask of sadness. “I’ll figure something out.” He stood up. “Goodbye, my love.” Leaning down, he pressed a kiss to Alex’s lips. “Sorry,” he whispered, and then he left.

He took a dinghy back to shore. Alex watched him from the yacht, not even remotely curious as to where he was going or what he would ‘figure out’. It didn’t matter.

A few weeks later, a helicopter arrived at the hacienda, and Alex’s security detail appeared in the doorway.

“You’re leaving. Now. No need to pack.”

There was no time to say goodbye to Jabir or Maura. He was bundled out of the door and taken to the waiting helicopter. Where to? It was out of his hands. He didn’t care enough to even wonder .

They landed in a cold, wet New London a few hours later. Alex shivered in his thin linen trousers and tee-shirt, completely unprepared for the English weather. Tyler wasn’t there to meet him, but a familiar figure was waiting at the airport.

“Alex!” He was wrapped in a warm bear hug. “You’re freezing. You poor old thing. The tan suits you, though.”

“Elliot?” Alex blinked in surprise.

“Yes, it’s me. Do you have any luggage? Well, never mind, I can buy you anything you need.”

“Am I to be your muse again?” Alex asked as Elliot drew him towards a waiting duck. “Like last time?”

“Not exactly like last time, but yes, I very much hope you’ll be my muse again. I’m counting on it, in fact.” They reached the duck, and he tugged Alex in close, trying to kiss him.

Alex pulled back. “My houder wouldn’t like it,” he demurred. “You know what his instructions were last time. He doesn’t want anyone touching me but him.”

“Ah, but you have a new houder now,” Elliot told him, with a delighted smile.

“What?” Alex gazed at him blankly.

“You’re mine, Alex. George sold your contract to me. All the paperwork went through this morning.”

Alex’s head was spinning as he climbed into the duck beside Elliot. Could this be true? Would Tyler really sell him, given what he knew?

“Oh, wait, I’m forgetting something.” Elliot was grinning from ear to ear as he took out a little black box and opened it. Inside was a beautiful gold necklace with a designer ID tag attached. It must have cost a fortune.

“Put it on,” Elliot urged, clapping his hands. “Let’s make this official.”

He batted Alex’s hands away impatiently, removed Tyler’s necklace and ID tag from around his neck, and then fastened his own there instead.

“Oh, yes. Look.” Elliot pointed at Alex’s reflection in the mirror. “Don’t you look gorgeous?”

“It’s very pretty,” Alex murmured .

“Aren’t you excited, sweetie?” Elliot asked, beaming from ear to ear. “I am. This is the start of a wonderful new chapter – for us both.”

As they drove away from the airport, Alex glanced in the wing mirror to see a black SUAV trailing them. He wasn’t surprised. Of course he wasn’t free of George Tyler. He would never be free of George Tyler. Not now. Not ever.