Page 35 of The Quarterlands (Dark Water #4)

More weeks passed, and he was now able to read for twenty minutes at a time before the fuzzy sound recurred, forcing him to put the book aside. He tried not to think about the future as he was reconciled to not having one.

Every day was the same: he wandered listlessly around the hacienda, watched the hologram of his mother, read a little, and swam a lot.

He didn’t feel bored. He didn’t feel real.

He was the ghost who inhabited this place, not a flesh-and-blood person.

He was sure he was see-through, transparent and insubstantial.

A wraith. Sometimes, he was surprised when he caught glimpses of himself in the mirror, or the gardener wished him good morning.

Surely he was invisible? How could anyone see him?

He was so used to this routine that he was confused when he heard the sound of a helicopter landing just beyond the olive grove, and then, a few minutes later, George Tyler strode into the courtyard.

“Alexander!” He looked jovial and relaxed as he took Alex by the arms and gazed at him. “You’re looking so much better. Your tan is darker than mine now.”

He swept Alex into a hug, holding him tight, then pushed him back to look at him again.

“God, I’ve missed you,” he whispered, holding Alex’s face between his hands and kissing him gently on the lips.

Alex stood there, unmoving, quiescent. He felt nothing.

Not hatred, or lust, or any of the feelings he’d once had towards this man. He was completely numb.

“I realised I only left you with summer clothes. I wasn’t anticipating you still being here when the seasons changed, so… I’ve made up for that.” Tyler clicked his fingers and a couple of security guards staggered forward, carrying two huge suitcases. “I have a present for you, too. ”

He took a beautifully wrapped gift box from his jacket pocket and handed it to him. Alex gazed at it, befuddled. What on earth was he supposed to do with it?

“Come on, open it,” Tyler chided, and that, at least, was a clue.

Alex opened it slowly, smoothing the paper as he went, and all the while Tyler hovered over him, waiting to see his reaction. Inside was a plain black leather box.

“Come on, come on!” Tyler chivvied again. Finally, he took the box from Alex’s nerveless fingers and opened it himself, to reveal a stunning watch inside.

“How beautiful,” Alex murmured, wondering why Tyler would think he cared about watches, of all things.

“It should be. It cost a fortune.” Tyler took it out of its box and strapped it to Alex’s wrist. Then he took his hand and led him to their bedroom, where he commanded Alex to unpack the suitcases.

The new clothes were beautiful, too: all the latest designer gear, perfect for the climate, elegant and well tailored.

Alex managed to stumble out a few words of appreciation.

He’d been perfectly happy in his old clothes.

Most days, he wore the same thing – comfortable, soft sweatpants and a tee-shirt, with a sweater when the weather was colder.

Now, at Tyler’s insistence, he dressed himself in a pair of navy-blue chinos and a soft silk tee-shirt, with a thin cashmere sweater over the top in a gorgeous shade of deep purple.

Tyler had even bought him some beach jewellery: a seashell bracelet and a leather amulet with a piece of perfectly polished blue-green sea-glass in it.

Alex put them on and slipped on a pair of new trainers.

He detected Andrew’s hand in the meticulously chosen clothes and well-packed suitcase.

The new outfit was comfortable and suited him.

Suddenly, he looked like a person again as he gazed at himself in the mirror.

Tyler stood behind him, with a little whistle of appreciation. “That’s my beautiful lover. Much better than loafing around every day, barely getting dressed.”

Ah, so that was why Tyler had bought all this stuff; he was irritated by his lethargy. Alex could understand why a man as driven as Tyler would find it both mystifying and annoying that he’d become such a lump.

“Come on, let’s eat.” Tyler led him back to the courtyard, where Jabir was scurrying around, laying out a delicious lunch. It was colder than in the summer, but still warm enough to sit out and eat on a sunny day, and there were patio heaters for when there was a chill in the air.

Tyler was in a good mood, full of anecdotes and happy smiles, as he sat opposite Alex, regaling him at length.

Alex did his best to concentrate, but he wasn’t used to conversations that lasted this long, and his mind wandered.

He managed to make noises in the right places, though, and that seemed to satisfy Tyler.

After they’d finished eating, Tyler sat back and gazed at him, clearing his throat.

“I hope you’re feeling better now,” he said earnestly, and Alex knew that he meant it. “I was worried about you when I left.”

“I am feeling better.” Alex managed to drag a smile from far away.

“I’m glad. I’ve been watching you, and you seem happier. You’re reading again.” He picked up the book Alex had left on the low wall beside the table, earlier in the day. “What’s it like? Any good?”

“It passes the time.” Alex gazed at him vacantly. He could hear Gideon in his head, chiding him for not being better prepared. “You’ve had weeks. He gave you back your yoga and your song. You must have known he’d return. You could have armoured up. You’re lazy and complacent.”

Tyler leaned forward across the table. “Listen, I want you back,” he said.

“Back?” Alex asked blankly. He hadn’t gone anywhere.

“Back as you were before, when we used to talk. Remember that first time in the Destiny duck? Remember how hot we were for each other? I want that again. I want that night in front of the fire at La Papillon. I want those conversations about floating cities. I want all that back, Alexander.”

“Of course. How lovely,” Alex murmured.

“I know I didn’t behave well towards the end of our last time together. I was frustrated. I want to make it up to you. I’m going to show you a good time. The best. ”

Tyler was true to his word. Over the next few days, he took Alex out on several boat trips around the bays and caves nearby. They were always surrounded by security, and Alex never had a chance to interact with any ordinary Spaniards, but no opulence was spared.

On warm days, they had fine lunches on Tyler’s private yacht and lazy afternoons sleeping it off in hammocks on the deck.

Tyler kissed him every so often, but he never made any other kind of move on him.

He was the perfect gentleman, entertaining, funny, and solicitous.

If Alex hadn’t known better, he would have thought he was attempting to woo him.

It reminded him of how important his enthusiastic consent had been to Tyler in the early days.

Tyler brought out plans for his new floating cities, laid them on the table in the hacienda, and talked Alex through them.

He was excited, full of passion for his pet project.

Alex remembered he’d once felt the same, but now he could barely summon an interest. He expressed polite curiosity about the plans, managed to ask pertinent if uninteresting questions, and then lapsed back into silence.

“I want you again,” Tyler told him on his yacht one day, after he’d been back for a week. He reached for Alex’s hand.

“You can have me whenever you like,” Alex murmured. “I’m yours.”

“I want you to want me,” Tyler told him.

“Ah.” Alex gave a distant smile.

“I want that heat, that passion that was always between us. I liked the fire, even though it burned us. It was always so hot between us, wasn’t it?”

Alex turned his head to gaze into Tyler’s brown eyes. “Yes. Hot.” He smiled emptily.

Tyler gave an irritable sigh. “It seems that no matter how hard I try, you don’t respond.”

Alex had no reply.

Tyler raised his hand to his mouth and kissed it. “Come on, let’s go to bed. We always did our best talking in the bedroom.”

He led Alex to the large red bed in the black-and-white bedroom on the yacht and kissed him gently.

Alex had to hand it to him, he really did try.

He spent ages kissing, licking, and caressing him, but Alex’s cock remained resolutely soft, despite his best efforts.

Alex kissed him back, caressed him where directed, and generally went through the motions without any of the heat that Tyler so desperately craved.

He wished he could oblige, but he was so disconnected from himself that it was impossible.

He didn’t want to anger his houder, but he simply had nothing to give.

If that meant arousing Tyler’s anger, then so be it.

It didn’t matter. Nothing did. However, on this occasion, Tyler was gentle and solicitous, pretending not to notice that Alex failed to achieve an erection.

As the days passed, though, his frustration returned. He stopped wooing Alex, taking him roughly whenever he was in the mood, his lovemaking becoming more and more brutal as he substituted violence for the passion he was seeking.

Alex took it without complaint. He felt as if they were acting out some great opera and this was the final act. He wasn’t consciously goading Tyler into killing him, but he hoped he would. He couldn’t see any other way for this to end.

One night, as Tyler was pounding into his body in their bedroom in the hacienda, he gazed up at the ceiling and wondered if there was a mirror there because he seemed to be looking down on himself.

He could no longer feel his body, or what Tyler was doing to it.

He watched dispassionately from afar as Tyler finished inside him then rolled over, wrapped an arm around him, and fell asleep.

He didn’t remember anything about the next few hours.

He didn’t think he slept, but he wasn’t sure he was awake, either.

He wasn’t aware of anything until he heard someone shouting in his ear and he came to, to find himself standing by the pool with someone shaking him, their fingers digging roughly into his shoulders.

“Oh my fucking God! You’ve got to be kidding me. What have you done?”

Tyler’s voice. Alex shook himself awake, wondering what the hell was going on.

It took him a few moments to understand, and then he gazed at the pool in shock.

All his clothes were in the water, a rich mixture of pale linens and vivid silks, cashmere and cotton, swirling around in a tangle of arms and legs, as if they’d taken themselves off for a swim.

“Why the hell did you do that?” Tyler demanded .

Alex stared at him blankly. “I don’t remember doing it,” he whispered. He really didn’t. What had happened? Had he been sleepwalking? Or had he somehow been re-enacting that memory of throwing Brown’s clothes into the school pool?

“You little shit. I bought these for you and this is how you repay me? And where’s your new watch?” Tyler grabbed his wrist to find it empty. “I suppose that’s in there, too?”

“I don’t know. I don’t remember.”

“We’ll see about that, shall we?” Tyler growled.

He dragged Alex along to the security room and had them replay the courtyard’s CCTV footage.

Alex raised his hand to his mouth in shock as he watched himself carrying armfuls of clothes to the pool and dropping them in without emotion, then returning for more.

Then, finally, looking completely blank, he’d removed the watch and simply allowed it to fall from his fingers into the water.

There was no anger in any of his actions, and while his eyes were open, there was no expression on his face.

“Hmm, maybe you really were sleepwalking,” Tyler said grudgingly, giving him the benefit of the doubt. “You’d better shape up, though,” he warned. “I’ll give you more time, but when I next visit, I expect things to be different.”

Then he left, and peace returned to the hacienda once more.