Page 78 of The Quarterlands (Dark Water #4)

“What did you think of him?” Alex asked, leaning forward. Joe had a way of seeing into the soul of a person and understanding precisely who they were.

“Well, I could see why you liked him. He was easy to like. Charming, elegant, and very clever. Yet, he was also…” Joe paused to consider.

“I was going to say dangerous, but I don’t think that’s the right word.

Venomous suits him better. I’m not sure any of us ever got to know the real Gideon; he was too manipulative for that.

Like you said, he loved pulling everyone’s strings, right to the bitter end.

” Joe gave a little grimace, and Alex wondered what had passed between them.

He’d love to have been there, watching these two men who’d played such huge roles in his life, facing off against each other.

“You must be delighted to have finally uncovered the truth. I know how much you hate unsolved mysteries,” Alex teased.

“Yeah, it’s a huge character flaw.” Joe sighed. “So, how do you want to spend our final night together?”

“I know exactly what I want to do.” Alex grinned.

“What?”

“Dance!” He jumped to his feet. “Come on, Joe. We only danced once, and that’s a crying shame.

Let’s twist and shout.” He grinned, gyrating around the dining room.

He asked the sound system to play that song, and the raw sound of the early Beatles filled the room.

Joe laughed and joined him, dancing energetically in time to the music.

“Not bad for an old man,” Alex taunted, twisting away from him.

“I’m only eight years older than you,” Joe protested. He caught up with Alex and grabbed him, making him squeal with laughter.

Joe pulled him in close and danced with him properly. When the song finished, he called for a slower number and they drifted lazily around the room, wrapped up in each other’s arms.

They danced for a long time, neither of them wanting the evening to end. Joe’s body was so big and solid. He was wearing a pair of pale blue jeans and a white shirt, and looked as crisp and well-groomed as ever, even in casual clothes. The familiar scent of his aftershave was strong and clean.

Alex leaned into him, enjoying the closeness. For years, he’d had a crush on a fantasy image of who Joe was. He could see now that the real man was both less and more – so much more – than his fantasy.

Maybe, if he was free, and they had the time to mend what was broken between them, then maybe… but it was pointless. He wasn’t free and unlikely ever to be free again.

He’d always thought he didn’t deserve love, and certainly not the love of a man like this, so kind, decent, and strong, but maybe, one day, if he put his head down and worked on himself, he’d be worthy of a man like Joe.

So much had happened since they’d last danced in this room, a lifetime ago. He recalled those early, cautious days when he hadn’t been sure he could trust Joe and felt he was making one mistake after another.

“Remember when I put on Peter’s clothes and you had a meltdown?” he murmured as they danced.

“Yeah.” Joe chuckled.

“I didn’t think. Elliot loved me wearing Christopher’s clothes.” Alex rested his chin on Joe’s reassuringly broad shoulder.

“Everyone grieves differently, I suppose.”

“Yes.” Alex thought of Tyler, channelling his grief into revenge; and Elliot, needing to pretend his husband was still there, magically transformed into someone else…

and Joe, frozen in time, unable to move on, locked in the trauma of that terrible night.

Then he thought of himself, drowning in guilt for his mother’s death, whether misplaced or not, and trying to make up for it by keeping a promise he should never have made in the first place.

“Then I tried to seduce you.” Alex winced.

“Honestly, I was all over the place. I thought that if you slept with me, I could figure out whether to trust you, and it’d be easier to tell you about Solange.

” He leaned back to gaze at Joe. “But I can see why you felt it was one more manipulation in a whole pattern of deceit.”

“You were led to expect that all anyone wanted of you was sex. It’s not surprising that warped your understanding of people and relationships.”

“Shall we agree to forgive each other, then?” Alex asked.

“It’s already done.” Joe smiled .

Alex leaned forwards and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips and then, regretfully, let him go.

“Time for bed,” he sighed. “Big day tomorrow.”

As he left the room, he paused for a moment to gaze at the vase Liz had given to Peter and Joe as a wedding present. It looked strong and beautiful, with its golden kintsugi seams snaking around where he’d mended it.

Joe smiled at him. “I think I like it better that way,” he said.

Alex dumped his suitcase in the spare room and prepared for bed. Then he performed some simple yoga poses while listening to his song. Solange’s killer might have been brought to justice, but Alex was still an IS. It wouldn’t do to let his method of coping with that fact lapse.

He lay in bed for a long time, staring at the ceiling.

Tomorrow was the dawn of a new chapter in his life, and he wasn’t looking forward to it.

He’d have to adjust to the needs and demands of a new houder, and although he was sure Charles was right, and the next one wouldn’t dare to treat him badly, it was still a life of servitude.

An hour ticked by, but sleep wouldn’t come. He didn’t want it to because that would bring the morning closer, and with it, a day he didn’t want to face.

Finally, he gave up, climbed out of bed, and padded next door. Joe lifted the duvet the minute he arrived, as if he’d been waiting for him, and Alex slipped in beside him.

“I know we agreed not to do this again, because we didn’t want to make it even harder on ourselves, but…

this could be my last chance to have sex with someone of my own choosing – someone I genuinely desire and care about,” Alex said softly, resting his hands on Joe’s chest. “It’s been a while, and I’ll understand if you don’t feel the same way, but I want you, Joe. One last time.”

He looked down to see Joe gazing up at him from sad, dark eyes.

No words were necessary. Joe’s hands slid around his body and pulled him close, and his lips claimed a passionate kiss.

Alex knew this was what he wanted – needed – more than anything else in the world right now; to be loved by this strong, steadfast man .

So much water had flowed under the bridge. They’d hurt and disappointed each other too many times, kept too many secrets, but now, finally, in the darkness of their last night together, there was only honesty.

Joe was already naked, and it was the work of seconds for Alex to remove his own tee shirt and boxer shorts and for Joe to retrieve condoms and lube from the bedside table. Then Joe pulled him back into the warm circle of his arms.

“I want it like the first time,” Alex whispered.

“I know.” Of course he did. Joe knew precisely what he wanted – needed – tonight. He wanted to be overwhelmed, lost in the moment, and completely consumed by passion, as he’d been when they’d first made love downstairs, a lifetime ago.

Joe took charge, and Alex surrendered, losing himself in the sensations.

Joe held him down, his hands circling Alex’s wrists firmly but gently, holding him in place while he dipped his head and kissed his lips, and his neck, and then nuzzled lower to take a nipple into his mouth.

He sucked down hard, making Alex moan, then kissed his way across his chest to the other one and sucked it too.

Alex sighed and bucked up against him, loving the sheer, solid weight of the man on top of him.

He revelled in being the focus of all Josiah Raine’s laser-sharp attention to detail. Joe’s big hands roved over his body, stroking, tweaking, and exciting him. He was soon lost, consumed by one wave of pleasure after another, until they all joined together and he was a mess of quivering bliss.

Joe was relentless, giving him no time to think, or to dwell, even for a second, on what would happen in the morning. He pulled Alex up, moved him around, and explored every single inch of his body, determined in his quest to give Alex exactly what he wanted.

Pushing Alex onto his front, he gently pulled his buttocks apart. Alex sighed as Joe’s warm tongue slipped into his hole. He remembered the first time Joe had rimmed him, and how he’d been taken to a state of incoherent ecstasy.

Alex had always prided himself on being good at sex, but in Joe he’d met his match. Joe rimmed him for a long time, until he was boneless with pleasure, then flipped him onto his back.

He leaned over Alex and kissed him deeply on the lips, swallowing his startled gasp as he wrapped a lubed hand around his straining cock.

He rubbed it slowly, firmly, kissing Alex all the while, making him pant and moan.

He whimpered when Joe pulled back, then cried out when he moved down and took his cock into his mouth, teasing the tip slowly with his tongue.

“Oh God!” He gripped the sheets with his hands. “Please…” He wasn’t sure what he was begging for, but it felt so good.

Joe grinned up at him, a wicked, knowing grin that should have warned him, then deep-throated him with one sudden move, and he almost passed out. For the next few minutes he was lost, until he felt himself coming. Joe held him in place and swallowed down every last drop, then licked him clean.

“That was…” Alex trailed off. He had no words.

But Joe wasn’t done with him yet. He began kissing and caressing Alex all over again, slowly, gently, taking his time, as if mapping every last inch of his body and committing it to memory.

“I should do something for you,” Alex murmured, waving a hand vaguely, too blissed out to move.

“No. You’ll do exactly as I say,” Joe said firmly.

Alex sighed happily, delighted to be surrendering so completely to this man, tonight of all nights.