Page 53 of The Call of Azure (Unexpected Love #3)
“I think maybe I should go.”
The room has been completely silent since Gabriel basically called Mar a witch, screamed that he’s in love with me, and ran out of the room.
Mar’s boyfriend Ken quickly followed him, but even his exit was silent.
The past two minutes…no, maybe three hours, have been nothing more than the sound of crickets as the six of us stare primarily at the floor while surreptitiously glancing around the room on occasion, trying to see if anyone has any brilliant ideas about what just happened or what we’re supposed to do now.
I’ve only seen them once, the night of our final show, but I’ve no doubt that’s who they are.
Even if they hadn’t come barreling through the doorway right behind Gabriel, each resting a supportive and calming hand on his arm as he broke down, it would be hard to mistake a guy with teal hair and covered in black tattoos with a handsome auburn-haired man hanging off his arm like he’s the brightest light in the universe for another couple.
They touched Gabriel freely at the show, just like they did a few moments ago.
It’s something I’ve never been able to bring myself to do, but when they do it, he leans into it like a touch-starved puppy.
He really is so much lonelier than people realize, and I’m glad he has these two and their family in his life.
On the night of our final performance, after Gabriel let go of his silks and dropped into the tank with me, he pulled me close, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and embracing me tightly with the brightest smile I’ve ever seen mere inches from my face as the crowd roared their approval.
When they finally quieted, he still clung to me like an adorable little drowned rat, clearly not quite sure how to get out of the tank.
His silks were too high above the water’s surface for either of us to grab, and the walls are twelve feet high, so it’s not like he could hoist himself up and over and drop to the ground.
In the end, I’d wrapped him in one of my arms, and we’d slowly swum through the tunnels to my cave together.
He was exhausted and laughing and struggling to catch his breath by the time he climbed up the steps and dropped onto his back on the platform while I pulled off my tail and got us a couple of towels.
We hadn’t said much as we dried off and pulled on a couple of robes, but there wasn’t really anything to be said.
The moment was too soft and perfect to ruin it by begging him for more once the night was over.
I watched and smiled and ached as he gave me a tired, satisfied grin while we changed.
I cataloged every lock of wet hair clinging to his skin and every glance his warm brown eyes sent my way, putting them away for safekeeping so I could remember them for the rest of my days.
When we’d finally made our way out of the cave, still in bathrobes, to join the fancy crowd, Blue and Ethan had practically jumped on him.
The three of them laughed together as they hugged him and kissed his cheeks many times.
Blue held Gabriel’s face in his hands and pressed their foreheads together and whispered quiet words that made Gabriel smile a soft, heartfelt smile of thanks and friendship and love.
I already knew how much they meant to him by the way he’s always talked about them, but seeing them together made me realize just how much Gabriel longs to be loved and how important their friendship is.
I don’t know the other two men standing awkwardly at the edge of Ken’s front room, but they’re clearly a couple as well.
A large, bearded lumberjack type whose arm has been wrapped around a smaller, pale, raven-haired man since they stumbled around the corner right behind Gabriel and Blue and Ethan in the chase to protect whoever was entering from Cupcake’s furry.
Everyone’s eyes snap up when Mar finally breaks the crushing silence, but I can’t meet them.
I’m too close to panic, too close to losing myself as my heart wars with itself over the fact that Gabriel stormed out angry and upset, and the fact that he said he loved me before he did.
I’m lost in the battle between hope and despair.
Between wanting to follow him so I can fall to my knees and beg him to let me in.
To take a chance. To let me show him just how good we could be together if we both tried to be brave enough.
And running far away and hiding before he can come back in with his walls hardened and his heart closed off to stomp out the tiny flicker of hope that’s taken root.
“I know, Mar. I know you couldn’t. It’s okay, but I still think I should go.
He’s clearly upset over…well…everything…
including me, and I don’t want to make that worse for him.
” Cupcake hasn’t stopped licking my hand since I scooped her up, even with all the yelling.
I can’t kidnap his dog on my way out, so I step forward and hold her out toward the group of men who stare at me like I’m an alien.
None of them makes any move to take her.
“Please.” My voice cracks, and tears burn my eyes, and I’m hanging on by a thread.
Blue steps forward to rescue me. “Liam. Ken will talk to him. I’ll talk to him. I already knew he’d fallen in love with you. He’s been quite shit at hiding it from everyone but himself.”
I can only shake my head and shove Cupcake into his arms. I don’t want to listen to any more of his words of hope and comfort and support.
I don’t want to let myself believe that the future I want is possible.
My lungs burn and my heart races as the idea of hope pulls me under like a riptide, threatening to drag me deep enough to drown me.