Page 50 of The Call of Azure (Unexpected Love #3)

I lose it completely, a loud, laugh-snort bursting out of me, and I’m thrilled that I get to be the one to enlighten them.

“You apparently.” His brow furrows in confusion, and I’m only too happy to keep talking.

“Your dad stopped by your place just before we got here, and he heard you enjoying some afternoon delights.”

“Oh my god.” The color drains from Namid’s face while Jayce’s pinkens. “Oh my god, Ken, we…”

“Nope.” Ken gives up pretending the glass is still somehow dirty and holds up a hand. “Please do not continue that sentence. I know that you boys are…”

“Dad!” Ethan’s voice is almost a squeak. “Please don’t continue that sentence. Oh my god.”

I happily nibble more cheese and settle my ass against the counter.

Maybe today won’t be stressful after all if this is the kind of entertainment that’s in store.

Before anyone can say another word, however, the sound of the front door, and a smooth, surprisingly deep feminine voice pulls our attention away from the family sex crisis.

“Hello? We’re here!”

In what feels like a slow-motion animated cartoon short, all six of us seem to realize at the exact same moment that Cupcake doesn’t care about begging at our feet and listening to Ken and his boys panic in embarrassment nearly as much as she cares about the opportunity to attack a new and unsuspecting victim.

We all glance down, bending and squatting and stretching to reach for her all at once, only to watch in horror as her fluffy little black butt slips past our grabby fingers as she takes off like a shot, barking her little head off, the sound of her tiny nails clicking on the tile floor echoing through the room ominously.

I swear our voices actually come out in a deep, drug-out slow-motion video tone as we scramble after her, all crashing into one another, socked feet skidding and sliding, each of us nearly taking the others out as we fly through the kitchen and round the corner hot on her tail in an futile attempt to save Ken’s new girlfriend from losing any fingers or toes.

Time seems to both speed up and slow to a crawl as we watch in horror as she makes it to the front room entrance first, and we brace ourselves for the inevitable bloody carnage that will certainly await us by the time we catch up.

But when we make it to the front room carpet and regain our footing enough to focus on grabbing her rather than dying along the way, what we find isn’t a fingerless girlfriend.

Oh no. What we find is so…so much worse.

“What the fluff? What in the H-E-Double hockey sticks are YOU doing here? Are you stalking me? How did you know I’d be here?

” I sound absolutely crazed, my voice at least three octaves higher than normal and climbing with each word as I ramble in panic over the fact that Cupcake is not biting anyone’s fingers off, but instead, sitting happily in Liam’s arms getting ear scratches while occasionally licking at his neck.

His hypnotizing blue eyes are so wide they may accidentally fall out of his head, but he’s smiling as he walks slowly toward me while still scratching Cupcake as if it’s a perfectly normal, not weird or creepy or horrifying, thing that he’s just randomly shown up at Ken’s house like he belongs here less than a month after I forced myself to shake his hand and walk away while unsuccessfully telling my heart that he doesn’t have a place in my life.

“Gabriel, calm down for just a second, okay. You’re scaring me a little.

I swear I had no idea you’d be here. Aunt Mar asked me to make dessert and come out to meet her boyfriend at his birthday party since they’re getting serious.

” He cocks his head at the same time Cupcake does, and I will absolutely not be distracted by the absurd cuteness of that image. “Actually. What are you doing here?”

“Boyfriend? Aunt Mar?” I can’t seem to string together more than one word at a time because the entire world doesn’t feel real, and this has to be some kind of seriously less-than-funny practical joke or attempt to force me to admit my secret feelings for Liam that Blue has orchestrated, and oh my god, I sound even crazier than I did when I was rambling and accusing him of stalking me.

I whip my head around wildly, looking for Blue or Ethan or maybe Jayce or Namid or even Ken…anyone who might be able to offer some insight into what is going on here. Instead, what I find is yet again, so…so much worse.

“Witch!” I point and screech like a banshee at the woman holding a bright-pink bakery box and standing next to Liam.

She’s in her late fifties, with long brown hair peppered with strands of bright white that catch the light like Christmas tinsel when she moves, and just like the first time I saw her, she’s dressed in some kind of long, flowing, brightly colored robe or dress or collection of scarves.

Just like the first time I saw her, there is something about her that feels almost otherworldly, like she belongs out of time or space or in another universe completely, only this time I know why.

Because this time, she’s not sitting behind a table offering to read my tarot cards.

This time, she’s clearly a witch who has dragged Liam to Ken’s birthday party for the sole purpose of frightening the living daylights out of me and forcing me to see him yet again so that I’ll have to start my master plan of trying to keep thoughts of him out of my head from scratch.

The grin that spreads across her face is wide enough to seem almost threatening as she winks at me.

She flipping winks at me, and I’ve never been more terrified in my life as I stumble backward in an attempt to try and hide behind Ethan and Blue, who are still standing just behind me from our chaotic and very short-lived high-speed Cupcake chase.

“Oh my god, you are absolutely a witch. Or…holy fruit, you’re an alien. A robot?”

She throws her head back in a laugh that sounds musical but is clearly just a ploy to trick unsuspecting prey into buying her kind, eclectic old lady crap. I respond in the only way I can, by yipping dramatically and hopping back even further.

“I’m nothing of the sort, sweet thing. Sometimes the cards just show me what the universe has planned.”

“OMG, did you set this whole thing up? You set this up somehow, didn’t you?

You…you have a merman nephew. No, son…no…

you…well, you have a merman Liam, and you probably have a deck of cards that’s nothing but sexy mermen, and you draw the same card every time, and then you somehow found out who I am, and you… you sicced Liam on me!”

I jump when Ethan and Blue’s hands land on my arms, and Liam, with Cupcake still tucked under his arm, takes a single step closer.

I can’t focus on the feel of their hands or the way they’re crowding my back in support because every cell in my body is narrowed in on Liam and the pain that lingers behind bright-blue eyes I never thought I’d be this close to ever again.

“Gabriel…hey…can you breathe for a second, please?”

Breathing. Oh my god, I'm not breathing. Yes, I should breathe. That would be good, probably. We should all just breathe.

Liam’s face hardens, and he turns away to face the scary tarot card lady. “Mar, what did you do? You said you wouldn't read cards for real anymore.”

“I couldn't help it. Those two…” She points at Blue and Ethan.

“They were so close to either letting one another go or reaching for true love. They had a chance to be happy for the rest of their lives, kiddo. I couldn't let it slip through their fingers.” She eyes me up and down with a grin. “He was just a bonus. I had no idea that when the cards showed me his fate, it was you they had in store for him. You know it doesn’t work like that.”

“In store for me!” I take a step forward and nearly shriek in indignation.

“He wasn't in store for me. We're not together. We’re not in a relationship. We're just friends. We’re not even friends; we’re professional colleagues. That's it. I mean, he’s a really nice guy, and I miss having him around, and I’ve never connected with someone when I’ve tied them the way I did with him, and we slept together twice, and…

And, ya, okay, I maybe have fallen in love with him, but I don't date anymore, so he was definitely not in store…”

I slap my hand over my mouth when my brain finally catches up, and I realize why everyone is suddenly staring at me with their jaws on the floor.

Oh my god.

Oh my god, oh my god.

I just told Liam and Blue and Ethan and their entire family and the crazy card witch that I’m in love with him…