Page 31 of The Call of Azure (Unexpected Love #3)

“You okay?” His voice is clear and soft. It’s not faint or distant the way voices feel when I panic, but even though it’s crisp and close, it doesn’t pull me away from where I’m floating through the universe.

“Mmm.”

“Anything hurting or too tight? Any place feel tingly?”

“Hmm-mmm.”

His laugh is warm and tingly. He should laugh more. I want more tingly.

“Can you give me a couple of words, hun? Anywhere that feels problematic?”

“Huh-uh.”

His tingly laugh rolls across my skin again. Good.

“I’ll let that count as words, I suppose. This is your first time, so I'm not tying as tightly as I normally would. You should still feel secure, but I want you to pay attention to how the pressure feels for next time, okay?”

“Mmmm.”

His tingly laugh vibrates my soul once more, but he’s not touching me anymore. I don't know where he's gone, but it's okay because the ropes are his fingers and they're still holding me. I want him to hold me like this for always.

I think I'm still kneeling on a pillow in his bedroom, but everything is so soft and fluffy and floaty that maybe I'm not really here anymore.

Maybe I walked into the sea, and the tides pulled me far away from the grey sand shores, and the waves are rolling me across the world.

But that's okay too, because my body is heavy and light and empty. So empty and so calm.

His knuckles are back, and they’re so soft as they brush my skin. The rope is soft too. Soft and tight, but I'm not being squeezed or squished or roughed up. There is only compression and support and it's holding me and I can let go because I'm safe. He’ll keep me safe.

Fingers are trailing along my neck, tender and slow, and his voice is speaking to me quietly.

“Hey, hun. Can you come back to me just a bit for a moment? You can go right back to where you are, but I need you to answer a question for me first. Can you do that?”

A single nod is all I can manage. My body is heavy and weightless at the same time, and it takes so much energy to get it to respond at all. I don’t want to move or talk or think. I want to stay here where it’s quiet and safe and nothing bad can find me.

An amused chuckle follows my nod. “That’s good. I need you to answer my next question with words, though, even just a couple of them, then you can go right back into subspace, alright?”

I don’t know where subspace is. But if it’s filled with anything like this happy, melty warmth that’s running through my veins, then I definitely want to visit soon.

“I’m going to start removing the rope now.”

I manage an annoyed groan. I like the rope. The rope holds me tight and comfortable and secure.

Gabriel laughs again. “I know. It’ll still take me a while to remove it all, and we can do this again.

We can do it as many times as you want, but it’s time to start working toward the end for today.

I’ll take the ropes off slowly, unless you say otherwise, so that you can keep feeling like this while I do, but I can go about it in one of two ways.

I can touch only the rope for the most part, or I can touch your skin a bit as I work.

The skin that’s been compressed under the ropes will be raw and sensitive.

Some people don’t like the feeling of it being touched, and some really love it.

For some people, it’s sexual or sensual or intimate, and for some, it simply feels good.

There is no right or wrong answer. It’s just a matter of whether you want to feel any more new sensations today or whether this has been enough.

Can you tell me which you’d like to try today?

You can always change your mind, and we can try other things other times, of course. ”

Goosebumps pebble my skin as a tremor runs through me.

He’s offering to touch me, and even though I don’t usually want anyone touching me, I want the memory of his fingers gliding across my skin more than anything.

I want the hazy comfort I’m lost in to be filled with his limbs intertwined with mine and his fingers tangling in my hair.

I want the warmth of his breath and his gasps and whimpers buried in the bend of my neck.

I want his weight on my lap and his cock dragging across mine.

I want him to keep me tied and safe as he kisses me until I can’t breathe and thrusts into me hard and slow and deep.

I want him with a desperateness I’ve never felt before.

I’ve never wanted anything the way I want him.

I want so many things that I know I can’t have.

So many things that I know someone like him could never want with someone like me.

I know he’s not offering me those things.

Even in my languid, dreamy state, I know he’s not offering me anything like that.

But he’s offering me something. A chance to feel him again, if only for a moment.

“Touch, please.” I barely recognize my own voice; it’s so deep and disconnected from the rest of me in this moment, but I don’t care. All I care about is Gabriel.