Page 9 of Tell Me Softly

Chapter Five

Kami

I couldn’t think about anything but the heat of his lips on my ears and the way it spread all the way through my body.

It had only lasted a few seconds, but it had turned my world upside down.

Never had such a soft touch meant so much.

But he hated me, and he was probably doing it to provoke me.

Since Thiago’s return, the part of me I kept hidden—that part I worked so hard to keep under control—was struggling to come out and destroy everything in its reach.

Damn him for having so much power over me!

But why was I surprised? He always had. When we were kids, I had to be careful when he was around.

I felt like a small, defenseless animal being hunted by a beast. Thiago eclipsed everything; his simple presence made that perfect pose I’d tried so hard to perfect turn to dust.

I cursed, thinking about my phone. I didn’t know what he was after, but I wasn’t going to play his game. He was going to give it back, even if I had to break into his house and steal it.

I was in a bad mood as I walked out of the gym. Ellie was there waiting for me, leaning against her car and finishing one of the day’s many cigarettes. I had already quit; I hated the smell of tobacco on my clothes, in my hair, and in my mouth.

“Were you flirting with the new assistant coach?” Ellie asked, looking like she wouldn’t have minded doing the same.

“You wish,” I said, getting in and looking in the mirror, trying to get a hold of myself and my quivering body.

“He’s hot as hell,” she said, starting the car and taking off toward Aaron’s house. “But for real now, what were you doing talking to Thiago?”

“He’s my neighbor; he just wanted to know if I needed a ride home,” I lied, knowing that was the last thing Thiago would ever do for me.

“Some of the girls told me y’all used to know each other when you were little,” she said, turning a corner and stopping at a stoplight.

“I used to play with his brother, Taylor,” I said as though it wasn’t important. “Thiago was just my neighbor, nothing special.”

“Oh, he was just your neighbor?” She turned from the road to stare me in the face. She did that all the time, and I hated it; she could do it forever without even blinking. The smile on her face couldn’t have been more malicious.

“Yes, Ellie. Just a neighbor. In fact, we always hated each other.” I mean, that wasn’t true. He hated me for what I’d done, but we’d been close before that. Especially the year before he left.

“There’s a thin line between love and hate…” She laughed.

“Yeah, you’ll find out how thin if you keep pushing me,” I said.

“Man, you’re in a mood tonight,” she responded, turning into Aaron’s subdivision, which was full of giant, fancy houses.

“I have to tell you something, though,” I said, remembering one of the reasons why my palms were sweating. “Apparently Danny was mouthing off in the locker room and told his friends I’m not a virgin anymore.”

Ellie stomped the brakes and looked at me open-mouthed. “You’re kidding, right?!”

I shook my head. I’d always hated the way boys talked shit about what they did with girls at parties or in their cars behind the school, but Danny had been my boyfriend for two whole years, and for him to just betray my trust like that…

why was it so different with boys and girls?

He’d been a virgin before he was with me too, and I hadn’t told the whole world about it.

“Victor came up to me during the game and said some shit about how I was a woman now and was part of some club…”

“Fuck Victor,” Ellie said, driving and looking forward again. “He’s an idiot. Danny probably told Aaron, and Aaron told everyone else in the locker room. I can’t imagine Danny spreading your business around like that.”

“Danny can be cruel when he wants to,” I said, remembering our fights and what he’d said to me a few hours before in his car.

“So what are you going to do?” she asked me.

“Dump him,” I responded, looking out the window. “Actually, I already did.”

“Get out!” she shouted, astonished.

“I did it before the game. I should have before I went on vacation, but I thought maybe if we had some time apart…I don’t know, that we’d miss each other and things would go back to how they had been…”

“Did you miss him?”

I shook my head.

“I like Danny, I really do, but I’m not in love with him anymore.” This was the first time I’d admitted it aloud.

Ellie nodded.

“You being back on the market, you know that’s all people at school are going to be talking about, right? Are you ready for it?”

At that moment, I couldn’t have cared less about people at school or what they thought.

“What I’m ready for is to get trashed and forget how horrible this week has been.”

Ellie took her hands off the wheel and clapped, and I leaned over to grab it, terrified, turning just before we veered off the road.

“We’re getting trashed!” she shouted excitedly as she started steering again.

I laughed and shook my head. She was incorrigible, but I wouldn’t have changed her for the world.

Aaron’s house was so big that our entire senior class was able to fit inside, along with some of the younger students.

Plus, it had a big yard, so it wasn’t too close to any of the neighbors, and that made it perfect for a party.

The music wouldn’t bother anyone, and the police would leave us in peace.

I’m not exaggerating when I say there was enough beer there to stun an elephant.

Ellie and I got out of the car and walked to the front door.

Danny was standing there smoking a joint.

He looked at me with an impossible-to-decipher expression, and the people around him glared at me too, as if they were accusing me of something.

I had no idea how anyone would receive the news of our breakup, but there was one thing I was sure of: they would take sides.

I had no idea if I’d come out winning or losing.

Ellie pulled my arm, trying to get me to ignore the hate coming off them, and we went inside to leave all that bad energy behind.

Inside, people were dancing, smoking, and making out in the corners—the usual things at a party like that. I found Kate leaning on the kitchen counter after about five minutes. Marissa was there too with her boyfriend, Aaron, and some guy I didn’t know. Kate hurried over to give us a hug.

“Girls, this is my brother, Julian,” she said, pointing to the tall, brown-haired boy standing next to her. He had the same eyes as Kate and a pleasant smile. “Julian, these are my two best friends, Kamila Hamilton and Ellie Webber.”

I reached my hand out to him. Kate had told us her brother was moving in with her.

I say brother––he was really her half-brother.

They shared the same father, but they hadn’t been very close before.

Julian was a year older, and his parents had split just after he was born.

Their father remarried almost immediately, and his new wife had Kate shortly after.

Kate and Julian had reconnected three years ago, and when Julian’s mother moved to Florida, he arranged to come live with Kate and her family.

Julian was going to our school because he had to repeat a grade. Kate didn’t like it, but I was happy at least to be able to get to know her brother.

Julian smiled affectionately and said, “I’ve only been here two days, but I can’t tell you how many people have talked to me about you both.”

“Don’t believe all the rumors,” I said jokingly, but there was a part of me that meant it.

Kate went to pour herself a drink. I took my time examining Julian in her absence.

He was handsome, but he wasn’t my type. As this occurred to me, I remembered someone who was: Thiago. But I tried to push him out of my mind.

The party was at its peak, and the music and the beer put me in a better mood.

Julian and I talked, and Kate seemed happy that her brother was fitting in.

I excused myself to go to the bathroom and saw Taylor, who was playing pool in one of the side rooms. I leaned against the wall, hoping he wouldn’t notice me.

He was wearing a pair of ratty jeans, a Rolling Stones T-shirt, and a backward Knicks cap.

He bit his cheek as he bent over, concentrating, and shot with absolute certainty.

I knew that gesture from when he was a kid.

When I looked up, I noticed that more girls had come in.

Normally, it was hard for the girls to get in on a game, but I must admit there was a good reason: almost all of them were terrible at pool.

Soon I realized none of them were there to play anyway.

They were all just devouring Taylor with their eyes.

I got it. He was handsome. More than handsome—sexy.

As if he could hear my thoughts, he looked up. He seemed surprised at first, as though he couldn’t get used to the idea that we were in the same town again. For a second, he hesitated, but then he smiled with what looked like sincerity.

“Hey, Hamilton,” he called. “Get over here and show these guys how to use a stick.” I smiled back at him––my smile sincere, the first sincere one that had crossed my face all week. It was so nice to hear kind words from my old best friend.

I remembered the many afternoons I had played pool with Taylor. He was the one who had showed me how. It had taken a long time. Back then, the cue was longer than I was tall.

Was he drinking? Would he even speak to me if he wasn’t?

Who cared? I tried to suppress my negative thoughts and walked over, pressing my way in between the three guys standing next to him. I recognized them from my math class.