Page 11 of Tell Me Softly

Chapter Six

Thiago

I’d been watching her for some time. Neither she nor Taylor knew I was there. A part of me wished I was him just then, hugging her and feeling her body next to mine. Another part, much stronger and much darker, wanted to keep hating her. Hating her the same way I’d hated her for eight long years.

She saw me, and I could tell from her expression that she wished I wasn’t there, that I was invading her space.

She probably felt guilty, knowing all the harm she’d done to my brother and me.

Had he really forgotten it, forgotten the pain her family had caused us?

Did he not remember all those years when our mother could barely crawl out of bed? Had he forgotten how much we’d lost?

It kept crashing over me, harder and harder, like waves, that hatred in my heart, and I had to leave the room to keep from losing my shit.

I went to the kitchen, hoping to find something that would calm me down.

I was happy to see they had decent beer and not just the usual keg of Natural Light.

I grabbed a bottle, took a sip, and leaned back against the kitchen counter, watching the girls who couldn’t keep their eyes off of me.

One of them could easily have been my age.

She was tall and thin, her hair so blond it was almost white.

I was pretty sure she was on the cheerleading squad, and that meant she was one of Kam’s friends, which meant I didn’t want anything to do with her.

But what I wanted didn’t matter because as soon as I laid eyes on her, she started coming over.

“Hey,” she said. Yeah, she was definitely one of the cheerleaders. “You’re Thiago Di Bianco, right?”

“I am. What’s it to you?” I said, taking another sip. I was trying to be curt, but she didn’t care and went on talking like it was nothing.

“Your reputation precedes you. I’ve talked to girls who still remember you from when you were breaking hearts in sixth grade.

” Her approach caught my attention. I liked a girl who pushed back a little.

I eyed her up, trying to figure out what she was getting at.

Her smile was actually friendly, with white teeth and one canine slightly twisted.

With that sweet face, I couldn’t just blow her off, but I didn’t really know how to just be friends with a girl––I never had been, not since what had happened with Kami when I was a kid.

So instead, I turned to my old tactics, stepping closer to her and looking down.

That always made girls nervous. But they liked it too, and this girl was no exception.

I could see her subtly licking her lips.

“What’s your name?” I asked, setting my beer down on the counter.

“Amanda,” she whispered.

I smiled. I had her eating out of the palm of my hand.

I was about to kiss her when a hand landed on my shoulder and pulled me away. My reflexes were fast, and before I knew it, I had reversed our positions, and I was grabbing the guy’s arm. Not just any guy, though: a guy more or less my height, a guy whose blue eyes I knew well. Taylor.

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked, pushing my hand away.

My mind went blank. What was my brother asking me? What did he mean, what was I doing? Wasn’t it obvious?

“Thiago, you can’t,” he murmured. People were watching us, I saw now, and even if I couldn’t hear them over the music, they were talking too. I realized what I’d been about to do as Taylor continued, “Bro, she’s a student. If they find out…”

I turned away, cursing myself for being so stupid. Amanda was watching me, waiting for an explanation, clearly not amused with my brother.

“See you ’round, Amanda,” I said, ready to leave.

I’d been a moron for even coming. Even if I was just barely older than them, I couldn’t be hanging out with Carsville High students, and especially not drinking with them.

That alone was stupid, but if I actually made out with a girl here and someone told, the life I’d just begun to build here could immediately fall apart…

On my way to the door, I left my beer on the counter. Then the last person I wanted to see showed up in front of me before I could even react.

“I want my phone,” she said, her eyes glowing with intense anger.

I observed her for a moment. Seeing her so pissed off strangely cheered me up.

“Buy a new one,” I said, leaning against the doorway. Maybe I would stick around for a while.

“Thiago, don’t be an asshole. Just give it back.” She must not have realized I was devouring her with my eyes. It didn’t matter how much I resented her; I couldn’t help but stare.

“I see Little Miss Perfect learned herself some bad words,” I replied. “Be careful no one hears you.”

That pissed her off more, and she exhaled as she came closer to me.

“Thiago, I’m tired of your insults, and I’m tired of you treating me like something on the bottom of your shoe. Give me my phone and let’s just enjoy the party in peace.” She was speaking so softly only I could hear her.

Like something on the bottom of my shoe? She’d clearly misread me. Even with all those people around and the noisy music and the scent of sweat and beer, her lithe form, her voice, the soft fragrance of her hair and skin were all I could sense.

I didn’t react, so she took the lead, moving so fast that her hand was in my pants pocket before I realized it.

I shivered and shoved my hand in as fast as I could.

My own hand, big, with calluses, wrapped almost entirely around her small, elegant one.

She tried to resist me, and I pulled her so close that there were just inches between us.

“You’d better not touch me, Kamila,” I said.

Her brown eyes looked at me, offended.

“Since when do you call me that?” she asked. Somehow that seemed to have angered her more than me stealing her phone.

“Since when do I call you by your name?” I asked, toying with her again, curious as to what she would say.

She looked around to make sure no one was eavesdropping. When she turned back to me, that mask of hers had returned, but I thought I could still see a slight crack in it.

“If you don’t give it back, I can’t call my dad and tell him to come pick me up,” she admitted.

I gave her a quizzical look. “Aw, princess, you don’t have a chauffeur to drive you around?” I asked, provoking her.

“I don’t.”

“What about your car?”

She exhaled audibly, exasperated. “Thiago, let me go!” she said.

It wasn’t until then that I realized my hand was still squeezing hers.

I loosened my fingers and stepped away, trying to get hold of my thoughts.

Kam was having an effect on me. When she was close, all I could think about was having her closer, and that unnerved me––hadn’t I always hoped I’d never see her again?

Just then, someone else walked over.

“Are you all right, Kami?” a brown-haired kid asked. I didn’t remember him from school, but I did think I’d seen him somewhere.

“She’s fine, bro,” I answered, stepping between the two of them before I realized what I was doing. Was it an overreaction? Hell yes. What’s going on with you, Thiago? I asked myself.

“I wasn’t talking to you,” the guy said. Kam came forward to reply.

“I’m fine, Julian, thanks,” she said with a friendly smile. “Thiago was just telling me he’d give me a ride home.”

Now I was even more confused and irritated. Julian. Julian…that name rings a bell , I thought.

“If he can’t, I’d be happy to take you home,” Julian said. I didn’t like the way he was looking at her. I knew what was going through this head because it was the same thing that went through mine each time I laid eyes on her.

“I mean, if I’m not imposing…”

“I’m taking her,” I cut him off, grabbing Kam’s arm and pulling her away from him. Julian looked at her and then at me, and I saw something in his eyes I didn’t like.

“Haven’t we met before?” I asked him.

“I doubt it,” he said.

“Julian starts school on Monday,” Kam interjected, sounding calmer than she had in the minutes before.

“Good for him,” I said. “Let’s go.”

I pulled her toward the door, and she didn’t put up any resistance. I don’t know why, but my instincts told me I needed to get her away from that creep. Once we were outside, I let her go, and she repeated again that she wanted her phone back.

“Take me home, give me my phone, wah wah…why do you feel like you get to say who does what?”

“First of all, I can’t get home because you have my phone. Second, the phone’s mine. Third, I’m not ten anymore, and I’m not going to let you annoy me and pick on me the way you used to. I’m grown up now,” she said.

“Oh, you are, huh? Well, I sure wish you’d told me. Because you’re still acting like a little girl, and little girls aren’t allowed to have cell phones.”

“Dumbass,” she said, reaching for her phone, which I’d removed from my pocket and was holding up in the air. The closer she got, the harder it was for me to remember that I hated her. Her scent overwhelmed me, and the warmth was melting me inside.

“Give it to me, goddammit!”

Just then, someone behind me grabbed the phone out of my hand. We both turned to see who it was.

Taylor told me sternly, “Leave her alone, Thiago,” and passed the phone back to Kam, who smiled at him. Now I was annoyed again. This reminded me of when we were kids and they would take sides against me.

“Well, well, princess,” I said, “looks like your knight in shining armor’s shown up to rescue you.” Calmly, I took a cigarette out of the back pocket of my pants and lit it.

“Since when do you smoke?” Kam asked.

“There’s lots you don’t know about me,” I said, using the exact words she’d used with me a few days before.

“Give me one,” Taylor said and reached for my pack.

“You too?” Kam asked, looking disappointed. With me, she hadn’t been surprised, but then, Taylor had always been the good boy.

“I’ve got an idea,” Taylor said. “How about we all try to get along?”

All my suppressed anger, which I thought I’d managed to get away from that evening, returned with those simple words. How dare he just pretend what had happened with us was some kind of childish spat that time and distance should have made go away?

“I thought you hated her, little brother. What, y’all are supposed to be besties now?” I waited for my words to sink in. His eyes turned to the ground. Sullenly, he asked Kam, “Do you want a ride home or what?”

Kam looked back and forth between us. My words had made her feel guilty. But I didn’t care. She deserved it.

“I know I’m to blame,” Kam said, with an expression on her face too complicated for me to put into words. “But you’re trying to put too much responsibility on me. I was ten years old, dammit.”

I threw my cigarette butt on the ground and stomped it out.

“Your whole family was responsible, which is why I hate each and every one of you. Have a good night, now,” I said, trying to stay calm. I walked off, not even waving goodbye to my brother.

I’d had enough of Kam. Enough flirting, enough toying with her. I would never betray the person I loved most in this world. She deserved better.