Page 44 of Tell Me Softly

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Kami

I reached the yellow bridge between Carsville and Stockbridge and squeezed the hand brakes, almost skidding. I heard thunder again and looked up into the sky. It was going to rain, no doubt about it. A drop or two hit my face, wetting my cheeks, like tears squeezed out by the sky.

I remembered the balloons, the kids playing, the bounce house no one wanted to get out of, Taylor and me jumping inside it…

I remembered my parents chatting with the rest of the guests.

They’d done it up that birthday; the Di Biancos always did.

There were clowns, there was an artist painting the kids’ faces, there was a chocolate fountain you could dip donuts into—at least, it was supposed to be just donuts.

But the brothers and I were such chocoholics that we ended up dipping fruit and candy, then Cheetos, fries, olives, anything we could think of. It was gross, but we had a blast.

I had still been trying to pretend nothing had happened, as if I hadn’t said anything to my father the night before.

He had been so nice. He’d told me not to worry, that they’d always love me and no one would take me away from him, that our family was too strong to break apart.

And then he’d asked me to tell him what I’d seen and what Thiago had told me when we were up in the tree house.

And I did. I told him because I’d been frightened, because most people on the internet had said they’d rather know the truth than live a lie, and because, if they did get divorced, I wanted my father to fight for me and take me with him.

I told him because what kind of mother would cheat on her husband with the next-door neighbor?

I told him because I couldn’t keep carrying that weight.

Because every time I got in bed, I wanted to cry.

Because every time my father tried to fix things with my mother, all I could think was that it wasn’t worth it.

But I never thought of the consequences for the other family: for Thiago’s mother, for my family’s friendship with theirs. I didn’t think of Taylor, who didn’t even know what had happened.

My father just shrugged it off. I’d imagined he’d stalk out of the room like a wild beast—I thought it would be like the Third World War—but it wasn’t even close.

Now that I was older, I could understand that he hadn’t because he wanted to catch them at it.

My mother was sneaky and she was a liar, and my father knew that if there was no more proof than a ten-year-old girl’s word, any accusation he’d made would go nowhere.

My mother would have just made up excuses and been more careful in the future.

***

The rain started falling harder now, and I knew it was time to go back home.

The pain in my chest was dreadful, but I got on my bike and started riding.

It was later than I’d realized, and my bike didn’t have any lights or reflective stickers.

I was scared, especially when the cold crept into my bones and I realized I could hardly see.

I reached for my phone and remembered I was still being punished. No one would come to get me. I could only hope that the rain would let up, that I wouldn’t freeze or skid or get hit by a car.

I wiped the water off my face and prayed I’d get home safely. I was pedaling hard and my eyes were on the road, but the only thing in my mind was that party from long ago.

***

My mother and Travis had disappeared even before it was time to blow out the candles.

I saw my father stand up and walk off looking for them.

I had stopped playing, and there was a strange pause…

then the racket from inside the house reached everyone, including those of us sitting on the far edge of the lawn.

“You goddamn son of a bitch!”

I looked over at Thiago, who had been sticking a piece of chicken into the chocolate fountain but had stopped, trying to catch his mother’s eye.

Katia was on the ground just then, helping to paint the faces of the littler kids who had come to the party.

We heard more noise, glass breaking, and my mother shouting.

Someone turned off the music just as Thiago’s mother stood and looked at the house, pale as death.

“They’re going to kill each other! Somebody separate them!” one of the guests shouted.

Katia Di Bianco ran inside, but before she could get there, my father and Travis burst out, fists raised. My father’s clothes were torn. Travis was dressed just in his pants.

Katia froze, looking utterly lost, just as my mother hurried out.

Looking at Travis, I saw red streaks all over his neck and chest. Mom had picked a bad day to wear red lipstick. A bad day to cheat on her husband with the father of a little girl who was just turning four years old: Lucy, Taylor and Thiago’s little sister.

Thiago ran over to the men, trying to stop them. He was a child, but he was almost as tall as his father already, and he was brave enough to get in the middle, shouting, “Stop!” Two other men came over and pulled my father and Travis apart.

“You were supposed to be my friend!” Dad shouted, looking almost insane. “That’s my wife! And you…”

I realized his tranquility the night before was just for show. Everything was coming out now. In that moment, I felt somebody grab my hand. I looked over to see it was Taylor.

“Kami, what’s happening?” he asked, with tears welling in his eyes.

I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t.

They started fighting again. No one could stop them.

They destroyed everything in their path.

The cake made to look like a castle fell to the ground.

They knocked over the bounce house. The chocolate fountain was thrown on the grass alongside the table with the olives, the chips, and the chicken skewers.

Someone finally called the police.

The guests didn’t know what to do or say. And then everyone turned to Katia.

She seemed frozen until she heard the sirens. Lucy’s crying pierced the air, and she returned from her trance to face the humiliation, the deception, the shame…

“Where are my children?” she shouted.

My mother looked at her with sorrow. I felt bad for my mother for the first time in my life. Anne Hamilton had finally had a real feeling , I thought. She probably didn’t even know how to handle it.

They took Dad away in a cop car. I ran behind it crying, shouting for the police to stop.

The last thing I remember my father saying, with tears in his eyes, was, “It’s OK, honey.”

I’d never seen my father cry. It was chaos.

I remember Katia was screaming uncontrollably. “The keys,” she kept screaming. “Where the hell are the keys to my car?!”

Some of the mothers there tried to calm her down, but she pushed off anyone who dared approach her.

Lucy was sitting on the ground crying, and she didn’t stop even when her mother walked over, bent down, and picked her up. Katia took her keys from her purse and hit the unlock button.

“Thiago, Taylor!” she shouted to the boys. They ran over, Taylor crying, Thiago looking very grave.

I noticed Katia’s hands were shaking like mad and her tears were falling one after the other, leaving dark marks on the white asphalt.

Her car roared off, and with it departed life as we had known it up until then.

After that party, everything went to hell.

Everything.