Page 30 of Tell Me Softly

Chapter Eighteen

Taylor

We just stared at the principal with no idea what to say. He’d been pissed about the fight, but that was nothing compared to this. I thought he was going to lose his mind.

“This is unacceptable!” he shouted for the third time.

I glanced over at Kami and tried as hard as I could not to laugh. She was glowing red. I nodded. But I’d already said I was sorry and didn’t know what more I could do. So I repeated myself: “We’re sorry, sir. It won’t happen again. I promise.”

“I should expel you two,” he said, tapping his pen against his desk.

“But first, I’m going to talk to your parents.

At the least, you’re looking at another week of detention.

If I wasn’t worried about this having unfair consequences for your classmates, I’d be overjoyed to tell you both not to go to Falls Church this weekend.

But I’m serious: one more screwup and you’re out of here.

I’m not kidding. I’ve heard you say you want to go to Yale, Miss Hamilton, and Mr. Di Bianco, you told me you want to go to Harvard.

Well, I can promise you both can kiss those dreams goodbye if you mess up again. ”

Kami was terrified. I could sense it, but I didn’t want to look over at her. I ground my teeth and looked straight ahead. That was a low blow, him talking about where I wanted to go to college. I should never have said it, and I had to suppress the urge to tell him where he could stick his threats.

“Now get out,” the principal said, turning to a document he was working on and not even looking up at us.

I opened the door and let Kami through first. Once we were in the hall, the first thing she said was, “Harvard?” She stopped me, seemingly unable to believe it.

It kind of hurt. Was she doubting that I had what it took to study at an elite university? I counterattacked, “Yale?”

Kami shrugged. “I’ve wanted to go there for years. I’d never admit this aloud to most people, but I got the idea because I was such a fan of Gilmore Girls . Still, though, it’s a great school. Plus, my dad went there.”

“What do you want to study?” I asked as we headed in the direction of the cafeteria.

“Art.”

She always had liked to draw.

“I didn’t know you were still into it,” I said.

She nodded, but I wondered why she seemed so shy about it. I grabbed her hand and pulled her close before we entered the lunchroom, which was filled with the roar of voices. “Hey,” I told her, “I’m sorry for this. Detention. Getting you in trouble.”

She shook her head. “Don’t worry. Anyway, it’s my fault too.” She smiled timidly.

I remembered just then the soft skin of her thigh, and I could feel the blood rushing into my groin.

“What happened, though…”

“I know. It was a mistake.” She said this with such confidence that my mind warned me I should take two steps back.

“Was it?”

She looked back and forth, almost as if she were in a rush. “I’m not ready to have anything with a new person. I just broke up with Danny, and…”

“Hey, hey,” I interrupted her. “Take it easy, OK? It’s not like we’re talking about getting married or anything.” I tried to make it a joke, but it was hard to hide my disappointment. That only seemed to make her more uncomfortable, though. Why was it so hard to say the right thing?

“Let’s just think it over,” I said “Not move too fast, just try to have fun. As you know, that’s my specialty.”

She nodded and bit her lip, and I could see the doubt in her face.

“Come on, now,” I said, “don’t do that.” I grabbed her lip and tugged it. And that made me need her again, made me want to stick my tongue in her mouth again and convince her that what I’d said wasn’t true, that we did need to move fast, because…

“Hey, you!” I heard a voice behind me. “Were you born this big a fuckup or did you have to train for it?”

I looked back.

“Just what I need…”

Kami tensed up as my brother came over. The look in his eyes was so cruel, I’m surprised she didn’t fall dead on the spot. When he reached us, he slapped the back of my head so hard I saw stars.

“Dammit, Thiago!”

“What the hell. You got detention again?”

Kami stepped away from us.

“Yeah,” I said, trying to play it cool. “Apparently you’re not supposed to make out in class.

” I don’t know why I said it that way. I knew it was going to make things worse.

Way worse. But I was tired of how Thiago treated Kami, how he was always judging her.

And I was tired of seeing what happened to her whenever he came around.

When Thiago got in my face, I was scared for a moment. Then something seemed to click in his head, and he turned to her. He seemed unable to believe it. There was a coldness in his green eyes I’d never seen, at least not with me.

“When I thought you couldn’t sink any lower…”

Tears welled in Kami’s eyes, and I immediately saw red.

“Take that back,” I said, bumping my chest into him just before I pushed him.

I knew if we fought, he’d probably beat the shit out of me, but I didn’t care.

My brother wasn’t the type to trash-talk or roughhouse––if he hit a person, he’d put them on their ass.

Anyone who didn’t believe it should ask the people who’d tried to square off with him before.

“Or what? Or what, bitch? You’d better be glad you’re my little brother because otherwise…”

I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. I couldn’t screw up again. I couldn’t fight. Not at school, anyway.

“Stop it, Thiago,” Kami said, turning to my brother. “If you get in a fight, it’ll be way worse for you than it is for him. You’re on probation, and he’s a minor!”

“Yeah,” he said. “And I never would have gotten arrested and none of that other shit would have happened if you hadn’t come along and fucked my life up.” He looked like a lion ready to pounce on its prey. “You fucked up our lives. Mine, my mother’s, my brother’s. And don’t even get me started on––”

“Goddammit, that’s enough!” I pushed him as far as I could away from Kami. “Stop stirring up the damn past, Thiago.”

“You disgust me,” he said. He walked past me down the hall, bumping my shoulder.

I looked at Kami. She was totally shaken up. I immediately pulled her close and hugged her. It took her a moment to respond, but then she wrapped her arms around me.

“I’ll talk to him,” I said. “I promise you this will be the last time he says something like that.”

“I deserve it,” she said, and tears began to cloud my eyes.

“Shh,” I told her, stroking her hair. “Don’t cry, Kami. Please. My brother’s an idiot. You and I…”

“No,” she said, pushing me away. “We can’t, Taylor.

” She wiped her face with the back of her hand.

“Don’t you realize? I ruined your lives!

We can’t just pretend that never happened.

This is never going to work.” She pointed at herself and then at me.

“I can’t just get in arguments with your brother every day.

And I can’t keep living with this guilt. ”

“You’re not guilty of anything,” I said, slowly mouthing every word as I grabbed her cheeks.

“I am!” she shouted. “Stop acting like nothing happened, like I never…”

“It was an accident. And it’s time for all of us to move on from it.”

“Tell your brother that.”

“Enough, Kamila!” She was giving me a headache. “We’ve got to put this shit behind us. I’m tired of letting what happened govern my life, my mother’s life, Thiago’s life. He’s got to learn to move on.”

“I’m serious,” she said. “Please. From now on, you can talk to me about school, but otherwise…”

“I’m not going to let him come between us.”

“Taylor, come on.”

“You’re my best friend. You always have been, and that’s not going to change now. I’ve got to go, though. I need to get to physics.”

I walked around her and up the hall. But I promised myself nothing would take her away from me again. Not even my brother.