Page 37 of Tell Me Softly

Chapter Twenty-Three

Kami

It wasn’t long after the girls left that I went to Julian’s room. I knocked softly on the door. I could hear what sounded like a riot at the other end of the hall. And that told me Thiago must not have been very interested in what we were up to.

His torso was wiry and defined, with little freckles dotting his skin. It’s a shame you’re gay , I thought, but that was an awful thing to say. A shame for the girls, is what I meant. Any guy he got with would have the time of his life.

“I didn’t think you were coming,” he said with a grin. His brown eyes were glowing.

“I told you I would, didn’t I?”

He stepped aside to let me through. “You might have been the forgetful type. Or maybe you give in easily to peer pressure. After all, I bet your friends are having a blast down there at the other end of the motel.”

“Well, I hope you’re pleasantly surprised.” I walked in and saw two single beds—one covered in his stuff, the other empty. “You’re not sharing a room?” I asked. I felt bad that he’d have to stay there alone.

“I like hanging out by myself. Except for when it’s movie night with you. That’s obvious, right?”

I smiled and showed him Ellie’s packet of M it was supposed to be terrifying. When I mentioned it and he told me he hadn’t seen it, I remembered that it was on Netflix and told him to click on the icon.

“I don’t have an account,” he said, sounding sad.

“For real?”

He shook his head, seeming embarrassed.

“Your sister has literally seen every TV series on the planet. Every time I talk to her, she’s like did you see such-and-such on Prime, Hulu, Netflix, HBO…? Why don’t you just text her and get her password?”

Julian shrugged and walked over to the fridge. “To tell you the truth, my sister and I don’t really get along.”

I thought he wanted to talk a little more, maybe. It was almost as if he’d intuited that Kate had brought him up to me earlier.

“Why?” I asked, acting like I wasn’t paying much attention.

“Kate can sometimes…she can be a little cruel?” he said, fishing out two bottles of Coke.

Surprised, I asked him why.

“I think she’s jealous that her mom and I get along so well. Like, I’ve seen her start fights spontaneously just because Rachel and I were talking about books or art or whatever.”

“Are you serious? And you get along with her mom?”

“Of course I do; she practically raised me when I was a kid. I don’t know if you know this, but my mom was in and out of rehab constantly the first three years after I was born. She couldn’t take care of me, so I lived with Dad and his wife. And Kate too.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Kate acted like I stole her place. I mean, I get it in some ways. I needed attention. Having a mother who’s a drunk leaves a mark on you.

I had a really hard time sleeping—I was scared at night, I had bad dreams—so Dad used to come get me and take me to bed with him and Rachel.

I slept in their room for a long time because it was the only thing that made me feel safe. And Kate…”

“You think she felt pushed aside?” I asked.

“A part of me does, yeah. But there’s no way she remembers that. I think it got worse when she started getting older and her parents told her. You know Kate always needs to be…”

“The center of attention. Yeah, I know.” I finished his words as I remembered all those times I’d glimpsed her jealousy whenever I’d managed to do something better than her or gotten something she’d wished she could have. We were like rivals, but we always loved and respected each other.

It was strange to see the two sides of the story firsthand. But now I felt I understood them both better. I wished Kate hadn’t twisted certain details around, but that was like her.

“If you want to see the movie, we can use my password,” I said after a moment.

“Sure! Here, give me your Coke. I thought these were twist-offs, but they’re not. I think I’ve got a bottle opener in my toiletry bag.” He walked off to the bathroom.

When he was back, we lay down on the bed and I entered my Netflix password on the TV so we could watch the film.

We ate his stash of chips and chocolate and drank our Cokes.

The movie was hella scary. I even had to cover my eyes with my hands in a couple of scenes.

At one point, I flinched and buried my face in Julian’s chest. He wrapped his arm around me.

I felt good. Knowing that he liked boys made me relax around him.

I needed a friend like that. I’d had one in Taylor, but now it was clear it was something else.

As the film reached its second half, I started drifting off, I was so relaxed. My eyelids were heavy and I was yawning. At some point I fell asleep.

And I had nightmares.

***

The next morning, I opened my eyes, and for a moment I didn’t know where I was. What the…? Oh, yeah, Julian’s room , I thought, but if that was right, where the hell was Julian? I couldn’t believe I’d slept in like that. Why hadn’t he gotten me up?

I looked at the clock on the nightstand and nearly had a heart attack. Dammit!

I jumped up, put on my shoes, and went to my room to change. It was late; I had missed almost the entire morning practice. In my room, I found Ellie asleep too.

“Hey! Get up! Do you know what time it is?”

Ellie wrapped her pillow around her head.

“Shhh! Don’t yell,” she grunted.

“Ellie, Kate’s going to kill us. We need to get to practice!”

“Kate said we were ready, that we didn’t need to.”

What?

“We don’t need to train before a competition? You’re kidding, right?”

She barely moved and didn’t answer. I took off for Kate’s room. At least she was awake and opened the door, though she was still in her pajamas with a cup of coffee in her hand.

“What’s up?” she asked, letting me in.

“Kate, have you seen what time it is?”

“Uhh. Yeah.” She put her cup down and grabbed a hairband to pull back her hair.

She had a giant hickey on her neck.

“Marissa, get up!” I shouted, pulling back the covers. “Kate, come on! We need to practice!”

Kate scowled at me.

“Could you just relax?” she asked wearily. “We’ll do a quick run-through before the game. We’ve already practiced a million times anyway.”

“Kate, we need that pre-game practice, it’s what helps us to––”

“Drop it, Kami. You’re not the fucking captain anymore; can’t you get that through your head?”

I walked out and slammed the door. She had no idea how to run a squad.

An hour later, we finally made it to the gym, with just ninety minutes until the game. And we hadn’t even warmed up! My teammates had bags under their eyes and were barely talking to each other.

That’s why I’d always made sure no one got drunk the night before a game back when I was leading them!

We stretched out and did a run-through, and nobody could stop screwing things up. It was bad. We were nervous, and Kate was starting to freak out.

“What the hell is up with you guys?” she shouted after a totally uncoordinated routine.

I tried as hard as I could to bite my tongue. It was obvious what was up. Everyone was hungover!

“Again, dammit!” she screamed. We all looked back and forth. I knew it was pointless to say anything just then. But I would later, no question about it.

In the changing room, we put on our uniforms and did our hair and makeup. Everyone had to use extra base to cover up the bags under their eyes.

“What time did y’all go to bed yesterday?” I asked Ellie as she braided her hair.

“Like…four-thirty?” she said, a little embarrassed.

I couldn’t believe it.

As we emerged into the gym, everyone faked a smile, trying to pretend that they weren’t worried about blowing it.

It was the first time in ages I’d felt nervous before a competition.

Normally, I loved the adrenaline, the music, the raucous atmosphere.

I looked up in the stands and saw the guys ready to cheer us on.

They looked tired too, and Thiago, off by himself in one corner of the bleachers, was clearly furious.

I had butterflies in my stomach, but I needed to focus, so I turned away from him.

Kate was saying some bullshit about how we were the best and who knows what else. My blood was boiling.

Someone shouted into a megaphone for the first team to come out, and we all sat down to see who our competition was.

As soon as the music began to boom and their routine started, I knew we were doomed.