Page 39 of Tell Me Softly

Chapter Twenty-Five

Kami

One of the girls from the team texted me the whole night, so I was able to follow the game minute by minute.

And they won.

They won because they were prepared. Unlike us.

Just the thought of it made me furious. Kate had no idea how to lead the squad.

I got it: her dream was to be the captain, but it wasn’t just a title, it meant responsibility.

You couldn’t party the day before a competition. No matter how much you felt like it.

I never liked being mean, but if I had to, I could do it. And that only made the celebration sweeter when we finally got to go home with our trophies.

I was anxious to see the guys on the team, even for a breath of fresh air. But I stayed in my room. My head was killing me. I still couldn’t believe they’d just let me flop down on the floor like that. I was furious.

I heard everyone come back around seven. All the guys were shouting and clapping. They were so excited; I was sure you could hear them from miles away. Ellie opened the door a few seconds later.

“How are you?” she asked, worried about me, hanging her head.

“I’m fine.” I got up and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.

“You’re mad, aren’t you?” she asked, sitting down on the bed.

I didn’t have time to answer before there was knock at the door. When I went to open it, I found all the girls ready to pile in, with Kate standing at the front of all of them.

“Hey! How are you?” she asked. She looked serious, but I could tell she wasn’t worried at all.

She knew it had been her fault, but she couldn’t bring herself to admit it.

I understood she wasn’t alone—the rest of the girls had gotten drunk too—but she was their captain.

She needed to exert authority over them.

Whether she liked it or not, she needed to earn their respect, and she wasn’t capable of it.

Even I had lost the little respect I had for her when I saw that her stupidity had put my life in danger.

“I’m fine,” I said, letting her through. There were now ten of us packed into that tiny room.

“Where’s Nadia?” I asked.

“She’s coming back from the emergency room in an Uber.

I sent a couple of girls with her. They had to put her in one of those air cast things.

She’ll be able to cheerlead again, but not for a month,” Kate said.

I imagined Nadia must be just as angry as I was.

An uncomfortable silence spread through the room, until Kate finally broke it.

“Look, it’s not the end of the world, OK?

So we lost once. Who cares? It’s one competition!

We always win; we’ll win again. We could probably use a bit of humility for once, to help us understand what it’s like not to be on top.

” She spoke her words to everyone, but I knew she was talking to me, and I wasn’t about to let it slide.

“Kate, are you insinuating something?” I asked, trying to control my rage.

“I’m just saying this is like a learning experience. We’ve lost, which means we get to see things from the other side…”

“Oh, please!” I couldn’t restrain myself anymore. “Cut the shit, Kate. We lost because you needed to set an example, and you couldn’t. You didn’t have the discipline, and you didn’t want it bad enough.”

“What about you, then?” she screamed. “I suppose you’re just perfect!”

“Kate, no one said that,” Ellie interrupted her, trying to calm the waters.

“Fuck off! Don’t take her side,” Kate said loudly, turning to her.

“Everything was fine yesterday when you were chugging beer after beer. What was it you said then? Let me try and remember. Oh, yeah: Thank God Kami’s not here; she would have ruined the party.

Now that she’s not captain, the team can finally have a little fun. That was it, right?”

I glanced at Ellie, feeling totally betrayed.

“I didn’t say that,” she objected, but I could see the guilt in her eyes. “I was drunk, OK? Kami, I don’t…”

“Just drop it,” I said. “I’ll tell you all another thing too.

I could never have given less of a fuck about being a cheerleader.

I only did it because I liked being with you guys—being part of a team, competing, winning, celebrating together like we always did.

I decided not to be captain this year because I didn’t want everyone to think of me as a dictator, even if you were the ones trying to push me into it all the time.

I took a step back. I wanted to hand it off to Kate because I knew she’d been dreaming about it forever.

Some of y’all were mad at me; some of you were upset.

I didn’t know if it was more because I was leaving or because you didn’t like Kate.

But it doesn’t matter anymore because I quit. ”

I felt a relief I hadn’t felt in a long time. I realized I had too much to deal with to have to be worrying about this.

“No, Kami. You can’t quit,” Ellie said, looking terrified.

Marissa added, “The team won’t be the same. Don’t fight with each other. We can fix this, can’t we, Kate?”

I turned to look at Kate and saw her enraged, arms crossed in front of her chest.

“If she wants to go, that’s her business. I’m not stopping her. And honestly, she got something right. She is a dictator. I hadn’t realized it until she said it, and I’m sorry to put it so harshly, but…you can’t have two alphas leading one pack.”

I held her stare. I felt like this was about something more than just the squad, but it didn’t matter. I threw up my hands. “No worries, then. I don’t mind being a lone wolf.”

I walked through them out onto the balcony and shut the door, taking in a deep breath of fresh air. Behind me, I could hear whispers. I knew they were criticizing me. And I wasn’t going to just stand there and listen to it.

Tears came to my eyes. I didn’t understand why. I’d never even wanted to be anybody’s leader. I’d become captain because it was what they all wanted, and I’d let them drag me along. I always did that with everyone, and I never asked myself what it was I wanted.

“Hey,” I heard a voice say at the other end of the balcony. I looked up and saw Taylor approach with a worried expression. “I was on my way to your room to see how you were doing, but I guess you’re well enough to come out. What’s up, Kami? Why are you crying?”

I turned and buried my face in his chest. He wrapped his arms around me, and I felt better. Much better. Even if I went on crying the way I would have when I was ten.

“Come on…let’s go to my room,” he said, and I followed him. I didn’t even hesitate for a second.

“So, we just witnessed a coup, right? I’m assuming you pushed Kate out?”

I punched Taylor on the shoulder and chuckled. He laughed so loud I felt all the pressure in my chest dissolve.

“I don’t even want to be the captain. I never did …”

“Kami,” he interrupted me, looking me in the eye. “You’re not the kind of person who becomes a leader. You were born one. That’s a gift, and some people have it and others don’t. Look, I like Kate, as much as she might have fucked up today, but she can’t hold a candle to you.”

“Don’t say that,” I said, defending her reluctantly. But then I stopped myself. Why the hell should I be defending her? She was no one, she didn’t deserve it, and she was the one who had taken a friendship that had lasted for years and put it at risk trying to take my place.

“She’ll get over whatever’s happened and come crawling back to you asking for forgiveness,” he said, very sure of himself.

“You don’t know her, and it shows.”

As Taylor shrugged, I noticed he had a black eye, and I reached up to touch the bruise.

“What happened?” I asked.

“Someone elbowed me right when I was shooting a three-pointer. I still got it, though.” He grinned briefly before turning serious, pinning me with his eyes. I couldn’t say how many things I felt as he said, suddenly serious, “You told me we were supposed to talk.”

“I know…” I said softly.

“I waited for you all last night. I wanted to see you. Just you. Then I hear you were watching a movie with Julian? Why wouldn’t you watch a movie with me? Why aren’t you giving me a chance?”

I still had my hand on his cheek. Now I lowered it onto the bed between us where we were both sitting.

“Because with you, it wouldn’t have been possible to just watch a movie.”

With that, the atmosphere in the room changed. It got hotter, and there was something magical that seemed to fill it—a magic that only Taylor was capable of. Something at once calm, peaceful, and very warm.

“What would it have been, then?” he said, leaning over softly.

But before I could answer, his mouth was already touching the hollow of my neck. He missed me first, several times, brushing me with his nose and his lips, causing a powerful reaction instantaneously. Then his tongue came out, and those kisses grew much more intense.

“You’re right,” he admitted, “we wouldn’t have made it ten minutes into that movie.”

“Taylor…” I tried to stop him, but it was like trying to stop an oncoming freight train.

“Just let me taste you a little,” he said, almost begging me. “Just a little…” I didn’t have time to say yes before he kissed me on the lips. It wasn’t like that day we were in class. We were both alone now, and no one could stop us from doing what we wanted.

But did I want it?

My body seemed to. Taylor kissed so well, touched me so skillfully.

His hand was in my shorts, under my panties, and I said, “Taylor,” forcing the air into my lungs even though he was leaving me breathless.

“That’s right,” he said, “say my name. It drives me crazy.” And he slid a finger inside me.

I fell back on the bed, and he lay next to me.

His finger was jutting in and out, slowly at first, then faster.

He kissed my mouth, my neck, then went lower down, lifting my shirt with his free hand and nipping at my nipple.