Page 27 of Tell Me Softly

Chapter Sixteen

Thiago

The coaching job was a good opportunity, but I was worn out at the end of the day.

It wasn’t just the hours or even overseeing detention; it was all you were expected to do just to be a part of the team.

I was constantly having to play nice with people, helping out with this or that, and that didn’t exactly come naturally to me.

Beyond that, I had myself to deal with. The memories whose clutches I was struggling to escape.

Often, at home, I felt the walls closing in on me.

So much so that I started looking for my own place.

I didn’t care if it was a dump; I just needed to get away.

But I had to think about my mom. Leaving her alone as soon as we’d moved back didn’t strike me as the best idea.

She would understand and pretend it didn’t matter, but I knew moving back there hurt her just as much as it had hurt us.

I parked my car in the driveway––my bike was still out of commission––and walked toward the front door.

I didn’t realize there was someone there until she almost ran into me.

Kam froze, and my brain needed a moment to realize she was actually there, that she was coming out of my house, that she had been with my brother, my mother…

“What are you doing here?” I asked, rage bubbling up inside me.

I wasn’t in the mood for this shit. Not today.

Kam was on edge too. She frantically combed her fingers through her hair, trying to come up with something to say.

But before she could, I cut her off, trying not to look at her face, which brought up such confusing feelings for me.

“You know what? Never mind. I don’t care.

” I walked past her and slammed the door.

Once inside, I could hear my mother cooking in the kitchen and smell the onions in the pan frying in oil.

My brother was on his way upstairs, and when he turned back briefly to look at me, I saw something strange: flushed excitement giving way to disappointment.

So Kam had been with him. And he’d liked it.

Well, I wasn’t going to dance around the issue.

“What the hell are you up to?” I asked, unable to hold back.

I was surprised at the vehemence in my voice.

I told myself it was because of Kam, because she’d entered a place I swore I’d never let her, but I could tell there was something else happening to me.

I was jealous, even if I didn’t yet dare admit it.

Taylor turned around and squared off against me.

“This is my house too.” I hadn’t seen him so serious in a long time.

“You’re still a kid, you don’t make the rules here. If I see her here again…”

“You’ll what?” He walked down a step, puffing out his chest. I held my breath to keep myself from slapping him across the face. I’d never done that before, and even the thought that I’d like to was shocking to me.

“I like Kami. And I think she likes me too. And I’ll have her over here as often as I like. You’re stuck in the past, and it’s time for you to get over it so the rest of us can carry on with our goddamn lives.”

He walked past me and out the front door, slamming it just as I had on the way in.

I clenched and unclenched my fists, turned, asked myself what I was doing, what I thought would happen, whether I wanted a fight, whether I wanted to tell him off, but then I saw my mother—eyes sad—watching me from the kitchen.

“Thiago, you can’t keep avoiding it,” she said with…sorrow? “Ever since you were little boys, I knew this would end up happening. I just never knew which one of you it would be.”

What the hell?

“I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about,” I said, interrupting her and trying to control my mood. “But there’s one thing I know for sure. I can’t go on sharing a roof with someone who killed the one person I loved most in this world.”

My mother brought her hand to her heart. I thought she was about to cry, and I didn’t want to see it, so I ran up to my room and locked the door.