Page 56 of Sunrises & Salvation

ADAM

I push Hunter’s shirt up, bunching the material around his neck and up to his armpits.

I bite and lick my way down his body, marking him like I promised, while he pants loudly.

I was so dumb to not realize that he was feeling insecure over Danielle.

Danielle, whom I hardly think about anymore.

Not like I do Hunter. Nobody has ever consumed my every waking minute like him.

Hunter is the reason I wake up in the mornings.

All those times in therapy when we would discuss him, my therapist always tried to divert my attention to something else.

Trying to talk about the root of my problems, my parents fucking my life up or the distance I kept myself from everyone around me even before they died.

I’ve never had that struggle with Hunter, because he’s the answer.

I can be myself around him, and he’ll never judge me or love me any less, no matter how much I struggle.

And I will struggle. I just need him to be beside me to remind me that I have to stay alive, for no other reason than to be his.

“Adam,” he pants my name while I flick the bead of his nipple with my tongue. He arches his hips and his cloth-covered dick rubs against my stomach.

“What do you need, baby?” My hole clenches with the remembrance of last night, his dick inside me and then his mouth on me, licking and sucking until my dick was hard again.

I’ve never felt lust the way I do with him, wanting him to devour me whole so he can always have a part of me inside him.

It’s not sane, but our love story isn’t sane.

It’s messy, chaotic, heartbreaking, and absorbing.

I’m not just in love with him. I’m in awe of him, devoted to him in every way possible.

I want to build a shrine to show my dedication to him, my utmost willingness to do whatever it is that he needs done.

Making him happy every day. No matter how many times I fuck up, I want him to still choose me.

“I need you,” he says, reaching his arms out to grab me.

I don’t comply, though. Instead, I unbutton his shorts and pull them down his legs, brushing my hands against the coarse hairs coating his thighs.

His dick is resting, hard and throbbing, against his lower stomach.

A bead of precum leaks out of his tip and drops onto his skin.

With zero finesse, I raise on my knees and swallow his dick to the back of my throat.

He gasps, thrusting his hips up and forcing himself further in, until my eyes water and I fight the urge to gag.

Hunter threads his fingers through my hair, brushing the strands gently, so at odds with the way his hips shuttle his cock into my mouth.

The slurping sounds coming from me are loud in the quiet room, Hunter’s light moans the only sound they’re competing with.

“Fuck, love. You’re doing so good,” he praises me, and I grind my hips against the fabric of the sheets, trying to offer my dick a little bit of simulation. When I feel my release budding at the bottom of my balls, I stop, wanting to wait until he’s there as well.

“Adam. Adam. Adam. ” My name on his lips is a cacophony of syllables, begging and pleading.

I double down, taking him harder and faster until his dick pulses in my mouth, and with a loud groan, his release coats my mouth. I greedily swallow down every drop he gives me, grateful to have a piece of him inside me.

He flinches when I suck hard one last time to make sure I got everything. I push myself up and straddle his chest, staring down into his lust-drunk brown eyes and admiring how wrecked he looks. I did that.

With no preamble, I whip my dick out of my shorts and I jerk it in quick motions. The bite of pain from my dry palm is nothing compared to the immense pleasure that shoots through my body. I don’t take my eyes off him as I release onto his stomach.

My breaths are choppy, and I’m gulping air greedily while he looks up at me, smiling. I try to match him, with my mouth still partially open.

He opens his mouth to say something, and at the same time, his stomach rumbles loudly. Hunter’s face flushes a beautiful shade of pink, and he attempts to cover it with his hands. I grab them, pulling them away and holding them down beside his head.

“Hungry?” I tease, pressing a light kiss to the scar on his upper lip.

“Just a little bit,” he says shyly. I let go of his wrists, sitting back on my heels and pulling him up into a sitting position with his head right beneath mine.

Dinner with Kian, Trent, and Hunter is fine.

Kian and Hunter are talking about Kian’s newest modeling gig, and Trent sits beside me, too busy gawking at his boyfriend to listen to me tell him about the bookshelves I want to build for Hunter.

I have them planned out, and where I want to put them in my house.

But I’ll need a second pair of hands because I need them done fast for him.

Hunter still hasn’t been to my house, and before he comes, I want to make sure everything is perfect.

Cheryl and Daniel want to have a family dinner, and I offered to host after we get back from the cabin.

The past few times we’ve been over there for dinner, the conversation has been dull because they’re too busy just staring at me and Hunter interacting.

I think they’re secretly planning our wedding, and I wouldn’t be upset about it.

I watch Hunter laugh with Kian, his head tilted slightly back and showing off his Adam’s apple. A slight discolored bruise sits beautifully right underneath it, my mark against his tanned skin.

“Kian has a photoshoot in Florida next month. We’re going to spend a few days at the ocean if you and Hunter want to come,” Trent says, knocking his hand against mine where it sits on the table, holding my empty bottle of water.

“I think Hunter would like that. Which beach?” Trent explains the itinerary for Kian’s job, which I don’t really care about.

He finally tells me Orange Beach, and I make a mental note to look for a beach house to rent for the week.

Picturing Hunter in a bathing suit splashing in the ocean makes blood flow to my dick.

I take a sip from my bottle, forgetting that it’s empty. Hunter catches my eye, and I quickly put the bottle down, starting to push back from the table so I can get another one. Hunter shakes his head, taking a long swig from his cup filled with sweet tea, and passes it over to me.

My hand shakes, but I reach for it anyway.

I repeat the words my therapist taught me: I’m okay, nothing is going to hurt me.

The words don’t work as well as they should, and the condensation from the glass makes my grip slick when I grab the cup off the table.

Hunter gives me an encouraging smile, and I swallow against the nausea building inside of me.

Hunter isn’t going to hurt me, he doesn’t want to hurt me. That’s why he drank it first, to show me it was okay. I lift the glass to my mouth, feeling the cool rim of the cup press against my bottom lip.

I open my mouth, letting the sweet liquid enter my mouth. My throat closes, rejecting the drink, so it just sits on my tongue. I inhale shakily. Hunter nods, and my body relaxes enough to let some of the tea pass down my throat.

I did it. I feel triumphant, facing one of my strongest fears.

And the only reason I was able to was because of the man sitting across from me.

My smile is grateful, and he reaches for the glass.

He takes a drink and passes it back to me.

The second time is easier. We keep exchanging it until the glass is empty and our food has disappeared from our plates.

“I’m exhausted,” Kian states, pushing back from the table and massaging his flat belly. He and Trent share a heated look, and I have to turn my head, feeling like I’m intruding on their moment.

“I’m making crêpes for breakfast tomorrow, so you both better be up in time for that or there won’t be any left. Adam is a gremlin when it comes to those,” Hunter says, scooting his chair and standing up while Kian follows him.

Kian walks toward Trent, grabbing his hand and pulling him to stand up.

Trent pushes a loose curl back from Kian’s forehead.

Then he looks at me, a friendly smile on his mouth, and my lips quirk upward.

Who would have thought we would be here, sharing these memories with our boyfriends?

Not me, but I don’t regret one minute of it.

How can I when get to see Hunter in his element, taking care and enjoying his time with friends? The smile on his face is joyful.

When it’s just me and Hunter in the kitchen, he stands on the other side of the island.

His head is cocked to the side while he stares at me.

A hot flush breaks out across my skin and my face heats.

Hunter’s laugh is happy as he walks over to me, and he maneuvers his way onto my lap, hips moving against mine while he gets comfortable.

He lets out a pleased sound when he finally gets situated, his back pressed against the table and his legs on either side of mine.

I lean forward and press a kiss against his top lip, tracing my lips gently against the raised skin of his scar.

I fight back the overwhelming emotions trying to drown me.

Love, appreciation, adoration. All for this man sitting in my lap.

I’m not sure if he can grasp how much he means to me.

Sometimes I struggle with giving him the flowery words he deserves, but if I died tomorrow, I hope he knows that more than anything, he’s the only reason I have ever lived.

To love and be loved by him has been my life’s greatest accomplishment.

“I love you,” I tell him softly, tracing his face with my fingers. “So fucking much.” My voice cracks on the last syllable, and Hunter grabs my face in his hands. Cupping my cheeks, he leans in and presses a kiss to my forehead.

“I love you, too, Adam.” I wish he could say it’s always been me. I wish that I wouldn’t have fucked up all those years ago because we could have been together this whole time. But life doesn’t work that way, and I wasn’t deserving of him then.

“I want you to know—” I clear my throat, my heart aching inside my chest. “I want you to know how much I love you. I would do anything for you. I would steal the sun for you if that’s what you wanted.”

“Are you about to croak? Is that why you’re acting like this?” His forehead creases in concern. I force out a laugh I don’t feel.

“No, I’m not dying. I just need you to know that I love you.”

“And I love you, and you’re stuck with me whether you like it or not.”

I nuzzle my face into the skin between his neck and collarbone, breathing in his honey and coconut smell.

“You’re my home, Collins. Wherever you go, or whatever you do, I’ll be beside you through it all.”