Page 13 of Sunrises & Salvation
HUNTER
D anielle has been spending every day after class hanging out with me. At first, I thought it was going to be awkward, or that our friendship would fizzle out. But that hasn’t been the case. As much as we’re different, we’re the same on the inside.
We both like listening to podcasts, and we started listening to one together.
We had to compromise because I prefer soothing and educational ones, and she likes the chaotic ones where it sounds like the host is rambling for a full hour.
We’re listening to a crime one, educational for me, and one of the hosts is a yapper. So it works out well for both of us.
Studying has been minimal this week while I’ve been working on this order of bookmarks.
It’s for an event that a local library is putting on, and they want the bookmarks to be simple yet artfully designed.
Danielle has been giving me a lot of feedback that I’m thankful for.
She’s honest, but she doesn’t purposefully try to put me or my ideas down, instead, she tries to find ways to enhance them.
My mom called me to confirm that yes, I am coming home tomorrow and that I need Dad to pick me up, and Danielle was quick to butt in.
“I’ll take you home,” she whisper-yells loud enough that my mom asks, “Who’s that?”
“No one, Mom. Can I call you right back?” My mom agrees, and we say our goodbyes. Danielle is bouncing on my bed, her face lit up in excitement.
“Why are you going home? Isn’t it a little early in the school year? They normally recommend freshmen don’t go home at all the first semester because they’re more likely to drop out.” I put my phone back on the charger on my desk and turn toward her.
“If you must know?—”
“I must.”
“Anyway. It’s my birthday. Tomorrow. That’s why I’m going home.” She squeals, loud enough that my ears ring.
“I am definitely going home with you. What are we going to do to celebrate? Go out, get drunk, snort a line of coke off someone’s ass?” I snort, and her eyes crinkle at the corners in amusement.
“As fun as that sounds, and I’m sure it would be so much fun, no.
I’m going to go home, eat my mom’s chocolate chip cookies, and watch sad movies until I fall asleep on the couch.
What I do every year.” And every year it’s always just been me and my parents, and I’m not sure how I feel about adding someone else to the mix.
“Which sad movies? I love A Walk to Remember , but I think any Nicholas Sparks movie will do.”
“Why do you want to go home with me?” I ask her, curiosity winning out when I know I should be thankful to even have a friend who wants to spend time with me.
Memories of birthday parties when no one showed up flash across my mind, and I got to the point that I didn’t talk about my birthday.
It was just another day, because I was tired of getting my hopes up for no one to show.
The crushing disappointment that I felt year after year still weighs me down.
The only things I still allow are chocolate chip cookies and my parents telling me happy birthday.
That is more for them than me, because they love celebrating my birthday.
They used to always say my being born was the best moment of their lives.
It’s all so confusing to me, because they constantly show me this love and support, and no matter how hard I try, I never feel like I’m enough. I feel undeserving of their love and attention, and I’ve wondered too often if their lives would be better off without me in them at all.
Those are selfish thoughts, though, because I know my mom would blame herself. And I don’t want that. I want her to know that if I decided to do anything, it was never because of her, but the only reason I was able to stay around for so long was because of her and Dad’s love for me.
“Because we’re friends, and friends celebrate each other’s birthdays.
Don’t worry, mine’s coming up next month and we’re throwing a huge pool party at my mom’s house.
Hot dudes, for you of course, drinks, snacks.
No drugs though, I don’t want that going on my record when I’m trying to get into med school.
” She stands up, steepling her hands in front of her while she paces my room.
Thank God my roommate isn’t here right now; he’s been strangely absent, but I’m not going to complain.
I haven’t had to worry about encroaching on his territory because of the fact that Danielle has been here.
I’m sure if he had gotten a whiff of a girl in here, he would be worse than a dog after a bone.
“That’s not what my birthday is going to be, so if you need to stay here and study, we can go out to dinner or something when I get back.” A part of me is scared to let her come home and see the real me. The weird kid who’s never fit in with anyone, no matter how hard he tries.
“No, no, no. No. Absolutely not, I’m going to go to my dorm and pack, and we’ll leave tonight.” I gawk at her.
“Tonight? It’s a three-hour drive and it’s already”—I check the clock on my nightstand—“five o’clock. By the time we get packed and leave, it will be closer to six. Then we won’t get there until nine.”
She whistles. “Wow, it looks like you’re good at counting. But you’re not good at negotiating. Pack your stuff, and after I get packed, we’ll run to the store to get snacks for the road trip.”
My phone starts ringing, and I know it’s my mom calling me back, wondering what the heck is going on and who could be in my dorm room when I haven’t told her that I made a friend. I’m not sure if I was trying to avoid getting her hopes up, or mine.
I answer my phone, holding the screen up to my ear while keeping my eyes on Danielle’s. “Hey, Mom, do you care if I bring someone home for the weekend?”
With my bags packed, we head out. I leave a note behind on the whiteboard on the door to our room saying gone for the weekend -H. Not that my roommate cares, but in case anything happens, I don’t want them to think that I’m in the room.
Walking down the hallway, everyone’s doors are adorned with their names and different decorations. Sorority and fraternity letters, sports decals, stuff relevant to majors. It’s all so… inviting.
That’s what I need, I need to find things I have in common with other people. It should be easy.
“Make sure you pack comfortable clothes,” I tell Danielle when we walk out of the building, hit with the warm summer air.
The sun is starting to lower, and pretty shades of red and orange are coloring the sky.
Taking out my phone, I snap a quick picture, knowing that the picture won’t live up to truly experiencing it.
But maybe the picture can hold the memory anyway.
“For what?”
“There’s a trail behind my house that leads to a small pond.
It’s not too far of a walk, but the weeds are high and there’s chiggers.
” The path that I used to walk after school to avoid going directly home and having to wait by myself in the silence until my parents got home.
The pond is filled with fish, and I spent way too many hours watching them cut through the water while I read my book in the shade under the trees.
In the colder months, I would prepare a blanket and a flashlight.
The cold ground was brutal, but being caught out in the woods when the sun was setting was disorienting, no matter how many times I walked it.
One wrong turn, and it feels like you’re transported into an alternate universe where every tree and blade of grass looks the same, and you can’t find your way out.
“Sounds cool.” Her phone buzzes in her pocket. “Ugh—hold on. It’s probably my group chat.” I nod, walking beside her while she types away.
“Do you care if we invite someone else? He’s cool.” My body tenses. Uncertainty warring with excitement inside of me.
“Uhm, who is it?” I grab her arm to pull her out of the way of other people on the sidewalk, mouthing sorry to them while her attention is still focused downward at her screen.
“My boyfriend,” she replies nonchalantly.
“Boyfriend? And he doesn’t care that you’re going home for the weekend with another guy?” I mean I’m not a threat… But that’s not the point. I’m still a guy, a guy she’s known for a week. And she hasn’t once mentioned a boyfriend.
“We’re not that kind of boyfriend-girlfriend.
It’s more like…” She pauses, pursing her lips in concentration.
“We’re friends, but we have to be together.
” That makes absolutely no sense, but the pleading look on her face tells me she doesn’t want to talk about it, so I’m not going to push her.
But now I have more questions than I do answers.
“Yeah, he can come. My parents won’t care.” In fact, I bet they’ll be ecstatic to know that I’m bringing people home.
“Heck yeah, you won’t regret this.”
After packing her bags, multiple because she would rather be overprepared rather than under, we make our way to her boyfriend’s dorm room.
My duffel is thrown on my shoulder, and I’m dragging a roller bag behind me with a smaller toiletry bag on top as Danielle fills me in on everything I should know about her boyfriend. Just so we can skip over the awkward first times.
I appreciate it more than she knows.
So far, all I know is that he’s 6’0”, rich, loves true crime and rock music, is studying business, and can be an asshole. Like what kind of description is that?
“You just have to get to know him first. I’m not sure how rude he’s going to be, but when he feels out of control, he gets a little crabby.” Let’s add control freak to the list as well.
“I’m sure it will all be fine.” Approaching the building, I have a minor freak out, trying to gulp in deep breaths and not outwardly show my panic. The last time I was here was embarrassing, and what would make this worse is running into him again.
I can’t blame him for how he acted, but I wish he could see that all I wanted to do was be helpful.
We get in the elevator, and Danielle presses the button for the third floor. Just a coincidence. It’s just a coincidence.
The bell dings, and the doors open all too quickly. Danielle leads the way down the hall, and every step is another letter on my death note.
When she knocks on his door, I can’t control my panic anymore.
“I’m sorry, but he can’t come,” I blurt out, feeling beads of sweat against my hairline.
“What? Why? He’s driving, so we don’t have to pay for anything. He’ll even stop to buy snacks and drinks along the way, too; he hates being cramped in the car for too long.” She shrugs, unbothered.
“No, he can’t come. Danielle—” I pause, because…
“We had met when I was moving in, but afterward we ran into each other again at a café, he was studying and I started complaining about one of my classes, and he offered to let me borrow his notes. But he ended up freaking out on me and he kicked me out of his room. I feel so awkward right now, and I’m sure it’ll be even more awkward for him.
” I cringe, tweaking reality a little bit so she doesn’t know the whole truth about how much of a loser I really am.
But how the heck was I supposed to know he was her boyfriend?
I’m just the weird kid that people sometimes tolerate but most of the time ignore.
I didn’t expect to make friends with her, let alone make an enemy out of her boyfriend.
I didn’t know how to react when I went to his dorm room, but I do know that it wasn’t very nice of him to treat me like that.
“What?” she hisses, glaring at the closed door in front of us. “Adam did that?”
“Well, I didn’t know it was an important piece of information to share at the time. I didn’t realize you knew each other.” Danielle pushes the door open, holding it wide so I can walk in behind her. I stand with my feet planted, shoulder width apart. Refusing to budge.
“Come on, we’ll get this all cleared up in no time. I’ll even make him buy you a birthday present.”
“That’s really not…” She lets go of the door, and I watch as it slowly and dramatically closes. At the last second, I grab it and open it wide enough for me to be able to pass through. “Really the point,” I finish my sentence under my breath.
Danielle quickly turns, and our faces are close enough for our noses to touch.
“Listen to me, and listen good, Hunter. You are my friend. You are stuck with me. So by default, Adam is your friend too. If he’s rude, mean, an asshole, anything, you tell me.
Okay? Because I don’t give a shit about hurting his feelings, but I don’t want him to hurt yours.
” It feels a lot like pity, but it feels like reassurance as well.
And maybe that’s what I needed. Someone to reassure me that my feelings matter, and they want to be my friend and stand beside me, even when the rest of the world might not understand.
A figure appears out of the bedroom; Danielle turns her head and smiles that devious smile. I follow suit, and when my eyes catch his, my mind goes blank.
No one has any business looking as good as he does, even in casual wear.
A screen-printed T-shirt with a popular rock band on the front.
I’ve heard a few of their songs, mostly from playlists on Spotify.
The deep tones and loud lyrics are so different from what I expected from him.
A pair of light gray joggers covers his thighs, subtly showing off the strong muscles.
And I need to quit looking because I’m making this weird. I can’t help it, though, he’s hot.
His face is perfectly proportionate, and his dark hair is neatly styled.
I wonder if it’s soft. It looks soft. I’ve been thinking about his blue eyes more than I should, especially now that I know his girlfriend is my one and only friend.
His pouty pink lips are slightly opened, showing off a hint of his pearly white teeth.
This is going to be a long weekend.