Page 31 of Sunrises & Salvation

ADAM

M y number one regret is letting Thomas come on this trip. I know I have no right dictating who can and cannot come, but fuck. He’s pissing me off.

He was up Hunter’s ass the whole car ride here. And now that we’re all in the backyard, he’s taken up residence in one of the wooden deck chairs, with Hunter balanced perfectly in his lap. Hunter’s face is flushed, and his smile is shy when he looks over his shoulder to glance at Thomas.

My blood boils at the sight.

Hunter is mine.

Danielle is sitting beside me, roasting a marshmallow over the fire while she talks about her upcoming exams. I try to listen and give my advice, but it’s hard when my attention is all on my man sitting in someone else’s lap.

“What do you think, Adam?” Danielle asks, and I take my glare off the happy couple to look at my girlfriend.

“About what?” I ask, cocking my head and trying to figure out what we were talking about.

“Ski trip, the first week of December. I was just telling Hunter about it, and he said he’s never been skiing.

Isn’t that crazy?” I look around, gazing at the tree line surrounding Hunter’s parents’ house.

It’s not really crazy. The weather here is too hot, so you would have to travel out of state for anything snow-related.

Colorado and Arizona are the closest states to go, and from the stories that Hunter has told me, none of them have included extreme sports.

“Yeah, it is crazy.” I hear Hunter huff and Thomas chuckle in amusement. “I wasn’t being funny,” I snap, and a silence drops over us. The sizzle of the fire and the insects chirping keep me from going crazy in the silence.

A firefly lights up in front of Hunter, and he gasps, effectively ruining my bad mood. I watch in amazement as he extends his hand, palm out, and the firefly lands on his hand.

“Look,” he says, his voice full of wonder, and I’m entranced. Watching the flicker of the bug, we all hold our breath until it takes flight again.

Hunter wipes his hand against his pants and chuckles lowly.

“So, ski trip?” Danielle asks, breaking the moment and taking my eyes off Hunter.

“Let me call Mr. Peterson and see if he can get us a room booked.” The thought of calling that man makes a disgusted shiver wrack through my body, but I’m willing to do it to make sure Hunter has the best time.

And as much as I hate to admit it, Mr. Peterson has connections to the most luxurious resorts.

Danielle knows how much I loathe the man, as does she. She opens her mouth to argue, but I shake my head, ending the conversation.

She pops the burnt marshmallow into her mouth, gasping when the hot, sweet treat burns her. She fans her mouth dramatically, and Hunter offers her the cup of iced water he brought outside with him after we finished our pizza.

“Thanks,” she graciously says, swallowing down the water in large gulps until the cup is empty.

“I’ll go get you a refill.” I extend my hand to her, and she places the cup in it.

I hold it tightly, not wanting to have a redo of earlier today.

I’m still so fucking embarrassed that happened. I can’t believe my mind decided that moment to flash back to the last time I saw my parents and replay every detail in my mind. My body frozen in terror and shaking with too many emotions to name.

I thought I had moved past the flashbacks, only resorting to acknowledging them by refusing to drink anything not out of a bottle.

But of course, I had to show Hunter one of my many weaknesses.

Except, he didn’t make it feel like a weakness.

He took care of me and soothed me even when he didn’t understand what was going on.

Walking in and closing the door behind me, I’m transported to a silent world.

The dim light over the sink provides a small guide to where I need to go.

The house creaks around me, and I welcome the noise.

The walls are lined with family pictures, leading to a well-loved kitchen table and a place where love has bled into the walls and keeps the happy memories available for anyone to feel as soon as they set foot in here.

I imagine Hunter, with his bright smile and loving parents, and the vision makes my heart warm. Thoughts of us one day, maybe, having this same effect on our kids’ friends.

Kissing on the couch while watching movies, dancing in the dim kitchen lighting, nights spent with hushed whispers. I ache for it.

I fill Hunter’s cup with water, staring at the clear liquid, taunting me to take a sip. I want to, the need to prove that I can control my surroundings and my past can’t hurt me anymore.

I bring the cup to my mouth, ignoring the slight droplets that splash over the side from how hard I’m shaking.

It’s fine. I’m not going to be hurt from one small sip of water. It’s no different than something from a bottle. Except when I hear the crack of the lid on the bottle, I’ll know it hasn’t been tampered with.

The cool crystal touches my bottom lip, and I inhale deeply through my nose. Breathing through the panic.

“Hey.” Hunter’s voice stuns me, and I spill water down the front of my shirt.

“Shit,” I hiss, setting the glass on the counter and whirling around to see Hunter staring at me, his brown eyes twinkling in the light.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he says, rubbing his hands up my chest and pulling my shirt away from my skin.

“You didn’t,” I lie through my teeth.

“Good.” Simple. Easy.

“I told them that I wasn’t feeling well, so I was going to lie down.

They were talking about their o-chem lab again.

” We haven’t discussed the sleeping arrangement.

The couch folds out into a bed that Hunter and I shared last time, and I wouldn’t mind doing it again.

The past few nights he’s been spending at my dorm room have been the best nights.

Fewer nightmares, and I’m sleeping fully through the night.

It’s changed my whole outlook on life when I’m not permanently tired.

His presence alone soothes me like no other.

The problem is Thomas. There’s a loveseat that he could sleep peacefully on, but I’m sure that we’ll run into rebuttals for why he and Hunter should share a bed. Not on my fucking watch.

“What did they say?” I ask, salivating at the thought of getting him alone, if even for a few minutes. Earlier doesn’t count because I was on the edge of a cliff, grasping for him, and not fully able to appreciate him.

“They waved me off.” He shrugs, and I look at the abandoned water glass on the counter.

“Take that outside to Danielle and then come inside.” Hunter has done a one-eighty since he agreed, without words, to give me a chance.

I’m just waiting patiently for him to get rid of Thomas.

No matter how much I hate to admit that I now know how he felt when I told him I would have to hide him away.

He’s been putting it off because he doesn’t want to do it right before Thomas has a test; he doesn’t want to hurt him. I understand that college is hard enough on its own, but to be broken up with right before midterms is rough. Not that I would know, I could only imagine.

“What should I say?” My mind is on one thing, and if I go out there now, there’s no telling what I’m going to say. I still need to talk to Danielle about me and Hunter as well. It’s all a cluster fuck, and I cannot be trusted with my own mouth right now.

“Just tell them you ran into me, and you’re going to watch a documentary or something while I fall asleep.”

I nod, pressing a kiss to the scar on his upper lip, and take the water outside to Danielle before I lose my momentum.

They don’t even notice when I set the cup beside Danielle or fumble my way through my excuse to stay inside. They’re too focused on their discussion of retrosynthetic analysis.

Hunter is lying on the couch, a throw blanket covering his body and tucked under his chin. I don’t hesitate, I slide in front of him, tucking my back to his chest. He covers me with the blanket, holding me tightly to him.

I exhale deeply, loving the feel of us in our own little bubble.

“What documentary do you want to watch?” he whispers into my ear, pressing a kiss to the shell, and I shiver.

“I don’t think I want to watch a documentary,” I murmur, rubbing my ass against his crotch, feeling his hardness.

“What do you want to watch?”

I turn over until our faces are pressed closely together. I run my nose against his, and then across his cheek. Pressing a kiss to the warm skin, I nuzzle my body closer to his. He wraps his arms around my back and I mirror him, clutching his back in my palms.

“Can we just lie like this? Just for a little while?” Hunter brings out a softer side of me, one I didn’t know existed. One that wants to be comforted by him and him only.

“Yeah, we can.” He kisses me, a slow press of our lips together.

We have all the time in the world for deep, sensual kisses.

This is different, and the slow, measured movement brings tears to my eyes.

He’s not rushing me or trying to change me into something I’m not. He’s happy with me, just as I am.

“My nanny took me to an art exhibit once,” I murmur quietly when our lips part.

“How was it?”

“Boring.”

Hunter laughs, his chest rumbling against mine.

“I don’t think your art is boring, though. You’re so much better than those people.”

He’s quiet for so long, I think he’s actually fallen asleep.

“I think I want to open a bookstore. I mean, I want to do editing or something like that, too, that’s why I’m getting my degree, but I think owning a bookstore would be fun.”

I could picture him there, standing behind the counter and welcoming everyone in with a wide smile. His helpful nature and love for books would come through with every interaction.

“You would be good at it. You don’t want to do anything with your art?”

“No, that’s just for fun. If it became something more, I worry I would start to resent it.

I don’t ever want to feel like that.” We fall into silence, but not the uncomfortable kind.

The kind that happens when you’re truly contemplating the person you’re with, admiring their traits and their characteristics.

“Whatever you do, you’ll be good at,” I tell him sincerely.

“Thanks,” he whispers, his words muffled because his lips are pressed against my hair.

“Instead of watching a documentary, want to start a TV show with me?” Am I needy for wanting to do that?

Because it’s not that I’m actually interested in a show, especially when we’re lying like this.

But if we start a show together, that’s guaranteed time for us to spend together. At least in my fucked-up mind.

“What were you thinking?”

The longest show that has been streaming for decades, and every episode is at least an hour long?

“I’ll let you pick.”

Hunter scrolls through the various streaming services his parents have, checking the reviews and ratings before he lands on a sitcom.

“ The Office ?” I say, watching the opening credits.

“I’ve never seen it, but a lot of people like it and it’s really popular. What better time than now to be like everyone else?”

One episode bleeds into two, and then three. When we hear the back door open, Hunter quickly pauses the show, and I rearrange myself on the other end of the couch. Our legs are pressed together, and he rubs his foot along my calf as Danielle and Thomas creep in from the back.

I catch Danielle’s eye, and she blows me a kiss as she walks into Hunter’s bedroom. Thomas walks into the living room, eyeing me and Hunter.

I whisper under my breath, “There’s more blankets in the hall closet if you need them.” I point at the small door to the left of the hallway that Hunter left partially open in case anyone needed a blanket in the middle of the night. What a good little host.

Thomas nods and grabs one, making himself comfortable on the loveseat. I have to hold myself back from the devious grin that wants to break out.

Checkmate, motherfucker. Hunter is mine.