Page 26 of Sunrises & Salvation

HUNTER

T homas holds the door of his car open and offers his hand to help me out.

It’s a nice gesture, and I should be wowed by his gentlemanly behavior.

Instead, I’ve spent the last thirty minutes since he picked me up in the parking lot of my dorm fixating on the fact that he’s not who I want to be on a date with.

The restaurant is fine. The hostess leads us to our seats, and Thomas pulls mine out for me and pushes me in before taking his own seat. The waitress approaches our table, asking for our drinks.

“Water, please.” I smile at her, and Thomas orders the same. When she leaves, I silently scan the menu. Who would have thought that deliberating between pasta dishes was so exciting?

“Danielle told me you’re studying English lit, that’s cool.”

“Yeah, I guess I won’t know if that’s really what I want to do until I get into my upper classes.

But it’s been fun so far.” As fun as basic intro classes can be.

Which has been honestly more boring than I anticipated.

My days consist of going to class, coming back to my dorm to work on art for my bookmarks, or studying with Danielle.

The only benefit is my roommate has been laying off on his bullcrap lately, so I haven’t been kicked out of my room since that night I slept in the lounge.

“What classes are you taking now?” I list them all off, ticking my fingers as I go to keep track.

“Intro to drawing? What is that?”

“It’s an elective, I like to draw and stuff in my free time, and I have a small side business that requires me to be artsy sometimes. It’s nice, though, because I can use my skills from that for inspiration for my bookmarks.”

“You make bookmarks? Can I see?” His face lights up, and I feel a smile take over my face at his interest. The only person who’s shown interest in my bookmark business is Danielle. My parents support me, but I don’t think they realize how much time and creativity actually goes into my work.

“Yeah.” I pull out my phone and swipe open my photo album full of past projects and new projects I’m hoping to upload soon. Thomas takes his time, politely praising the ones he likes and asking questions about the more abstract ones.

“You’re really talented,” Thomas says, handing back my phone.

My face flushes under the compliment, and I preen.

I take pride in my work, and it makes me feel good when other people notice and appreciate my hard work.

It might not make sense to everyone, but I enjoy it.

So I’ll keep on with it until no one buys them anymore.

“Do you know what you want to eat?” Thomas asks, looking at me over the top of his menu.

“I’m not sure.”

“Do you want me to order for us?”

I hesitate, because do I trust Thomas enough to order food for me? What if I hate it, and he’s offended? Then this whole date will be awkward. But it would get me out of here quicker, and I am supposed to meet Adam after Danielle, Brittany, and Zoey leave.

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

What I didn’t expect was for him to order multiple items. Plates of different pastas, appetizers, and bread line our table. My stomach rumbles appreciatively while my gaze tracks over the food, wondering what I’m going to try first.

Thomas prepares a plate and hands it to me. Each section is separated so it doesn’t touch. Small, bite-size servings of pasta are carefully placed into piles. Tortellini with alla panna sauce, angel hair pasta with oil and herbs, and lasagna.

I moan around each bite, soaking in the exquisite flavor of each dish. Thomas smiles at me while he twirls the angel hair pasta around his fork.

Our conversation is light while we eat, too focused on the delicious food in front of us to truly get into any deeper subjects.

But for a first date, it’s amazing. Now the bar will be high for all my other dates.

Thomas makes me feel so calm, not pressured to do or say anything while we enjoy the night.

We finish our date with dessert, a fancy piece of chocolate cake.

“Wait!” Thomas says while I reach for the fork waiting on the edge of the plate.

He produces two candles and a lighter from his pocket.

He places a one and a nine into the thick chocolate icing, adjusting them so they won’t slide off, and lights them.

“Make a wish, Hunter,” he says, and I close my eyes, taking in a deep breath and thinking hard about what I want more than anything in life, and I blow the candles out.

Thomas makes an over-exaggerated show of feeding me the first bite. When he misses my mouth and smudges the chocolate against my cheek, I attempt to bat his hand away, but instead, he smears it more across my cheek. His laugh is loud, and mine matches while I try to wipe the icing away.

“Here, let me get it.” He reaches across, swipes my cheek with his thumb, and then sucks the chocolate-covered digit into his mouth.

“Tastes sweet.” He winks at me, and my face flushes red.

The cake is delicious, rich and decadent in the best way.

It’s not my mom’s chocolate chip cookies, but it’s a close second.

My stomach is so full, I’m worried I’m going to get sick when we stand up after Thomas pays the check.

He rests his hand on my back, guiding me through the tables and toward the exit.

The warm air hits my skin, a welcome feeling.

The night air is starting to cool off, fall is right around the corner.

“Do you want to go for a walk? Or are you ready to head back?” Thomas asks me, moving his hand from my back, and a desperate part of me misses the touch. I’m needy for any physical touch. But what does it say about me that I want Thomas to touch me, and I’m going to Adam’s room later?

My phone vibrates in my pocket; the pattern I set for Adam, and my hopeless attempt to enjoy my date with Thomas goes right out the window.

My pulse speeds up as I wonder what he sent me.

Have they already left and he’s ready for me to come over?

Is he canceling on me? Did he back out on telling Danielle, and he’s telling me to forget about everything that happened?

That last one makes my lip downturn, the false rejection already blooming in my stomach.

I won’t look at it. I won’t.

“Sure, that sounds nice.” I offer Thomas a smile and my hand. He wraps his palm around mine, and the smooth, warm skin feels wrong. My body wants to reject his touch and go find the one guy who’s been setting my body on fire.

But I don’t, because he has a girlfriend. And we would have to be a secret. Could I stand being hidden in the shadows until he’s ready? I’ve never hidden myself, even when it got me bullied relentlessly in school. I’ve always been true and honest, at least with myself.

I told Adam that I would be fine taking the crumbs he could offer me.

But as Thomas and I walk down the crowded sidewalk, hand in hand, and Thomas tells me about what it was like growing up here, I realize that my lies are growing too big, because I don’t know what’s the truth and what I’ve deluded myself into thinking.

I don’t look at my phone for the rest of the night, and when Thomas drops me off in the same parking lot where he picked me up, I take a chance. I lift up on my tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek, the slight stubble biting into my lips.

My feelings have been a rollercoaster because of this weekend, but starting now, I need to focus on myself. No more Adam, no more risking my friendship with Danielle, and no more pining over a man who can’t be seen in public with me.

Nothing good could come out of me and Adam being together, and I deserve a little bit of goodness in my life.

Thomas brushes his hand across my cheek, and I lean into his touch. His grey eyes stare into mine, and he smiles softly at me. His smile is pretty; it makes a dimple poke out in his cheek, and his eyes scrunch up just a bit in the corners.

“I had a great time tonight.”

“I did too.”

“Would you want to go out again?” His tone is hopeful, and I take a deep breath.

“I would love that.”

Walking back to my room, I check my phone.

There’s a message from Danielle, asking about studying together this week.

I respond quickly, confirming plans to meet at the library tomorrow after she gets out of her Organic Chemistry lab.

There’s one from my mom, checking in on me, and there are six from Adam.

Adam: Hey, everyone is leaving in thirty minutes. I can’t wait to see you. I picked up ice cream from the store, Danielle mentioned you like mint chocolate chip. Don’t you think that tastes like toothpaste?

Adam: Waiting on Danielle to leave, and then the coast is clear. I’ll leave the door unlocked for you. Do you want anything besides ice cream? I can order something for delivery.

Adam: Is it selfish that I hope your date is going horrible? I wish it was over so you could be here with me.

Adam: Come over as soon as you can! I found a new show I thought you might like, figured we could watch it together. If you want.

Adam: Everything okay?

Adam: ?

The last one is from three minutes ago. It is selfish that he hopes my date went horribly, because what I do shouldn’t be any concern of his. If I want to go out on a date, I will. I don’t need to run my plans by him and make sure he approves of what I’m doing.

I exit out of the chat and swipe my fingers to the left across my glass screen. The red tab pops up, the white trash can like a beacon. I hit it. Another pop-up, giving me the option to delete or delete and report to junk.

I delete the chat. And just for good measure, I open up his contact and block him.

Opening my messages, I click on Thomas’ name and thumb out a quick message.

Hunter: I had a great time tonight :)

My stomach roils, and I hunch over the bushes in front of my dorm building. I dry heave, praying that I don’t throw up all the food I just ate. A sense of wrongness washes over me.

I ignore it, brushing my arm across my mouth and clearing the trail of drool that escapes, I walk into my dorm building with my head held high.