Page 94 of Suddenly Beck

Nat

The world seems to tilt on its axis as I stare at my father standing in the doorway. I feel myself shrinking under his presence the way I always do. I feel Nat slipping away slowly and Nathan take his place.

‘Excuse us, please,’ my father says coolly to Mel, and from his tone, he may as well have just blatantly told her to fuck off, except he would never lower himself to say anything so crass, the fuck you is just implied.

Mel looks to me, and I nod slowly.

She rises regally from her position crouched beside me and walks across the kitchen toward the doorway. The woman is five four if she’s an inch, but as she passes my father, she looks up steadily at him towering above her, his blue eyes as cold as ice.

‘Just so you know,’ she says coolly. ‘If you hurt him, I have an entire set of kitchen knives and meat cleavers, and not only do I know how to use them, I have at least twenty people who will not only be prepared to offer me an alibi no questions asked but will also be prepared to hide a body.’

I watch her sail out of the kitchen with a sniff of disapproval. I would’ve laughed if I wasn’t so damn churned up inside.

‘Nathan,’ he says quietly, and my stomach swoops. He never shouts, he never loses his temper, he’s always so cold, so tightly controlled, and his quiet, deadly tone is almost worse than if he’d yelled. ‘You’ve cost me a great deal of time, expense and embarrassment.’

‘I’m sorry,’ I breathe, and the words are out of my mouth before I even realise it. It is so easy to shrug back into the skin I always wear when I’m around him.

‘Sorry, young man, doesn’t even begin to repair the damage and upset you’ve caused.’ His eyes flash, and it’s the first glance of real emotion I’ve seen from him. ‘I’ve told the partners you contracted a virus and have been recovering at a private facility in the Cotswolds. They’re holding your job for you, and you can return on Monday morning.’

‘You did what?’ I say slowly, knowing that I’d resigned from my job with no intention of returning. ‘Why would they even believe that? I emailed my resignation before I left.’

‘Yes, well, I intercepted that email.’ He sniffs dismissively. ‘And amended it requesting a temporary leave of absence instead. I thought it best to give you time to reflect on your behavior before you return. You were due to be out of the office anyway for your honeymoon.’

‘You had no right to do that,’ I reply.

‘What choice did I have?’ he hisses. ‘Did you forget who your fiancée’s father is?’

‘How could I, when you both reminded me on a daily basis,’ I grate from between clenched teeth, feeling Nat stir beneath the surface.

It didn’t help that Grace’s father was one of the partners at my father’s company. In fact, it was the pair of them that had decided it would be a good idea for Grace and me to begin dating, and then they’d pushed and manoeuvred until I found myself engaged and about to walk down the aisle without a clue how I’d gotten to that point, but I was done being manipulated. I’ve found a life for myself here, and I am not going to give it up without a fight.

‘By telling them you had an illness I was able to explain having to delay the wedding too. We’ve managed to secure a new date,’ he continues, blithely unaware of my epiphany or my impending rebellion, Molly would be so proud. ‘You and Grace will marry in three weeks’ time, that should give you enough time to settle back in at work and make your apologies. I think it would also be for the best if you stayed at the townhouse with your mother and I until after the wedding.’

‘No.’

He blinks as if he’s not quite sure he heard me correctly.

‘Excuse me?’ he says slowly.

‘I… said… no…’ I repeat with great articulation. ‘I am not returning to London; I’m not staying in that mausoleum you call a house. I am not returning to work at your firm, and I am sure as hell not marrying Grace.’

There I’d done it. I’d finally said it, and it was a hell of a weight off my shoulders. I no longer cared what he thought. This is my home and my life, and I’m not going to let him dictate it any longer.

‘What did you say to me?’ he whispers in that deadly tone that has always cowed me in the past, but this time, I straighten my spine and raise my chin defiantly.

‘You should try some hearing aids,’ I say coolly.

‘How dare you.’ His eyes flash. ‘You ungrateful little brat. You’re the one who broke poor Grace’s heart.’

‘Nice try,’ I reply flatly. ‘But do you know where I was the night before the wedding?’ I wait for him to answer but he doesn’t. ‘No?’ I continue. ‘I went to Grace’s flat. I didn’t want to get married, and I seriously doubted she did either. She and I have nothing in common. It occurred to me that I was about to commit myself for the rest of my life to someone I didn’t love, wasn’t attracted to, and to be brutally honest, didn’t really like and for what? Because our fathers thought it was a good idea? Because we were from the same social class?’ I shake my head. ‘I knew it would be the biggest mistake of my life and hers, so I went to talk to her, and do you know what I found?’ I stare at him, watching as his mouth tightens. ‘I found her in bed with another man.’ I tell him bluntly. ‘Another man she’d been sleeping with for over six months. Another man,’ I add. ‘That I’m pretty certain she’s in love with. In that second it had never been clearer to me. We were about to marry, and I couldn’t understand how we’d let ourselves be manipulated to this point. Marriage should be about love, and commitment, it should be about wanting to spend your life with that person and announcing it to the world. Not being bullied into it because our parents want it. So, I told her then and there the wedding was off, and I wished her every happiness. I’m done being a puppet.’

I can tell he isn’t happy hearing his potential future daughter in law was sleeping with someone else, and I hope it doesn’t cause trouble for Grace, but I’m done lying.

‘Well,’ he concedes reluctantly. ‘Maybe marrying Grace isn’t for the best.’ He glowers at me as if he is doing me some sort of fucking favor. ‘Come back home, and I’m sure we can find you someone more suitable.’

‘I told you, I’m already home. I’m not going back to London, except maybe to visit my sister, and I’ve already met someone else.’ I draw in a deep breath. ‘And he’s the love of my life.’

‘He?’ my father repeats slowly, his expression morphing into something darker.