Page 83 of Suddenly Beck

‘No,’ Beck replies firmly, his eyes flashing. ‘Don’t do that. I’ve heard you refer to yourself as two separate people the whole time I’ve known you and you’re not. Nathan is a part of you. It might be easier to blame him, but he’s the one who got you out. It was Nathan who got you out of London, it was Nathan who put you on that train, without him you wouldn’t be here. I think it’s time you forgave him. I think it’s time you forgive yourself. You’re a lot stronger than you think you are.’

‘Can I tell you something really pathetic?’ I say quietly.

He stares at me, those beautiful hazel eyes filled with patience.

‘I wanted him to love me,’ I whisper.

‘Oh, baby,’ he murmurs.

‘I don’t get it. He’s a horrible person, he’s cold and controlling, and mean. He’s a fucking homophobe for fuck’s sake.’ I blow out a breath in frustration. ‘But I still wanted him to love me, and it makes me ashamed.’

‘Nat.’ He tucks a lock of my hair behind my ear and tilts my face up to meet his. ‘Some people don’t know how to love, and that says less about you and more about him.’

‘Maybe I’m just not that lovable.’ I smile weakly in an attempt to lighten the mood.

He blinks and straightens his back, his eyes flashing with steely determination. ‘Come on.’ He grabs my hand and starts walking briskly.

‘What are you doing?’

‘There’s something I want to show you.’ He pulls me along quickly as we head up the steps to the restaurant and opens the door, shoving me through.

‘Beck, what are you…’

‘SURPRISE!’ A deafening cheer roars through the restaurant and several confetti cannons erupt in my direction. Startled, I almost take an involuntary step back, but Beck places his hand on my back to stop me retreating.

I blink rapidly as the brightly coloured metallic confetti brushes my eyelashes and settles in my hair. Several large tables have been pushed together to create a large banquet table. There are balloons and bunting everywhere and a large sign that reads ‘Happy Birthday Nat!’

I can’t seem to swallow past the lump in my throat, and my eyes are burning.

‘How did you know?’ I whisper hoarsely.

‘I told them!’ Pia appears through the crowd of people and leaps into my arms, wrapping her arms around my neck. I hold her to me tightly, burying my face into her neck and breathing her in. ‘Happy Birthday, baby brother,’ she whispers as she pulls back.

I can barely catch my breath as everyone moves forward to greet me. Molly and Bernard are there, attached at the hip. Bea and her daughter, Lila, who is making eyes at Beck’s younger brother Quinn, much to the amusement of Juni and Joss. Quinn, however, seems to only have eyes for Georgie, who is standing laughing with my sister and Ryan. Jesse and Reed are also here, standing with Mel, who’s smiling at me warmly. Florrie from the coffee shop is here, so is Colin from the Cupcake shop, in fact, he’s standing, beaming next to a mountain, and I do mean mountain, of cupcakes arranged on a tall acrylic stand. In front of the cupcakes is a massive frosted sheet cake, with the words ‘Happy Birthday Nat!’ iced on it, and my eyes fill with tears. It’s a real birthday cake, not some posh desert in whatever boring and expensive restaurant my parents deemed to take me and Pia to.

‘But.’ I swallow past the knot of emotion burning at the back of my throat. ‘I’m supposed to be working.’

‘Not tonight, Nat, love.’ Mel smiles widely as she hugs me, her eyes cutting across the room.

I follow her line of vision and see my sous chef, Hayley, behind the counter in the open plan kitchen.

‘Sit your arse down, Nat!’ she calls across the room. ‘We’re going to make you the best birthday meal you’ve ever had!’ Toby my line cook appears beside her and shoots me two thumbs up and a wide grin.

‘Not loved, eh?’ Beck whispers in my ear.

Completely overwhelmed with happiness and such a rush of love for everyone, I spin around, throwing my arms around Beck’s neck and lay one on him. I feel his arms wrap around my waist, pulling me in and kissing me back as the sounds of hoots and catcalls ring in my ears.

I pull back grinning against his mouth, ‘I can’t believe you guys did this!’

‘You deserve it, Nat.’ He brushes my lips softly as he smiles. ‘Now, birthday boy, do you want your presents?’

‘I get presents too!’ I beam at him.

‘Of course, you do.’ He shakes his head. ‘What sort of a birthday would it be without presents?’

He pulls me toward the table and into the waiting crowd of people, where I’m hugged, kissed, jostled, and slapped on the back. All the regulars stop by to wish me happy birthday and buy me drinks. I’m feeling so much love tonight that I may break out singing the Lion King any moment, although that may be the alcohol on an empty stomach talking.

While drinks are bought and food orders are placed, I’m presented with an endless stream of gifts. Now, I may have been raised in privilege, but I have never felt so spoiled as I do right now. These aren’t cursory gifts bought because they’re expensive or on trend. They’re silly and thoughtful, and every single one makes me smile.