Page 92 of Suddenly Beck

‘I did something really stupid, Mel.’ I sniff as the hopeless tears roll down my cheeks. ‘I didn’t tell Beck something that I should’ve trusted him with, now he’s been blindsided, and he thinks I don’t care, that everything between us was a lie, and it’s not… it never was.’

‘I know that, Nat.’ She strokes my hair back in such a tender loving, motherly way it makes me cry harder.

‘What if he won’t forgive me?’ I shake my head. ‘He won’t even listen to me. I don’t know where he is.’

‘Give him some space, Nat.’ She rubs my back soothingly.

‘But what if he won’t let me explain?’

‘He will, once he’s calmed down,’ Mel says softly. ‘My son is many things, but he’s also fair. He’ll hear you out, but right now, I’m guessing by the state of you, things are pretty raw.’

‘Mel,’ I breathe heavily, my heart sinking into my stomach. ‘What if I’ve ruined everything?’

‘I’m not going to ask you to give me details, that’s between you and him,’ she says firmly. ‘Whatever happens, you and Beck will have to work through it, it doesn’t matter what came before. What matters is what you do now, from this moment on. If you want this, Nat, if you want a life with my son, you’re going to have to fight for it… fight for him.’

‘What the hell is going on here?’ a cold imperious voice echoes through the kitchen.

I look up, but I already know who I’m going to find standing in the doorway. The imposing and disapproving figure of my father.

Beck

I mutter a quiet, half-arsed thanks as Ryan hands me a beer and a T-shirt. I set the bottle down on the step next to me, not feeling thirsty despite the heat and drag the t-shirt over my head. I’d spent all day just driving trying to clear my head, and even though its heading toward evening it’s still hot as hell, adding to my misery.

‘Hey.’ I got here as quickly as I could. My twin Jesse appears in the garden and flings himself down on one of the plastic patio chairs. ‘Sorry, had a black lab to neuter. He nearly took my hand off when I tried to administer the sedative, not that I can blame him. I’m pretty certain he knew I was about to take his balls.’

Ryan winces silently.

‘What’s going on then?’ Jesse takes the bottle Ryan offers him and sips slowly. ‘Where’s your shadow?’

‘I’m pretty sure that’s what he’s about to tell us,’ Ryan rumbles quietly as he watches me.

‘What’s going on.’ Jesse sets the bottle down on the table and leans forward in concern at my expression. ‘You two looked pretty damn adorable this morning when we left you.’

‘He’s getting married,’ I say miserably as I pick up the bottle next to me, as much to give my restless hands something to do than from any real desire to drink.

‘I’m sorry what?’ Jesse blinks.

‘He’s getting married, or was… or is…’ I frown. ‘I’m not sure. One thing I do know is that he has a fiancée, and the day he arrived in the bay, was the day he left her standing at the altar.’

‘Her?’ Jesse repeats slowly. ‘Okay, none of this makes sense. I’d have said that boy was one hundred percent gay for starters, and leaving someone hanging at the altar, that doesn’t sound like Nat. He’s too nice a person.’

‘Yeah, well, obviously we don’t know him as well as we thought.’

‘We thought or you thought?’ Jesse replies. ‘What happened, Beck?’ he asks softly.

‘We were in bed, and he got a phone call from his dad, who sounds like a complete wanker. He was having a massive go at Nat and telling him he was selfish for leaving his bride to be stranded at the altar.’

‘And what did Nat say?’ Jesse asks, while Ryan remains uncharacteristically quiet.

‘He didn’t say anything, I walked out.’ I scratch my thumbnail at the label on the bottle watching the condensation bead on the cool glass and slide down my fingers.

‘So, you walked out and didn’t let him explain,’ Jesse snorts. ‘Why am I not surprised.’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ I glare at him.

‘You forget I’ve known you since we shared a uterus,’ Jesse says dryly. ‘And that’s your M.O, you used to do it all the time when we were kids. You’d blow hot and storm out, it was only later when you’d calmed down, you’d listen. It’s a knee jerk reaction with you, Beck.’

‘Yeah, well, in this case I’d say it was justified.’ I peel the label off miserably. ‘He lied to me. He has some other life, and I’m just someone’s dirty secret all over again. He’s just like Mattia.’