Page 45 of Suddenly Beck

Chapter Thirteen

Nat

I’m beginning to think apologies are like buses, you can go ages without a single one in sight, and then suddenly, several come at once, which is fine I suppose unless you’re the one doing the apologising.

As I gradually come awake, I hear someone groaning loudly, and for a moment I want to tell them to shut the hell up until I realise that the noise is actually coming from me. Cranking one eye open tentatively, I promptly shut it against the bright daylight seeping into the room, casting long shadows across the floor.

I must have dozed off again because a short while later I come awake, and this time, I can hear the repetitive patter of rain against the window, and the light filtering into the room has shifted into a gloomy grey montage of undefinable shapes. I pull the covers almost up to my chin and try to swallow, but my tongue feels like cardboard as I attempt to peel it from the roof of my mouth, and as if that wasn’t bad enough, I appear to have a small headache in my left eyeball.

Groaning, I roll over gingerly, ignoring the sharp pain in my head and stare aimlessly at the bedside table until it finally dawns on my foggy brain that there’s some painkillers and a fresh bottle of water with a piece of paper neatly tucked underneath sat there.

I take the painkillers, gratefully, first, downing half the contents of the water bottle in the process before setting it down on the table and picking up the note. Blinking a few times before my eyes are able to focus, I begin to read and with every syllable and sentence I want the ground to open up and swallow me.

Good morning, Princess! (Or afternoon…)

Please note the abbreviated use of Princess, this is due to the fact that last night you insisted on being called Princess Marigold Abubu Sexy Pants Alpha Zulu Foxtrot Ping Pong the third. (Don’t ask I have no clue)

I managed to get you back to the B&B, where you proceeded to tap dance the fandango (not sure if that’s an actual thing, you weren’t making much sense by then, but well done on the jazz hands. I give it a score of 8, excellent artistic interpretation but lacking slightly in technical execution)

I feel I must also inform you that due to the fact you were stripping rather enthusiastically, (Magic Mike would be so proud) Ms Molly may or may not have seen you half naked, which I fear may have only fanned the flames of her ardour.

You may also have ordered 6000 miniature cocktail umbrellas and an inflatable flamingo from Amazon (sorry, I did try to stop you after you ordered the, kiss the hot as fuck chef apron, not sure you can wear that to work btw).

And finally... just kidding! None of the above is true!

Beck x

Ps love the Mario pants…

PPs make sure you take the painkillers and stay hydrated.

PPPs don’t drink any more of Ryan’s beer.

I blink slowly, dropping the note and grabbing the covers, I lift them and peer down at my body, my very half naked body… my very half naked body that is only wearing one sock and a pair of skin-tight Super Mario boxer briefs with a large colourful depiction of Mario riding Yoshi emblazoned across the crotch.

Shit, I mutter, flinging myself back against the pillows and throwing my arm over my eyes in utter mortification. Why the fuck couldn’t he have seen me in my Calvin Klein’s? Why did it have to be the Mario ones… although, to be fair, it could’ve been worse. It could’ve been the Kermit ones.

I know… you’re thinking why do I even have such childish underwear right? Because it amused the shit out of me. Every time I was stuck at work in that boring as hell office, listening to my father and the partners talk down to me, it tickled me no end that underneath my perfectly fitted and very expensive suits, Kermit the frog was peering at them from my crotch flipping them the finger and smirking.

I’m a very low-key rebel. I don’t like confrontation, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know when someone is treating me like an asshole. Which happened pretty much on a daily basis back home.

I drop my arm from my face and stare up at the ceiling, my brows wrinkling as I try to recall the events of the previous evening. I definitely remember the cute kittens, and I remember meeting Beck’s family at dinner, but it’s after that things get a little blurry.

My eyes narrow solicitously, I’m pretty sure I had a dream last night about Freddie Sinclair, my school crush, which is weird… why was I even thinking about him, when I…

Oh my god!

My eyes widen in horror, and my mouth falls open as the night’s events crash back in on me with alarming clarity.

Oh my god! I told him I was a virgin!

I cover my face with my hands, even though there’s no one else in the room to witness my complete humiliation.

Oh my god! I asked him to be my first!

I grab a pillow and shove it over my face, my voice thankfully muffled as I scream loudly.

Oh my god! I tried to kiss him, and he said no!