Page 18 of Suddenly Beck

‘We were as kids, but I guess we just grew apart.’ I shrug, really not wanting to talk about my family. ‘Do you want something to eat?’

‘Sure.’ He glances down at the grill as I turn the lobster. ‘What’s the special tonight?’ he asks.

‘Fish fingers.’ I glance up as my mouth curves.

He blinks and laughs loudly.

‘Beck, stop flirting with my chef, he’s got work to do,’ Melanie calls across the restaurant, and I watch as he rolls his eyes. ‘And stop rolling your eyes at me,’ she adds without even looking up.

‘It’s like she has ESP,’ he sighs. ‘You have no idea what it was like growing up with that.’

I smile, wondering what that must feel like, having a mother who bothered taking an interest. Suddenly, my mind catches up, and I freeze, ‘stop flirting with my chef….’ That would mean he’s… He winks at me before sauntering off across the restaurant, and just like that, the nerves are back again.

I try not to think about it as the evening wears on and the crowd starts to pick up. Apparently, this is nowhere near as busy as it used to get at the height of its popularity, but word is starting to spread that Scott is gone, and some of the more hardcore customers who loved Melanie’s husband, Sully, are willing to give it another shot.

Melanie ends up in the kitchen with me, and even Beck puts on an apron and picks up an order pad to help out. Evidently, he and his brothers and sisters have all worked in the restaurant at one time or another.

Despite how busy it is, I feel Beck’s constant gaze on me, and whenever he swings by the kitchen to place an order, he’s full of dimpled smiles and witty banter, his eyes dancing as he laughs and jokes. I may not have any experience when it comes to guys, but I’d have to be an idiot to miss the fact he’s interested, and the hell of it is, I’m interested right back, he pushes all my buttons, even a few I wasn’t aware I had.

I knew he was good looking that day on the beach, it’s hard to miss that gorgeous face and hot body, and with all that blonde hair tied up in a scruffy man bun, he looks more like he belongs on a beach in California that the rainy north coast of Cornwall, but more than that, he’s quick and witty, and really funny. There’s a kind of innate ease about him that relaxes my nerves.

Then there’s that low sexy rumble of a voice, which just warms my belly among other things. Oh my god, I’m pathetic. I’m totally crushing on the guy, I can admit it. But it’s not the fact that I’m interested that’s making me nervous, it’s not even the fact he’s interested in return. What’s making me nervous is the fact, that for the first time in my life, I could do something about it if I wanted. If I was brave enough.

Am I brave enough? Isn’t this the reason I ran away from my old life? What do you even do when you’re interested in a guy? Do I like ask him out for a drink or something? I suppose it’s really no different than dating a woman. But does he ask me? Do I ask him?

Oh my god, I think I may actually be having a panic attack; I mean I’ve never actually had a panic attack before, but if I’d had one, I’m sure this is what it would feel like. Maybe I should boil some water and get some towels. No, wait a minute, that was what women did when giving birth… in the 1800s. I should sit down and put my head between my knees and just breathe… I should definitely just breathe.

‘Nat? Are you okay?’ Melanie’s voice cuts through my rambling inner monologue.

‘I, uh…’ I clear my throat. ‘I’m fine.’

It’s been a long night.’ She smiles kindly. ‘I’ll finish cleaning the grill. Why don’t you go and mop the floor in the back kitchen, then call it a night, and I’ll lock up.’

‘Okay.’ I stare down at where I’ve been scrubbing the same spot on the grill for the past ten minutes.

I glance out into the now empty restaurant and see Beck and the other waitresses picking up the chairs and cleaning the floor. Leaving them all to it, I head out into the back kitchen and prep area to retrieve the mop and bucket.

Melanie’s right about one thing, I’m knackered. I’ve only been doing this job for a few days and my whole body aches. I guess I’m just going to have to get used to being on my feet for long periods of time, but despite the physicality of the job, I’ve never felt such bone deep satisfaction and I know I love it.

I’m just finishing washing the floor when the door swings open. I turn to look, but my foot hits a wet patch and I lose my balance, but before I hit the ground, once again, I feel a pair of firm arms wrap around me. My momentum pulls him off balance too, and we crash against the huge stainless-steel fridge. One of his arms is wrapped around my waist and the other bracing our combined weight as he pins me up against the fridge door.

For a second, I don’t breathe, my heart pounding against my ribs, and my cheeks flush as he stares down at me. His gaze dropping to my lips.

‘Why do I always seem to be rescuing you?’ he chuckles slowly.

‘Just lucky I guess,’ I murmur in embarrassment.

He stares at me for a moment longer. ‘Those eyes,’ he mutters.

I know what he’s talking about because it’s the one thing everyone comments on. How blue my eyes are against my almost black hair, it’s a striking combination. I know because my sister’s the same and she’s stunning.

‘Beck,’ I whisper startling him out of his contemplation.

He blinks for a moment, almost like he’s coming out of a trance. ‘Nat,’ he rumbles, his eyes once again grazing my lips.

‘Yes,’ I reply, and oh my god, is he actually going to kiss me I wonder as my belly flops over in a mixture of excitement, nerves, and anticipation.

‘Nat,’ he repeats as I unconsciously lean closer. ‘In the interest of complete honesty,’ he murmurs. ‘I have to tell you I’m really attracted to you.’