Page 25

twenty

“T hank you for having us, Chicago! Until next time!” I yelled into the mic after I finished my set for the night. The adrenaline rush I experienced whenever I took the stage reminded me of why I worked so hard. Glancing down at Reign; my heart swelled with pride having my baby girl beside me. Each show, I witnessed her come out of her shell more and more. The way she dominated the stage reminded me of myself when I first started. The hunger and drive she possessed were unmatched.

I thought she’d be nervous the first time I brought her on stage, but she took the mic and shone brighter than any star. This was our third year on tour together, and baby girl still had that fire in her eyes. We’d been in the studio developing her sound because she really wanted to try her hand at music. I won’t pretend I wasn’t leery about it when she first came to me. I knew what this industry did to young people, and I wanted to shield my children as much as I could. Unfortunately, my daughter carried my stubbornness and determination as well. Once she put her mind to something, there wasn’t anything you could do to talk her out of it.

My team loved her, and my manager believed she possessed the talent to go far in this business. I decided to take her on tour this year and allow her to perform her own song as a soft launch as opposed to her singing background for me. Nayeli and I were more nervous than Reign. She got on the stage and killed it as if she’d been performing her whole life. It amazed me to see the little person I created coming into her own. My baby was growing up before my eyes, and I needed her to slow down.

“Ahhhh! You guys did so good out there! I’m so proud of you both!” Nayeli cheered, bouncing Reason in her arms. I kept telling her about carrying his big ass around everywhere, but she paid me no attention. My boy will be turning three soon, and he was still a hip baby.

“Thank you, baby! Your daughter showed out tonight! I think the crowd cheered louder for her than they did for me,” I joked. Honestly, I enjoyed the love they’ve shown for Reign since I revealed her existence to the world. She’d become everyone’s cyber niece, including several of my celebrity friends. Reign’s personality could light up a room. Her charisma and caring heart were the things I loved about her the most.

She made sure to check on me every day even though I was the parent. Since Reason has been here, she went out of her way to help take care of him as much as she could. Truthfully, she’s his favorite person outside of his momma. Whenever the two of us walked into the house, he’d run right into Reign’s arms. I smiled every time because it reminded me of my relationship with my own sisters. It didn’t matter how old I got; they knew I was only one phone call away.

“Good show, brother-in-law and Niecy Pooh!” Audra congratulated us, walking over to hug us both.

“Aren’t you supposed to be resting your feet?” I asked. Her round belly made it difficult for her to move how she wanted to, but she made it work. Asa told her this would be her last concert for a while since their son, Ares, would be arriving in two months.

“I left my husband at home, don’t you start with me,” Audra warned.

“That’s alright, I have his number; all it takes is one phone call to shut all of this shit down. You know you’re not supposed to be doing any extra walking around with those sausages you call feet.” My threats were empty, I just loved messing with her. I’d reassured Asa his family would be in great hands, and I planned to honor that promise.

“I’ll cry and pretend to be in pain; all will be forgiven. And don’t make fun of my feet. This boy has been wreaking havoc on my body. I’m over here looking like a balloon while Asa lies to me about how beautiful I am. He’s lucky the dick has magical powers; otherwise, I’d still be running the streets,” She snickered.

“Get out of here with that shit. We have to do a meet and greet, then we can head back to the hotel. I don’t have the patience to sit inside of anyone’s restaurant tonight, so I’m going to order food for us.” Traffic has been crazy since we got here, and I expected it to be worse tonight.

Plus, when it comes to my family’s safety, I don’t play around. Big Moe came with us tonight, but I made sure Nayeli and Audra were strapped. I loved my fans, but there were times when they went too far. When we came to Chicago last year, a series of fights broke out, leading to us having to cancel the meet and greet. I hate letting my fans down, but my family came first.

“Hey, they are ready for you downstairs.” My manager Reese informed us. After the scandal with Tee and Alton, I decided to get rid of my entire team. Some people might think my choice was extreme, but after a betrayal so egregious, I saw no other recourse. At the end of the day, I have the right to protect my peace as well as my fortune from anyone who doesn’t mean me any good. Reese performed her job well for the most part. However, It would take time before I trusted another soul in this business.

By the time we got back to the room, everyone was tired. After dinner, we all washed up and went to our separate rooms. I hired a nanny to help with the kids while we were on tour but also to make sure that I was able to have alone time with my wife. Of course, that never stopped her from sneaking next door to check on them whenever she felt like it. I expected nothing less from her because Nayeli loved our babies more than anything in this world.

“Did Reason finally fall asleep?” I inquired, seeing her tiptoeing into the room

“How did you know that was where I went?” She placed her hands on her hips, as if that was supposed to mean something.

“Woman, I know you better than anybody else in this world. You don’t have to fake the funk with me.” I laughed when she picked up the pillow and attempted to throw it at me.

“Don’t get mad at me because you’re a grade-A clinger. That’s the reason why he has such a hard time falling asleep because he’s so used to being up under you,” I expressed. There’s nothing wrong with him being a mama’s boy, but the reality was what it was. Both of my children were spoiled in their own way, and I took responsibility for my part in it.

“It feels like you’re judging me, and I don’t like that.” She pouted with her arms folded. I took a moment to admire my wife's beauty. Times have changed, but her beauty has remained the same. To be honest, it seemed as if she was getting younger with each passing year. Her radiant brown skin seemed to glow even more under the hotel lights. Honestly, I’ve noticed it quite a bit lately.

After she gave birth to Reason, she hit the gym because she wanted to get her body back in shape. In my opinion, she looked perfect, but I understood our views were different. Lately, she seemed to be getting thicker around the hips and waist, but she hadn’t said much about it. Truthfully, I loved her a little on the thicker side, so I hoped she planned on staying this way. Nayeli always had a fat ass, but there was more to grab a hold of these days.

Just the thought of her naked body had my dick rising inside of my sweats. People often asked me how I handled the temptation in the industry, and the truth was I didn’t. The only thing I thought about or cared about was my family. I had experienced the wild and free lifestyle, so it no longer interested me. There wasn’t a single bitch out there that would be bad enough for me to jeopardize my family. That’s not to say that the women weren’t pretty. They just weren’t Nayeli.

“What are you about to do?” I inquired. The only thing on my mind right now, was diving deep into my wife’s warm walls. It was the perfect place to unwind after a night of performing.

“I need to order more inventory for the boutique, finalize payroll, and order some more school uniforms for Reign.” She informed me, picking her iPad up from the bed. Her behavior had been a little odd lately, but I just chalked it up to stress. I knew it wasn’t easy taking care of two children while running a business and supporting me while I was on tour. However, I appreciated every sacrifice she made for our family.

“Well, why don’t you come over here and see about your husband before you do all that,” We hadn’t had sex in weeks due to our conflicting schedules, and I wasn’t trying to hear shit about work tonight.

“Come on, Rule. You and I both know that if we have sex, there will be no work getting done tonight.” I shrugged my shoulders, not seeing a problem with that.

“I mean, you’ve been working for the last three weeks now. If I wait for you to finish working in order for us to have sex, then I’ll be beating my dick for the rest of my life.” I sounded like a dickhead, but it didn’t make my words any less true. At first, I thought it was a work thing, but now I was starting to think that she was avoiding me.

“Not tonight, Rule. I need to get these things taken care of before we get on the plane in the morning. It’s really not that big of a deal. I know you may not care about my little business, but I do.” Her words stunned me, but rather than getting up upset and saying something I didn’t mean. I thought it would be best if I gave both of us some space.

“Where are you going?” Nayeli asked. A part of me wanted to be a jerk about it, but my wife worried way too much for me to play with her like that.

“I’m going for a walk. I need some time to clear my head.” I didn’t like the space that we were in right now, and I wasn’t sure how to fix it. Communication goes both ways, and it makes no sense for me to express myself if she wasn’t going to do the same. No other words were spoken between us as I put my shoes on, throwing a hoodie over my head. I swiped one of the keys just in case I didn’t make it back until later. One thing I loved about this particular area in Chicago was that it had plenty of restaurants and bars to go to.

The moment I walked outside, the cool air hit me, and my body relaxed. I noticed a deli across the street and decided to walk over there. I wasn’t hungry, but I figured I could grab a snack and just sit for a moment. The streets were busy on both sides, with people standing in front of the clubs and restaurants that were still open. There are a lot of things to do in these big cities, but after living in both a small town and a big town, I realized that I’m just a regular small-town boy.

I hated all the hustle and bustle of the nightlife when it came to bigger cities. Growing up, we used to spend our time sitting on the porch drinking and talking shit. Those are the moments I lived for the most. Of course, when traveling, I enjoy the bigger cities because they give me more of a variety of things to do. However, when it came down to home, Jonah Hills would always be home for me.

Once I got to the deli, I ordered a kitchen sink cookie, and a hot chocolate. It sounded basic as fuck, but that cookie was one of the best I’ve ever had.

“Mind if I join you?” I recognized the voice before I looked it up to meet her eyes. Reese stood in front of my table with a sandwich and a drink in hand. I nodded, giving her permission to take a seat on the other side of the booth.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you here this late. I thought you guys were ordering in.” Reese and I never had any personal conversations. I tried my best to keep it strictly professional, to avoid any issues in the future. It had nothing to do with an attraction or anything like that. My main concern was about me protecting myself. The more people knew about you, the more they had to use against you. I’d learned that lesson the hard way.

“I just needed a moment to myself. I like to decompress after a show.” She nodded, before tearing into her sandwich. I watched her eat for a moment, then turned to observe my surroundings. The deli was actually pretty full for us to be one in the morning. There was no particular age range because I saw an older couple along with a few adults around my age.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Reese’s voice broke through my train of thought.

“Talk about what exactly?” I peered at her, waiting for her to clarify her question.

“Well, let’s see, your leg is bouncing, you keep fidgeting with your hands, and let’s not even talk about the scowl on your face. I’m not a professional, but if I had to guess, I would assume that you’re upset about something. I’m not one to insert myself into anyone’s personal business, but if you need an unbiased opinion, I’m more than happy to give it.” I processed her words for a moment before speaking. As I said before, I didn’t trust too many people in this industry, and my personal life was something I held close to my chest. I’ve always found it hard to open up to people, but now it has grown even worse.

“If it’ll make you feel better, I can go first.” Taking one last bite from her food, she reached over to wipe her hands with a napkin.

“My mother-in-law has been living in our house for six months now, and I’m ready to lose my mind. I love my husband more than anything, but I cannot take another day of that lady in my house. She has no respect for my things, or me, for that matter. That’s why I don’t mind being on the road as much as we are because it gives me a break from my own home. It sucks because your house is supposed to be your place of peace, but not when you’re living with the devil secretary.” I tried my hardest, not to laugh at the last part of her statement, but I couldn’t help it.

“Damn, so what are you gonna do?” I knew Reese had a husband, but I knew nothing about their relationship. Mainly because I never asked.

“I gave him an ultimatum, and he’s not very happy with me. It’s either her or me. I’ve offered to help find her an apartment, and even help with the bills. I just can’t continue on like this. It feels like I’m the side chick in my marriage because the two of them are joined at the hip.

"She’s constantly nagging about what I’m doing wrong, throwing shade at the outfits that I wear. Hell, she even made a comment about me not screwing my husband enough. Do you have any idea how embarrassing that was for me? It’s hard for me to get in the mood when I know she’s somewhere lurking in my home. She acts like his woman instead of his mother, and it’s only gotten worse. I understand he’s an only child, and they were all each other had for many years. However, he has his own family now.” She huffed, taking another bite of her sandwich. I guess it was safe to say that all of us were going through growing pains.

“It sounds like it’s a tough position for the both of you to be in. Family is family especially when it comes to your parents, so I understand him wanting to help. At the same time, it is important to be understanding of your partner’s feelings as well. I love my mother to death, but I don’t think I could live with her and my wife in the same home. There can only be one woman in charge, and I believe that’s where the conflict is coming from.

"I think you should sit down and talk to your husband about how she makes you feel. If he loves you, then he’s gonna want to do everything in his power to make you feel comfortable. You can set a time for her to move so it doesn’t feel like it’s so sudden.” I advised. Normally, I wasn’t the one to give our relationship advice unless one of my cousins or my brother asked me to.

Everyone’s relationship is different, so it’s really hard to give advice on what you should do. Personally, I would have given her a move-out date before I even allowed her to come into my home. That way, everyone in the house has an understanding, so there’s no confusion going forward. Nayeli and my mother loved each other, so if we ever found ourselves in that situation, I believe things would be different. However, it’s important to communicate no matter what so everyone’s voices can be heard.

“You’re right. I’m just frustrated because we never argue. I mean, yes, all couples have disagreements here and there, but it’s never been like this. He didn’t even call to check on me after the show like he normally does. He’s always been my best friend and my protector. Now, I feel like there’s a chance that our relationship may not recover from this. His mother raised him as a single parent, so I understand him wanting to help her. I’m just not willing to sacrifice my peace for him to do it.” She replied, somberly. I understood exactly what she meant because I was the same way with Nayeli.

Whenever she stayed home while I was on tour, I made sure to check on her every single night. We shared our locations with each other at all times to make sure that we knew where the other one was. One time, I forgot to call her after a show; it hurt her feelings, and I vowed never to do that again.

“Have you tried calling him since he hasn’t called you yet?” She glared at me as if I had asked her an unreasonable question.

“He always calls me. Even when he’s working an early shift, he never goes to bed without calling me. This is the first time in six years that he’s gone to bed angry with me, and I don’t know what to do.”

“Sometimes, we have to put our pride to the side in order to work things out. You had every right to have your feelings, but the two of you are going to have to come to an understanding. It might not be what you’re thinking at all; he could’ve just fallen asleep by accident. Trust me, I’ve done it before and ended up getting the silent treatment for three days.” She giggled at my expense. I can look back and laugh about it now, but at the time, I was confused and frustrated, much like I am tonight.

“I guess I can call him when I get back to my room. I’m just worried that we won’t be able to get past this. I keep playing the conversation over again, trying to see if maybe I was wrong, but I know I’m not. I’ve held my tongue for months, and I just can’t do it anymore. I’m not telling him that he can’t have a relationship with his mother because I would never do something like that. She has to go, though. No more walking on eggshells in my own house.” My mom taught us that once you get married, they become your priority. I couldn’t imagine putting my wife in a situation where she felt miserable in our home. The idea of a happy wife and happy life reigns true in my household, which is why I’m so stumped as to what’s going on with Nayeli.

“Now that I’ve poured my heart out to you, it’s your turn,” Reese called out. I still wasn’t sure if I wanted to open up about my situation or not, but she had a point. She had been vulnerable with me about her situation, so I guess it couldn’t hurt.

“I don’t know. I wasn’t even aware that there was an issue until tonight. I’m not the type of person to talk about my wife to other people, so I trust this is a safe space.” She nodded her head before I told her what little I did know.

“It sounds like you need to take a lesson out of your own book. There’s obviously something bothering her. Maybe it’s something she’s afraid to talk to you about because she doesn’t know how you’re going to respond. For women, sex is more emotional than it is physical. We need that comfort, and reassurance that comes from being connected to our partner. Her avoidance might not have anything to do with you at all, but whatever she’s feeling inside.

"When our mental isn’t 100%, our bodies aren’t either. Especially after having children. Being a mother comes with a lot of stress, worry, and pressure. Maybe she needs a date night or something where the two of you can get dressed up and have a night on the town. When’s the last time you’ve taken her on a date without the kids?” Her question was simple, but the answer wasn’t. When I did the calculations, I realized it had been at least six months. We used to designate at least two Saturdays out of the month to go on a date when I wasn’t on tour.

A lot of things changed once Reason was born, but we still kept up with our dates up until recently. With her opening up a new boutique and us traveling so much, we rarely had time for one another. Honestly, the only time we had any connection with one another was when we were having sex. How did I miss that?

“From the look on your face, I’m assuming that you don’t remember. That could very well be the root of the problem. As women, we want to feel beautiful and wanted, especially when it comes to our husbands. However, if the only time you’re spending with her is in the bedroom, I can understand her not wanting to do so. Sex can easily go from being a desire to becoming a chore really quick, when intimacy isn’t there.”

“I guess I don’t understand why she wouldn’t say anything. Granted, our schedules have been busy, but I would’ve made time for her had she mentioned it.”

“Why should she have to tell her husband to make time for her? If you love her, why wouldn’t that be something you automatically do? It sounds like you want her to ask to be penciled into your schedule. How would you feel if the shoe were on the other foot?” The guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach ate me up. I’ve been neglecting my wife for months and hadn’t even noticed it.

“Damn, you’re right. I’ve been so wrapped up in my own stuff that I didn’t even consider her. Normally, she tells me how she feels, so I assumed nothing was wrong because she hadn’t said anything. It wasn’t until she brushed me off tonight that I realized something was wrong. However, my pride had gotten in the way of me communicating with her.” I admitted.

“Rejection is tough, so I understand where you’re coming from. Men have feelings too, so it’s natural for you to feel away about your wife, not wanting to be connected to you physically. I’d be willing to bet that if you planned a romantic date with her and showed her how much you love her, it would change the game.

"All we really need is love and affection at the end of the day. We want our men to make us feel like the prettiest girl in the world. I’ve witnessed you do that with my own eyes, so I know you have it in you. Don’t beat yourself up too hard about it. There’s still time for you to make it right.” She made a lot of valid points, and I couldn’t wait to get back to the room so I could talk to my wife. Just like her and her husband, we rarely ever went to bed upset with one another, and I didn’t want to leave this unresolved. Dove was my heart in human form, so I never wanted her to feel like I didn't love her or appreciate what she does for me.

" Thank you for hearing me out and giving me that advice. I’m going to head back to my room and see if my wife is still up.” I placed a $20 bill on the table for the waitress. Reese stood up to leave as well, and I’m glad because I wasn’t going to feel comfortable leaving her here by herself in a city we weren’t familiar with.

“Same to you as well. Thank you for listening to me and trusting me. I knew from the beginning that gaining your trust wouldn’t be easy, but I’m not giving up just yet.” A part of me felt guilty for keeping her at a distance, but I had to be sure I could trust her.

“I’ll work on it. In the meantime, make sure you call your husband. I’m sure he’s not going to get a good night’s rest without talking to you. Our pride gets in the way sometimes, and it’s hard for us to admit that we need people, but we do.” Most men are raised to not show emotions or weakness so it’s hard to break those patterns. Vulnerability made you feel open, and being open meant people had the potential to hurt you.