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seventeen

“L et’s raise our glass for a real one! Happy Birthday, baby brother and welcome home! I’m proud of you and everything you’ve accomplished since you’ve been home. You already know how I’m coming behind you and I’m wishing you nothing but success. If you ever need me, I’m only one away! Cheers to the good life!” Renegade gave his speech in my honor.

“Cheers!” Everyone raised their glasses in celebration while I observed the scene in front of me. I used to pray for days like this, so to be standing here surrounded by my family felt surreal.

“I love you, Bro. Always and forever,” My brother embraced me. We’d been thick as thieves since babies, and nothing had changed. He’d helped me get through life as well as my prison sentence. No amount of money would be able to repay him for what he had done for me.

“I love you more. Thank you for holding me down through it all.” I hated the mushy shit, but my family brought out a soft spot in me.

“I’m going to keep this short otherwise, I’ll be crying in the club, and nobody wants that,” River held the mic in her hands with Triniti by her side. My heart beats in human form.

“We love you so much, LJ and-” River turned her head to hide her tears. Triniti held her and then took the mic.

“We missed you, L-Boogie. It’s been a long time since we’ve had all of the siblings together, but I pray we’ll have many more years of memories to come, so stay your butt out of trouble,” She warned, pointing her finger at me. The two of them talked to me almost daily while I walked down my bid. I hated missing so many of their milestones because they were my first babies.

“I promise I’m not going anywhere.”

“We love you so much. Now we have two brothers to hit up for money. Balance has been restored,” Triniti snickered, handing the mic back to River. Truthfully, it warmed my heart to be needed. My father taught us to take care of family, and I loved being the person my siblings could depend on.

“I’m sorry y’all. I tried to hold it in, but my siblings are my world. It’s been so hard walking around while a piece of my heart was locked up. God blessed us with the best big brothers in the whole world. I love you so much, LJ. I know I can get through anything in life as long as I have you in my corner, and you already know I’m in yours. I pray you receive everything your heart desires, preferably a wife and some babies because the two of you owe us nieces and nephews.” Of course, River’s ass through that bullshit in there.

Dating was the furthest thing from my mind, especially after all the bullshit with Demya. She refused to have any dealings with me at all, which I could fault her for. I fucked up, and these were the consequences of my actions. Since I’ve been free, I haven’t been too stressed about it. My old flames were blowing my line up, but I’ve been so focused on business, I haven’t had the time to entertain anyone. Right now, I need to have my mind focused on my future.

I’d missed out on so much I needed to hit the ground running. Renegade and Justice helped me find a building for my auto shop and I couldn’t wait to get it ready to open. I’ve been blessed to have money saved up thanks to my family, so my stresses were minimum. I could pour my all into my business without having to worry about my bills. My new place was completely furnished thanks to my siblings and Aunt faith. My family came through in more ways than I ever imagined.

“I’ll see what I can do,” I replied, taking a sip from my glass. The burn of the brown liquor felt oddly satisfying. I’ve been working so hard; breaks were few and far between. Tunnel vision hit me like a ton of bricks so partying and drinking were on the backburner. A few more family members congratulated me as we continued to party. From my side view I watched my father get up from his seat. I tried to get him to stay home, but of course he refused. He hated being babied and I respected him too much to go against his wishes.

“Why didn’t you flag us down, I would have brought the mic over to you,” Gee huffed under his breath.

“I’m a grown ass man, that’s why. It’s a shame how often I have to remind your ass,” Our father grunted. Holding the mic in his, I became overwhelmed with emotions. He’d lost so much weight, although he maintained his appearance. Still the same handsome player, but internally I knew his body needed rest.

“The measure of a man comes by how he carries himself after he makes a mistake. I’ve made my fair share of mistakes, but you and your siblings are my greatest accomplishments. Regardless of the mistakes you’ve made in life, you handled them as a man should. Taking accountability and changing for the better. As a father, there isn’t much else I could ask for. I’m proud of the man you are and the one I know you’ll be.

I love you with all I have in me, and I want you to know I’ll be here for you no matter what. Even when you can’t see me in body, I’ll be watching over you in spirit. Go out into the world and claim everything that rightfully belongs to you. You all are my legacy, and I’m damn proud of what I’ve created. Hold this family together the way I taught you, and live life to the fullest. I love you, LJ.” My family called me LJ as a nickname for Law Josiah Graham.

Hearing my dad’s speech did something to my heart while we stood there embracing. I’d never been much of a praying man, but lately, it was all I found myself doing. A lot of my friends grew up without their fathers and it made me appreciate the one I’d been given. He may have been eccentric at times, but there wasn't a single time I called him, and he didn’t come to my rescue. Hell, even during my bid, he’d cuss me out every time, tell me he loved me then add money to my account. There would never be another Prosper Graham.

“Enough of this sentimental shit; it’s time to turn up! We only have a babysitter until the morning, so I need to get wasted now!” Loyal shouted, holding his glass in the air. I laughed at his silly ass standing on top of the couch in the section. You would think Auntie hadn’t taught him a damn thing with the way he acted at times.

“I love you, Cuzzo. I’m happy as hell to have you back home with us. Now we can roll up and really get down to business.” We held our glasses up in solidarity. Loyal never missed a single phone call or court date from the very beginning. When I say my family is built differently, I meant it. Not once did I ever feel as if I was alone during my time in prison. My family made sure I knew they loved me. Whether it was them answering my calls or sending me care packages. They stood ten toes down with me and I’d never forget.

“Cheers to no more early ass collect calls. This nigga had me waking up early as fuck like we were in a whole ass relationship out this bitch. Naw, foreal L-boogie, we missed you out here and we’re happy to have your ass back on this side of those walls. To more love, life and bad bitches!”

“Cheers!” The fellas all clanked our glasses while the ladies talked amongst themselves. As I looked around the room, I thank God for the blessings in front of me. My family grew in size while I’d been gone, and I loved to see it. The smiles on my cousin’s faces were what I hoped for in the future.

***

A n hour passed by before I realized it and the liquor ran right through me. I decided to head to the bathroom then ventured off to check out the scene. My family and close friends were in the VIP section, but the club was full of patrons. Charity decorated the place with flyers of me on them. I still wasn’t sure how I felt about it, but everyone else thought it was dope. After using the bathroom, I washed my hands them headed out of the door.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t see anyone coming out. I hope I didn’t ruin your clothes.” The pretty woman shrieked, attempting to wipe my shirt with her napkin.

“I’m good, love. It’s black, so no one will notice. Enjoy the rest of your evening,” I attempted to walk away, until I felt a tug on my arm.

“Hey, are you the guest of honor?” She asked, pointing to one of the posters of me.

“I am, I appreciate you for coming out,” I’m naturally uncomfortable around strangers, which a lot of people find hard to believe because of my family. We were known in the city, so everyone assumed we all enjoyed the spotlight.

“Well, welcome home,” She held her hand out for me to shake. The shit came off awkward, making us both laugh.

“Sorry, I’m not good with this. My sister dragged me out of the house tonight, so my social skills aren’t the best.” She admitted. Her pretty smile caught my attention. Stepping back, I finally took a look at the woman standing in front of me. What she lacked in height, she made up for in body.

“Oh, yeah? Here I am thinking you came here for me, and you didn’t even want to be here; that’s crazy.” The sound of her laughter stirred something in my chest.

“It’s not like that at all. I’m really a homebody, so it takes a lot to get me out of my shell. I promise it has nothing to do with you.” She explained. My mind became sidetracked from staring at her juicy pink lips.

“I’m not sure I believe you. Where’s your sister now? Do you guys have a table or something?”

“Unfortunately,” She rolled her eyes. My curiosity piqued from her expression.

“Is there a problem with the table?” I probed.

“No, the table isn’t the issue. I’m sorry, I’m sure you don’t want to spend your celebration talking to me about my issues. It’s really not that important.” Her eyes told me more than her words ever could.

“I’m in no hurry. Tell me what’s on your mind?” She brought out a side of me I normally only reserved for my siblings.

“I’m going through a bad break up I guess you could say. Trust me, I don’t want him back, but it’s a difficult adjustment because we lived together. My sister brought me here to hang out, thinking getting under another man would solve all my problems. I know she means well, but I’m not sure that’s the answer to my woes. With my luck, a one-night stand will turn into another dead-end relationship. Plus, I hate being around her ratchet-ass friends. Her best friend Ashanti has been throwing shade towards me all night, and I’m two seconds from putting my foot in that bitch’s ass.” She huffed. Her pretty face scrunched up in displeasure, garnering a laugh from me.

“Naw, don’t do that. Why don’t you come up to the VIP section with me? My family and friends are up there, plus I have plenty of cousins and sisters for you to chill with. You can bring your sister if you want.” I surprised myself with the offer, considering I rarely brought people around my family. Especially a complete stranger.

“Umm, I’m not sure if I should. You said it yourself that you’re with your family and friends. I wouldn’t want to intrude on that. Besides, tonight should be all about you, not me.” She shuffled her weight from one foot to the next. I could tell she was nervous being this close to me.

“Nonsense, I’m the one who offered. How about this, give me your name, and I’ll leave it with security. If you decide to come up, they’ll escort you to the section,” I reasoned. It’s been a while since I’ve been this pressed behind a woman, so I didn’t want to come on too strong.

“We’ve been standing here talking this whole time and I’m just now realizing we haven’t exchanged names. I’m Asha, Asha Lewis.” I made a mental note to have Jett run a background check on her if we ended up going any further than tonight.

“Law, Law Graham. My family calls me LJ, though.” This time I’m the one who held my hand out. She giggled then shook it.

“Nice to meet you, Law. I’m going to talk to my sister about it and if she agrees, I’ll come. I’m not inviting anyone else. They can stay right where they are,” Her little attitude returned, making my dick jump. She seemed like the perfect combination of sweet and feisty all in one.

“Alright, don’t keep me waiting too long.”

“I won’t,” I watched her hips sway as she walked away.

“Damn,” She turned her head back to look at me while I pretended that I hadn’t been staring at her ass. I knew my family would be searching for my ass if I took any longer, so I headed up to the section hoping she’d be following shortly.

“What took you so long? We’re you in there taking a shit or what?” Loyal roared, refilling my glass.

“Naw, I ran into this shorty on my way back. Fine as a muthafucka.” I admitted, reflecting on Asha’s sexy, thick frame.

“We know better than to take your word for it. The last girl we saw you with resembled a young gremlin,” Messiah interjected. The whole section roared with laughter.

“Man, you’re cold as hell for that one. Amber wasn’t even ugly she just had really bad acne.”

“Hell naw. Ain’t nothing wrong with a little acne. Homegirl's eyes were always looking in two different directions. It might not have been so bad if it weren’t for those Coke bottle glasses. And we’re not gonna forget about the hunch on her back.” I almost choked on my drink.

“Siah, remember when you asked her if she could take you on a ride? I swear I’ll never forget that shit.” Loyal commented. I shook my head because she ended up blocking me, thanks to those fools.

“This is exactly why I refused to bring another woman around y’all. Messing around with the two of you, fools, you’ll run off my future wife.”

“Hey, we were doing you a favor. When it comes to picking a spouse, you have to consider what your future children will look like. We have a legacy to uphold, and we can’t have any Graham’s walking around here with their eyes going North and West. I mean we’d still love them the same, but then I would have had to edit out the babies hump too.” Loyal shrugged his shoulder. Of course, his ass didn’t believe there was anything wrong with his way of thinking.

We sat around eating and drinking for a while before one of the security guards tapped me on the shoulder asking about extra guests. I’d almost forgotten until I turned around to see Asha sexy brown self-standing next to who I assumed must have been her sister.

“Oh, yeah, go ahead and let them in.” I kept my stoic expression so I wouldn’t come off as thirsty although internally I felt happy as hell. I’m not sure what the hell baby girl was doing to me. Glancing over at my cousins I wish I’d warned her about my crazy ass family.

“Listen, I invited a woman I met earlier to come kick it with us. Please act like y’all mothers taught you how to behave yourself.” I pleaded. I loved my cousins to death, but everyone wasn’t accustomed to their blunt personalities.

“Damn, why do I feel like a child whose parents are getting ready to take them to the store. Cuzzo said we can’t be scaring the hoes,” Loyal chuckled.

“Am I really that bad? Have I become the family member you warn people about before bringing them around? Damn.” Messiah questioned.

“I told you. Your mouth only serves a few good purposes, and talking isn’t one of them. I’m still not sure how you got me to fall for you,” Miyana chimed in. I smiled when I first saw the two of them walking in. Miyana has become my personal chef since I’d been home. Outside of my mother, I went to their house almost every day for a hot meal and a few good laughs.

“Do you really want to go there? I remember breaking up with you, only for you to come begging to have your family back. Don’t try to act like you don’t love my ignorant tail.” He leaned over to kiss her, but she turned her head.

“Aht, aht, bring your little ass over here. You already know your husband is petty, so why would you even try to play with me like that?” He whispered in her ear, and this time, she accepted his kiss. Before we knew it, they were full-on making out.

“Toxic asses.”

“Hey,” Asha and her sister were standing next to the couch, so I got up to greet them properly.

“I’m glad you decided to come through. These are my people. I’ve already told them not to scare you off until I get a chance to actually get to know you better,” I told her. Her dimples peeked through as she smiled at me.

“Oh, lord. Well, hopefully, it’s not too bad. Law, this is my sister Schlaun.” She introduced us. The two of them resembled one another, only her sister appeared taller than her with more chiseled features. I could tell they more than likely shared the same parents though. My siblings and I all looked different. Even though Renegade and I shared the same parents we looked nothing alike.

“It’s nice to meet you. Umm, the drinks are on the house, so feel free to help yourself. If you’re hungry, let me know, and I’ll take care of it for you.”

“Cuz said he’s a big spender today. Get yourself a couple of shots and a ten-piece fried lookin’ ass.” Asha burst out laughing at Loyal antics.

“Bruh, it’s only been two minutes,” I fussed.

“Listen, if she wants to be a part of this family it comes with an initiation. Either get down or lay down.” Loyal threw up some bogus ass gang signs. Placing my hand on the small of her back, I guided her around the room, introducing her to the ladies. Of course, they knew how to behave, unlike their spouses, so I knew I could trust her with them.

The night was filled with laughs and fun. I’ve been spending time with my family since I got home, but this made it even more special. I’d had my fair share of drinks, so I felt on top of the world. Asha seemed like a really cool chick, and she fit right in with my family.

My father and Uncle Truth headed out earlier, leaving us to party the night away. I’d gotten to open gifts, which surprised me because I hadn’t expected to get anything. I appreciated my family for making my day special, so there wasn’t a need for anything extra.

“I didn’t know it was your birthday too. Now I feel bad because I don’t have a gift for you.” Asha pouted. It’s crazy that we’d only known each other for a few hours, but her energy made me comfortable around her.

“No need for you to feel bad. I don’t have a need for anything plus you agreed to spend time with me. I’d consider this a gift.”

“Real smooth. Well maybe I can give you something later tonight. You know, to thank you for being such a great host,” I read between the lines, and it piqued my interest. I knew from our conversation she wasn’t a very forward type of girl so this must have been out of her comfort zone.

“You don’t have to fuck me to show me a good time. I’m cool with you keeping me company though.” I took another drink although I probably should have made it my last.

“Does that mean you’re not interested in me in that way? I promise you don’t have to let me down easily. I’m a big girl, no pun intended.” My eyes inadvertently focused on her meaty thighs causing me to become distracted.

“Hello,” Asha called out. Yeah, I needed to get a bottle of water in my system quickly.

“I’m not someone who makes a habit of saying things more than once so hear me very clearly. I’d gladly spend the night fucking your sexy ass until you can’t feel your legs. I’m only trying to be a gentleman because I see you as more than a nut. I can see myself getting lost in those pretty eyes as well as those thick-ass thighs. The only reason I’m not trying to break your back in is because I’ve been drinking and it’s hard for me to cum when I’m drunk. We’ll be at it for hours and I don’t want your ass running scared.” I warned. The lust in her eyes told me she still wasn’t taking heed of my warning.

“I like the sound of that. I may not have a lot of experience with men, but I’m built for whatever you have to give me,’ Asha purred. My length extended inside of my dress pants, and I prayed no one noticed.

“Be careful what you wish for, love. You may get more than what you bargained for.”

“Quiet as it’s kept, I prayed for a fine ass man to whisk me away and make me cum more times than I can handle. So maybe we can both get what we want.” I bit down on my bottom lip as she crossed her legs. I see the effect my presence possessed over her and I wanted nothing more than to make her wish a reality.

“Hey, I forgot to give you one more gift.” My brother handed me an envelope. My eyebrow raised while I debated on whether or not I wanted to open it. Deciding to see what the contents were, I carefully peeled it open. Two tickets fell out before I got a chance to read the actual card. Once I realized what they were, I stared at him in disbelief.

“Why did you do this?” We bought one another gifts often, but this seemed a bit more expensive than I’d anticipated. Especially considering the fact that he’s already done so much for me.

“I want you to celebrate your birthday the right way. You’ve spent the last few birthdays locked away and now I want you to spend this one with your toes in the sand. An Airbnb has already been booked for you and a guest of your choice. It’s for three days, and there are a few items on the itinerary if you choose to use it. The jet leaves tomorrow evening so I’d suggest you get packed up tonight.” I got up to hug him once more.

“Thank you again, Bro. I wasn’t expecting you to go all out like this and I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. Foreal, I wouldn’t have gotten through this without you. Having you in my corner means the world to me.”

“Forever and always. Until I take my last breath, I’ll always be my brother’s keeper. We’ve got your back.” He didn’t need to tell me because I knew it without a shadow of a doubt.

While taking my seat, I stared back at the tickets before a crazy idea popped into my head. Turning to face Asha, she was having a conversation with her sister, Ciyani and Tyeis. I wondered if she’d even agree to something like this. I mean, after all, we just met each other.

I figured I’d ask before the night ended. That way if she rejected me, I’d still be able to enjoy the rest of my night.

“Growing up I wanted to be in the medical field, but it didn’t work out. Do you enjoy being a traveling nurse? I heard they pay very well.” I learned a lot about Asha for the ladies. It pays to have women in your family. They did all the work for you. At this rate, I’d know her full medical history, including her social security number.

“I love what I do. It can be strenuous at times, but the flexibility I have from being a traveling nurse is lovely. I usually take on back-to-back jobs since I’m so bored.” Asha admitted. The passion in her voice made it clear she loved her career. I loved a woman with ambition.

“She’s not lying either. I threatened her to get her to come out tonight. What’s the point in having money if you aren’t going to go out and enjoy life?” Schlaun interjected.

“I have no room to judge because if it weren’t for my girl’s would have been a hermit myself. Plus, once you’ve worked all week long, being bothered with people doesn’t sound too appealing,” Ciyani expressed.

“I keep trying to tell her. I’m enjoying myself so don’t get me wrong. However, there’s no greater feeling than being in your own home, with no pressures or expectations. I can unwind and relax with my thoughts.” It sounded as if she needed to get out of the house and live. Maybe a vacation wouldn’t be such a bad idea. I thought to myself as she spoke.

“It’s all about balance, love. I’m an introvert myself, but of course my husband over there isn’t. I take time for myself on the days I feel overstimulated, but I also find things around the city we can do together. Money makes the world go round, but it’s important to take a moment to enjoy the benefits of the money you make.” I’d been so busy ease dropping on the ladies’ conversation, I hadn’t realized Justice was speaking to me.

“Whatchu say, Cuz?”

“I said I have a gift for you as well.” He handed me a much larger envelope. I wondered what it could possibly be, so I wasted no time peaking inside. My mouth dropped seeing the paperwork inside. Not only did it include the official deed to my place, but he’d also paid for my contractors in full.

“Y’all are really trying to break a nigga down in front of company. What the hell?” I flipped through the paperwork, also seeing documents about an investor as well as a check for fifty thousand dollars.

“Wait, you’re investing in my business?” I peered up at him.

“Technically. My company picks one small business to invest in each year, and I chose a person I felt deserved it the most. I believe in your dreams, and I know you’re going to do great things. If you ever have any questions or need anything I’m here for you. Go out there and make us proud.” It pulled at my heartstrings to not only have their support, but to know they truly believed in my dreams. You couldn’t pay money for the kind of love they gave and I made a vow to continue to show them I deserved it.

I’d wanted my own auto shop since I was a young boy, but once I got a taste of the fast money, I strayed away from the goals I’d set for myself. I abandoned all my plans and traded it in for a lifestyle I knew nothing about. Although I would wish prison on my worst enemy it served as a wake-up call. My dad used to tell us a hard head makes a soft behind and I used to be bullheaded.

I thought I knew everything until those people slapped those cuffs on my wrists. Seeing my momma and sisters cry over a mistake I made broke my heart. I made a promise I’d redeem myself once I got out and I’m determined to make up for the time I lost with them.

“I don’t even know what to say. This is dope as hell, Justice. I promise I’m gonna pay you back for everything once I get up and running.”

“I’m not worried about it. Like I told you, you’ve got this." We cut my cake then the fellas helped me carry all of my gifts to my car. Another one of the gifts my siblings purchased me. Blessed would be an understatement. I couldn’t wait to be able to repay them for looking out for me.

When I walked back into the section, the ladies were exchanging numbers with Asha and her sister. I still hadn’t worked up enough nerve to ask her about coming with me on this trip to Tulum. It’s last minute so I’d understand why she may say no. My thoughts were scattered as I approached them.

“I’ll be checking out your website this week, girl. I’ve been searching for a new braider for a while now. These girls act like they don’t want to work anymore,” Schlaun complained.

“I hear it all the time when clients come to my shop. The industry has become about nothing more than fast money and cutting corners. Emergencies do happen, but I’ve heard quite a few horror stories. If you have any questions when booking your appointment feel free to reach out to me. I’ll definitely be getting with y’all about ladies’ night. I have a feeling this won’t be your last time around our crazy family.” Ciyani glanced over at me.

Once everyone said their goodbyes, I offered to walk them to their car. I’m not sure why I was hesitating when I knew I needed an answer right away. A part of me thought about backing out, but I’ve never been one to back down from what I wanted.

“Are you going with me or him?” Schlaun asked, I paused for a moment remembering we’d talked about her spending time with me tonight. I thought it might be best to ask her about the trip before I took her to my home.

“Can I holler at you about something before you give her an answer?” Asha looked back and forth between the two of us.

“Okay, give me a second,” She told her sister before walking closer to me. Schlaun waived goodbye to me then headed over to her car.

“Did you change your mind or something? I noticed your energy shifted while we were inside. What happened?”

“It isn’t anything bad. My brother gifted me with a trip to Tulum. I know we don’t know each other well, but I was wondering if you might consider-”

“Yes!” My eyes shot up to look at her. I asked twice to make sure I’d heard her correctly.

“We only live once, right?” She smiled boldly.

“Okay bet. I don’t know if you have anything specific you want to take with you, but you won’t need to pack any clothes. Everything’s on me.” She tucked her hair behind her ear.

“Well, let’s do this then!” Asha grabbed my hand as I led the way to my car.

She waved goodbye to her sister, letting her know she’d be leaving with me. I wondered if she planned to tell her about our trip. I know if one of my sister’s told me they were going out of the country with a random man they met at a club, I’d be carrying her back to my car kicking and screaming. Although, I’d never lay a hand on Asha to harm her, the circumstances would cause valid reservations.

I helped her get in on her side then hop in my ride. Tonight, hadn’t gone at all how I planned, but I decided to embrace whatever life brought my way.

***

“D o you think it’s possible to fall in love with someone in a matter of days?” Asha’s question caught me off guard. I sat my clothes on the bed before walking over to her. Her sexy frame stood in front of the sliding door of the balcony. The view in our suite was incredible; I’d never seen anything so beautiful.

Wrapping my arm around her waist, I held her body close to mine. The body scrub she used this morning smelled like a mixture of vanilla and brown sugar. My dick stretched in my shorts from having her this close to me.

“What did you say?” I heard her the first time, but I wanted to hear her ask again. Asha giggled when I nuzzled my face into her neck.

“I said do you believe it’s possible to fall in love in a few days?” The bright colors in the sky were mesmerizing. I’d been so accustomed to only seeing the gloomy ones from within the prison walls, I’d forgotten about the beauty of nature and God’s creations.

“I believe it’s possible to develop a deep connection with someone, but I can’t say whether it’s possible to fall in love. I believe love comes with time. It requires learning, building, and investing. It’s a powerful emotion that requires more than a physical attraction. It’s life-changing and everlasting; much more than a feeling.” She lifted her head up, staring into my eyes. For a moment, I lost my train of thought, gazing into her orbs. Unlike my siblings, I’m spiritual, meaning I’m in tune with energies and spirits. Asha's spirit brought a sense of peace and warmth I hadn’t experienced before. There was this magnetic pull around her, and it drew me in. It’s the reason I extended the invitation to her.

“Have you ever been in love before?” She asked.

“No,” my response took very little time to think about. I believed in love, but I hadn’t met anyone who made me want to give that kind of commitment.

“What about you? Have you ever been in love?” She turned her body bringing us face to face.

“I thought so, but I realized it wasn’t love at all. Love isn’t supposed to hurt. If it’s real, you won’t have to beg your partner for what you need.” Her thoughts were similar to mine. A part of me avoided organic relationships due to the way I saw my parents operate within theirs growing up.

Conflict and drama turned me off, and for a while, I thought those were the components of a real relationship. Instead, I decided to keep most of my interactions strictly transactional. Even my situation with Demya had been rooted in those same principles.

“What do you need?” I probed. Internally, I questioned whether I’d be able to give her the things she needed.

“Love. Real love. The kind I can feel secure in and not have to second guess my place in it. I want a love I can be proud of. A life-affirming love that changes the way I see the world. One where it’s us against the world instead of each other. I may be asking for too much though.” Her pretty brown eyes ignited a fire inside of me I haven’t experienced before.

“Naw, you deserve whatever you desire in your heart. There’s a man out there willing to give you what you deserve. You won’t have to settle for less.” Her facial expressions were unreadable, but I knew she was in deep thought.

“What about you?” My eyebrow furrowed from her question. “What do you need?” I froze momentarily, trying to think of an answer.

It wasn’t something I considered since most of my life has been spent running the streets, chasing all mighty dollar. For a long time, I believed money was all you needed to be happy. Emotions seemed to come with more complications than they were worth and back then, I didn’t have time to take anyone else’s feelings into consideration. My mind only thought about finding ways to make more money. With my newfound freedom, I craved all those things I’d missed out on, including love.

“Right now, the only things I need in life, I already have. Including you.” I winked, lifting her thick frame and then wrapping her legs across my waist. She squealed when I tossed her on the bed. I wasn’t sure what the future had in store for me, but I’m open to the possibilities.