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thirteen

“I t’s about time you called us, heffa. I was starting to think you didn’t want to hang out with us since you kept canceling on us.” Serenity yelled out as we sat around the pool at Messiah’s house. They were having a cookout and extended an invitation to me. At first, I thought about saying no, but I was tired of sitting in the house all of the time.

“Don’t do me like that. I can be a bit of a homebody at times. It’s gotten worse since becoming a mother. On the one hand, I missed going out and having fun, then on the other hand, I want to be cuddled with me baby every second I can get.”

“Trust me, I understand where you’re coming from, but baby, momma’s gotta have a life too!” Yaya lifted her glass in the air. We were sipping on these cute pink cocktails I’d created. Mixing drinks has become a bit of a specialty since I’ve been working as a bartender.

“Well, this is me trying to do better. Sincere is with his father again this week, so I’m using this time, to enjoy myself.” Freedom mentioned he may not be coming to the cookout, which made me even more excited. The last thing I wanted was to have him in my presence while I’m trying to unwind.

It’s been three weeks since the incident at my house and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish I’d let him fuck me silly. Freedom may be a lying son of a bitch, but he also knew how to fuck. I desperately craved for some physical contact and a good orgasm or two.

“As you should. Your son has two parents so there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to live your life as well. Don’t ever feel guilty about it either.” Yaya exclaimed.

“I’m terrible with not feeling guilty. Any time I do things for myself, I feel like I’m a bad mother. It’s ridiculous.” I admitted.

“Girl, you’ll get over it after a while. The biggest problem you have is not using your village. I’ll tell you the same thing Mama E told me, you are not superhuman. You cannot do everything by yourself, and we weren’t put on this earth to go through it alone. Most of us are raising children in some capacity so you can lean on us. We’ve told you this a million times.” She fussed.

I found it difficult to ask for help because of my upbringing. We were always taught to figure things out on our own. My mother would often suffer before asking someone for anything. Was it healthy? Probably not, but I’ve adapted to those toxic habits since it was all I knew.

“It feels like you’re judging me.” My head dropped in mock shame.

“Girl, ain’t nobody judging you. We want you to feel comfortable leaning on us. Our children are cousins so you’re a part of this family too. Stop treating us like red headed stepchildren.” I nodded.

“Let her know, Yaya. She already knows my little baby is welcome to come over Tee-Tee River’s house anytime he pleases.” River interjected.

The ladies in Freedom’s family embraced me without hesitation. I thought River would start acting funny after I had the baby, but she’d been my rock as she always has been.

“Babe, is there anything you need from the store? I sent Solomon and the boys to the store for some more charcoal.” Messiah yelled from the sliding door.

“Tell them to grab a few more cases of pop and some more hot dog buns. I picked up everything else on the list this morning.”

“Alright bet. Aye, stand up for me real quick.” Messiah requested. We all glanced in her direction as she stared at him with a perplexed expression on her face.

“What are you talking about?” Yaya pressed, while stepping out of the pool. Messiah observed her silently for a moment.

“Turn around for me.” He instructed.

“‘Siah, what’s the problem?” Miyana grew aggravated at his intrusive request.

“Damn, you fine as a mothafucka!” Messiah licked his lips as he stood there gawking at his wife.

“Are you gonna tell me what all that was about?”

“Yeah, some of the fellas from the team are coming over so I needed to see how fine my wife was out here looking. I fuck with them heavy, but I’ll drop them where they stand for drooling over what’s mine.” I snickered at their banter. I loved how overprotective and loving these men were over their women. They go so hard for them, but they will also throw hands in order to protect them.

“Boy, bye, you’re always doing the most.” She huffed, walking back over to the pool.

“Oh, I’m a boy now? Weren’t you calling me daddy this morning? If I remember correctly, it was “Yes, daddy, please don’t stop!” Now all of a sudden, I’m doing too much.” I covered my mouth to keep from hollering out loud. Messiah gave no fucks about what came out of his mouth. Yaya’s face turned bright red as she walked back to the pool.

“Damn right, I did. Now what? My girls already know that you fuck the Mario coins out of me, and you still do too much. Childish ass.”

“It’s alright, I’ll be that. You're gonna be sitting on this childish ass face tonight.” Messiah winked, making her blush.

“And will!. I need it good and sloppy too since you want to act up in front of company.” I found their banter so cute, secretly hoping to find someone I could laugh at and have fun with one day.

“Please get a room!” Serenity pretended as if she was going to throw up.

“Green doesn’t look good on you. Plus, weren't you telling my homie about how you want to-”

“Messiah! You better not! I didn’t know y’all were with him so mind your business!” Serenity shrieked.

“I thought so. Let me leave y’all asses alone. I’m about to check on this meat, Yaya, come holler at me in about ten minutes.” Her face told me they were going to be doing more than talking.

“Have you thought about dating now that Sincere has gotten older or are you and Freedom still a thing?” Ty quizzed.

“I’m afraid to date, If I’m being honest. The train wreck between Freedom and I left me afraid to date. Men my age seem to be immature, and I don’t have time for it. I’m a mother so I need someone who is patient and understanding. My time is limited as it so I can’t afford to have it wasted.”

“Are you open to going on dates? Messiah has quite a few single teammates. Maybe we could set up a double date if you’re up for it.” Yaya suggested. The thought alone sent me into a panic. Was I ready to start dating?

“There’s nothing to be afraid of. It can be casual until you make a connection with someone. You’re a mother, but you’re a woman first. We all crave companionship even if it’s nothing more than a few dinner dates. You’ve got to start doing things for yourself. Hell, if nothing else, get your back broken a few good times. “

“Exactly, Bree. You’re fine as hell and young. Having a baby doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice having a life. It’s all about finding balance. Don’t allow one bad experience to keep you from possibly finding love. Trust me, I didn’t want anything to do with men after dealing with Orion’s dad, but then I met Loyal. That man walked into my life and flipped my world right side up. Don’t close your heart off to love.” Ty’s advice hit home for me.

I’ve been so caught up in Freedom, no other man has been able to get close to me. I needed to at try to see what was out there before I completely closed myself off to men.

***

“A ye! Bounce that ass bih !” I wobbled my ass while Janae and Serenity hyped me up. Janae twerked right next to me with her big, round belly. She carried her pregnancy so well with her cute self. Wisdom kept peaking over to her ever so often to make sure she was okay. I thought it was the sweetest thing.

“Show out then, Bree!” Everyone danced by the side of the pool. The fellas set up a speaker system out here, so the music blared loudly. The feeling of letting loose with no inhabitation felt incredible.” Dropping down lower, I alternated making my cheeks jump.

“Damn, girl. Hold on, let me try that. My man gone be ready to knock me between the washer and dryer.” Serenity stated. The men were in Messiah’s man cave, but they made a few appearances through the night. Sticking my tongue out and I rode the beat as if I was riding my man. Well, the one in my head.

“Aye! What the fuck y’all got going on?!” We all stopped mid twerk to see the men walking outside.

“Shaking ass, brother. What does it look like?” Ren quipped. Messiah shook his head before signaling for Yaya to turn the music down.

“Ladies, these are my teammates: Raheem, Mega and Onyx. You already know my wife, Yaya. These are my sisters, Serenity and Honesty. My cousins: Ciyani, Janae, Tyeis. They are all taken so don’t even think about tryna spit game.” Messiah glanced my way, but before he could introduce me his friend spook up.

“What’s your name, gorgeous?” Onyx asked, holding his hand out for me to shake. I felt like a complete idiot for hesitating when he asked for my name, but the man was so fine I damn near forgot what it was.

“Hi, I’m Breyoun. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise, you have some nice dance moves.” He grinned like a cheshire cat. I tucked my hair behind my ear, staring up at him in embarrassment.

“Naw, ain’t nothing to be ashamed of, shorty. You’re fine as hell.” He remarked. My nipples hardened inside of my bathing suit; I silently prayed he didn’t see it.

"Alright, where are the drinks at? And not that cute shit y’all were sipping on.” Loyal bellowed.

“I can mix up a drink for y’all.” I volunteered. Creating new drinks excited me.

“Alright bet. I bought some more ice and the fellas brought bottles. Let me know if you need anything.” Messiah set up a bar outside, making it easy to access. Strutting over to the mini station, I went to work.

“What can I get for you, handsome?” Onyx stood in front of me with his hands tucked in his pocket.

“Surprise me, baby.” I caught a chill from him calling me “baby”. Attempting to play it off, I gave him a wink. He seemed like a dark liquor kind of guy, so I knew just the drink for him.

“Now, what do I get if I don’t like it?” He questioned, inspecting the cup as if he thought I poisoned it.

“Nothing. I guess it’s a risk you have to take, huh?” I flirted back.

“I’m all about taking risks, what about you?” He pressed, eyeing my body before taking a sip of his drink.

“I’m not much of a risk taker, I’m working on it though.” His aura felt intense, and I wanted to know more about him.

“We’re gonna have to work on that. Come holler at me when you get done playing bartender.” He requested, handing me a hundred-dollar bill.

“What’s this for?” I regarded the money in my hand.

“It’s a tip, love.”

“So, you liked my drink?” I quizzed.

“I see a few things I like, the drink is a good start though.” Chills ran done my spine as I tried to pretend his words hadn’t lit a fire inside of me.

“Thank you, I aim to please.”

“That you do.” Onyx lifted his glass, heading back over to the men. It’s been so long since I’ve felt a connection with another man, it scared me. My mind flashed back to the advice from the ladies earlier. I wanted to know what being loved correctly felt like. The only way I will have a chance is if I step out of my comfort zone.

“Come’re.” Onyx called out to me. The drinks were flowing, and everyone was enjoying themselves. I loved the vibe whenever I hung out with them. They were full of joy and love. Things I needed in my life. Not wanting to keep him waiting, I sashayed my way over to him. My massive derriere couldn’t be hidden so I didn’t bother to cover it up as I took a seat on his lap. The liquor brought out the seductive side of me.

“How’re you feeling, baby? Are you enjoying yourself?” His large hands squeezed my thigh meat.

“You keep calling me baby, but I’m not yours.” I smirked, taking another gulp of my drink. My nerves were settling in, so I needed to quiet them down.

“Yet. I believe in speaking things into existence. You may not be mine in this moment, but I can see that changing.” The scent of his cologne mixed with those bedroom eyes reeled me in.

“I’m sure you spit those same lines to all of your groupies,” I spat. I’d be a fool to believe a man as handsome as Onyx didn’t have a gang of hoes waiting on the sidelines for him to notice them.

Onyx peered at me for an uncomfortable about of time. Then without warning he leaned in to kiss me. I thought I saw sparks when our lips touched, but it could have very well been the Casamigos catching up to me. A grin spread across his face when he noticed the star-struck expression on my face.

“These aren’t lines, ma. If we’re being honest, I don’t need them. You caught my attention from the moment I witnessed your sexy ass. I’m not here to convince you I’m a good guy, I’d much rather show you.” My breathing became labored as we engaged in a staring contest.

“Do I make you nervous, baby?” His hand reached up to stroke my cheek. The bottom of my bikini set was soaking wet from his touch.

“No, I feel…comfortable.” It scared me how relaxed he made me. Normally, my guard stayed up when meeting a man for the first time, but not with him.

“That’s because you’re right at home where you belong.” Is it possible to fall in love in one night? My thoughts ran rampant until he took possession of my lips once more. This time he added tongue, sending my senses into a frenzy. I wanted to through caution to the wind and allow this man to do unspeakable things to me.

“Don’t overthink this. I promise, I’m not out to hurt you. All you’ve gotta do is let me in, I’ll take care of the rest.” The genuine look in his eyes told me he wasn’t just speaking physically. I nodded, telling myself to live in the moment. Like Yaya said, if nothing else, I’d get my back broken in the best way.

I turned so my back rested on his chest. A part of me worried about whether my weight bothered him, but he calmed my intrusive thoughts when he wrapped his arms around my waist.

“Ima have to call my mama and tell her, I just found her new daughter-in-law.” I snorted. Onyx possessed a lot of charisma, and a sense of humor. All of the things I loved in a man.

“You might want to hold off on that. You may be blocked by the time I wake up in the morning.” I teased, although I’ve been known to run from men in the past.

“I’m not worried about a thing. I’m one of one, ma. Once you’ve experienced my love, there won’t be anywhere for you to run. Plus, I got money so if I need to pull up on you, it’s nothing to me. I’m a very persistent man when I want something. Now quit being shy and let me see those moves from earlier. I’m tryna get a front row seat to the show.” He lightly smacked my ass, turning me on even more.

Downing the remainder of my drink, I stood from his lap. Glancing around, I saw all of the ladies dancing with their partners. Tyeis grinded against Loyal while he bit down on his lip. The lust in his eyes being a clear indication of how attractive he found her.

Swaying my hips to the music, I released all of my inhibitions. For once, I wanted to live without worrying about what tomorrow would bring. Bending over, I placed my hands on my knees. Wobbling my ass to the music, I activated my Meg knees as I squatted low.

“Goddamn, do yo’ shit then.” Onyx hyped me up, reaching out to palm my ass cheek. Motivated by his encouragement, I decided to take it a step further. Twerking my ass harder, I looked back at him to catch his gaze. The lust in his eyes fueled me even more.

“You’ gone make me fuck you up.” He declared, licking his thick, juicy lips.

“I’m counting on it.” Sticking my tongue out, I made my ass cheeks clap while touching my toes. Feeling hands on my waist, I glanced back to see Onyx standing behind me. I groaned from the feeling of him pressed against me. I didn’t have to wonder whether or not he was packing because I felt it.

“Throw that ass back!” Onyx commanded grinding his pelvis into me. I knew right then and there, it was over.

***

“Naw, don’t run from me. Bounce that ass like you were doing earlier.” Onyx roar, pumping into me. My nectar dripped down my legs while I gripped the sheets for balance.

“Oh, baby! Unh!” Sweat beads gathered on my forehead. We’d been going at it for thirty minutes, and my legs were like Jello. Clearly, his basketball conditioning played a major role in his stamina. I needed some water and a nap messing around with him.

“Umm hmm, this is my pussy now, baby.”

“You ready to cum, baby?” My back arched as he continued to punish my pussy from behind. After the first two orgasms I thought for sure my body wouldn’t be able to muster up enough energy for another one. Oh, how wrong I was.

“Cum on this dick, baby girl. Let me feel that pussy rain one more time.” His words triggered my walls to contract, letting go of everything left inside of me. His dick twitched within my walls reminding me that we’d fucked with no protection. I knew right then; I’d be making a stop at the local pharmacy the minute I left his house.

I couldn’t even believe I was here in the first place. Most women will say they’ve never done anything like this when they find themselves doing hoe shit, but it was the truth for me. I’ve always been cautious about who I give myself to because I know how attached I can become. Outside of Freedom, I’d only ever been with one other boy so when I say this was out of character for me, I meant it.

We both lay in bed panting for air. Well, mainly me because Onyx seemed completely content with his arm behind his hand. The sound of vibrations interrupted my moment of decompressing as I felt around for my phone. Babydad flashed across the screen sending my heart plummeting to my feet.

“H-hello?” I pretended to sound asleep.

“Where the fuck you at?” Freedom roared. His angry tone caught me off guard because we were on good terms the last time we talked.

“W-what do you mean?” I shot back, sitting up straight in the bed.

“Bitch, don’t fuckin’ play with me. I stopped by my cousin’s house to kick it with the family and your ass is nowhere to be found, then I drive all the way back to your crib and you ain’t in this bitch. So Ima ask you one more time and you better not fuckin’ lie.” His background sounded like he was pacing across the floor. He only does it when he’s overly excited or pissed off. I didn’t need to guess which one he was right now.

“Where is Sincere? You’re doing all of this unnecessary yelling right now and I’m sure he’s probably sleeping.” I deflected. I’m single so there’s nothing to hide, I just wasn’t used to him taking this tone with me.

“Wow, you really are a hoe like I always knew you were.” Freedom chuckled angrily. His jab hurt my feelings for a second until I remembered all of the bullshit, he’d put me through.

“Look, there’s no reason for you to be contacting me unless there’s something wrong with Sincere. I’m not sure what’s going on with you, but I’m not about to allow you to disrespect me. I’ll see you on Monday for us to make the exchange. Have a blessed night.” I hung up the phone, making sure to power it off. Knowing Freedom, he wouldn’t stop calling until I picked up so I nipped that shit in the bud.

“Are you straight?” Turning to face Onyx, a wave of shame hit me. I would hate for him to think less of me because of the situation with my ex. Even if this ended up being nothing more than a hookup.

“I’m alright. My son is with his father for the week, and he was upset because he wasn’t able to reach me. He’ll be alright.” I tried to keep the explanation as simple as possible.

“What’s the deal between the two of you? I know that kind of dynamic can come with a lot of complications.” I winced at his word choice. Even though he was well in his rights to inquire about it.

“We are working through the kinks of co-parenting. My goal is to make things healthy and cohesive for my son. He’s the most important person in all of this,” He nodded.

“So are y’all still fucking around?” He wasted no time getting to the meat of it all.

“No. We tried the relationship thing, and it wasn’t for us. We’re both single.” He chuckled, turning to his vape from the nightstand.

“From the sounds of ol’ boy on the phone, he wouldn’t agree with your assessment.” My hands were sweating as I reached to pull the covers over my naked body.” Onyx snatched the blanket from my hands. My head whipped in his direction to see this sexy smirk on his face.

“Naw, I’m not done with you just yet. Besides, I meant what I said earlier. I’m really feeling you, so I’m gonna give you time to tie up your loose ends. When I come for your heart, I want to be the only man with access to it.” I gulped, feeling an overwhelming sense of fear. Oddly enough, I believed every word he spoke. There was this magnetic pull between us, and I wanted to see where it would lead. My only reservation lay in current relationship status with my child’s father. As much as he claimed he couldn’t be what I needed, I knew he wouldn’t let go so easily. Onyx seemed to be a genuine soul and I needed that in my life. I prayed I would be able to give him back all that he wanted to give to me.