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“I ’ve already talked to my friend about catering for the wedding, and I’ve already made a list of what I’ll be making.” Nana Shelly handed me a piece of paper. I knew better than to argue with her, so I simply nodded.

“You don’t think it’s a bit much for a small ceremony, Turtle?” Aunt Marva inquired, calling Nana by her nickname.

“Ain’t no such thing as too much for my baby girl. I’m only making three meats, five sides, and eight desserts. This was the revised version.” I groaned internally. I’m sure the original list looked much worse.

“You don’t need to cook, Nana. Having you in attendance matters more than anything.” I advised. I’d given this same speech to Granny Lula, but neither of them seemed to be paying me any mind. Of course, her response mirrored the one Nana gave me.

“I bet Lula is bringing her famous pound cake. Everybody at the engagement party raved about it for weeks,” Nana grumbled. The two of them seemed to be in this battle about their cooking.

Quite frankly, they were both excellent cooks in their own right. All of this started with Cartier telling Nana her biscuits weren’t as good as Granny Lula’s during last year’s Thanksgiving dinner. We normally try to split our time between both houses.

“The main dessert at the wedding will be the cake. Anything else will be extra,” I explained.

“Hmmm, my peach cobbler will be the talk of the whole reception; you can bet on it!” I giggled at the confident smirk on her face.

“Just save me some for later because you know I have to eat mine with ice cream.” Her peach cobbler brought back many memories from my childhood. My stepfather, Nazir, and I would fight over the last scoop. He swore I was too young to appreciate how delicious it truly was. The thought alone caused me to smile.

With prayer and therapy, I’d finally begun the healing process. Of course, Nazir’s presence would be missed. The difference is now I’m able to enjoy the memories of him without so much torment. The most important feeling to a child is being loved, and he allowed me to experience that. Justice was worried wedding planning might cause me sadness, but I felt great. Although I am hurt about not having my father walk me down the aisle, he remained with me in spirit.

“Anything for you, suga. I’m so proud of you.” Nana started tearing up, taking a seat next to me.

“Watching you blossom these last few years has been a blessing. I used to tell Nazir how resilient you were, but to witness it in action is incredible. You’re like a phoenix rising from the ashes of life. No matter what threatened to knock you down, you bounced back better than ever.

I’m grateful to have the opportunity to witness your greatness. I pray for blessings and immeasurable happiness over your life and marriage. It’s time for you to truly start living and enjoying the life you’ve created for yourself.” I wiped the tears from my eyes. I’ve been to hell and back since I was a little girl. Now, it seemed as if life had just begun for me.

“Thank you, Nana. I love you so much, and I appreciate you being in my life to lean on when I need help. I’m happy we could move forward and rebuild our relationship.” Over the years, she’d played an intricate role in helping me raise the boys. Between her and the Graham’s, I now knew what it meant to have a village. The boys wanted for nothing, and neither did I.

“I’ll be here for however long the Lord allows me to be. Now, I want to talk to you about something that’s been on my heart.” She reached out to hold my hand. The change in her tone led me to believe this wouldn’t be a pleasant conversation.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and I believe the boys should come live with me once you get married.” My body shifted to face her because I needed to make sure I heard her correctly. Surely, she must have misspoken because there’s no way she’d said what I thought she did.

“Now, before you get up in arms, hear me out. When the two of you got together, you had no one else in your corner, so naturally, the boys were a package deal. Now things have changed, and I think you should consider a new plan.

The two of you are both young and creating a life for yourself. Raising children takes a lot of work, which can become taxing on any relationship. The two of you don’t have children of your own, so I don’t believe it’s fair to place a burden so large on newlyweds. You deserve to live your life and come and go as you please. Cayden and Cartier are bigger now, so they would be fine staying here with me. Shoot, it’d be nice to have company around here, anyway.”

“Where did this come from? I’m confused.” I tried not to get upset, knowing she truly meant well, but this seemed to come from left field. It made me wonder if the boys were complaining about me.

“When you and Justice get married, things will change, as they should. There will be different expectations set for the two of you as you navigate through life together. That man is in his twenties and has more money than he knows what to do with. I’m sure he’ll want to take vacations, go on dates, and do other things that are only meant for the two of you. His feelings should be taken into consideration as well.

He’s marrying a single woman with no children, which means things should be simple for you, too. Doctor’s appointments, parent-teacher conferences, and sports games are not included in that. It’s not what he signed up for. Neither did you, if we’re being honest. You raised the boys out of obligation because you wanted to spare them from a life in the system. It’s an honorable sacrifice, but now it’s time to lean on your village,” she reasoned. I still felt unsettled by her suggestion. Cayden, Cartier, and I had only had each other for so long. The idea of us being separated felt unnatural.

“I appreciate your concern. I truly do. However, the boys are fine where they are. Justice loves them as much as I do, so I doubt he’d agree with them leaving. As you mentioned before, we have a village, which means we have a strong support system to help us raise these boys,” I argued. For a moment, I wondered if I’d been selfish concerning Justice’s needs. When he met me, he obviously knew my brothers were a major part of my life, but was I wrong to expect him to be a part of their upbringing? My brothers weren’t a burden or sacrifice to me, so I considered no one else’s feelings on the matter.

“You don’t have to make a decision now; it’s merely a suggestion. You’re about to start a new life; you deserve to do so with a clean slate.” Nana patted the back of my hand before getting up from her seat.

My mood shifted as I found myself lost in my thoughts. Did Justice regret the boys? My mind told me, no, but the overthinking part of me considered the alternative. Justice loved me, but was it wrong to ask him to take on my baggage for the rest of his life? Not once in this whole process have I considered not marrying Justice. However, when it came to my brothers, I’d choose them every time, even at the sacrifice of my own happiness. No one in this world mattered more to me than them.

Nana packed plates for us, including some desserts she wanted me to try. She could sense the change in my mood, and I didn’t bother to hide it. I wasn’t angry, but I was surprised. My brothers were a soft spot for me, and the idea of losing them crippled me.

“My intentions were not to upset you, suga. I want you to have the life you desire. You’ve carried the burdens of your family your entire life, and I’m trying to lessen the load for you. If you decide it’s not what you want, then I’ll respect it. My goal is not to step on anyone’s toes; I’m here to help in any capacity I can. I love all of you so very much, and I want the best for you.” She hugged me, and I knew her heart meant well. However, I couldn’t fathom the idea of being separated from them.

“I know, Nana. I love you, too. Your heart is in the right place, but I want them with me.” She nodded, then smiled.

“They are lucky to have you.”

“I’m the lucky one. Cayden! Cartier! Let’s go!” I yelled. We were supposed to head to the grocery store before going home. They ran through food as if they were starving. The older they got, the higher my grocery bill went increased.

“I’ll let you know about the desserts. Charity will get with you and Granny to coordinate where all the food will go and how the tables will be assembled. It’ll be December before we know it, so I want to get as much completed as possible,” I expressed.

“Don’t worry, your pretty little head about a thing. It’s all going to come together exactly the way it’s supposed to.” Her hand caressed my face.

I’m blessed to have a solid support system. I could honestly say I felt minimal anxiety about the wedding outside of me, tripping on my heels and falling in front of everyone. Everyone showed me so much support and love throughout this entire process.

“Yani, can you buy some more protein powder for my shakes in the morning?” Cayden asked. It’s crazy that I had to look up at him now. It seemed as if he’d grown overnight.

“Sure, remind me when we get to the store. I need to get more peanut butter, too, since you keep using it up,” I tittered. He’d been on a health kick to keep in shape for his sports. Wisdom stepped in as a mentor to help him get conditioned for the season.

“Yeah, we might need to get a couple of jars. Wisdom has us eating yogurt bowls, and the melted peanut butter on top is a hit.” I rolled my eyes. Both he and Cartier made a mess in my kitchen every morning trying to make those damn bowls.

“Alright, let’s get going so we can get to the store before it gets too busy.” He nodded, stepping over to give Nana a hug.

“You boys be good, ya’ hear? If you need anything, call me.”

“I got you, Nana. Love you!”

***

“I ’m sorry, ma’am, your food stamp card doesn’t have enough funds to cover your total. The balance on your card is only $12.17. If you can’t afford to pay with cash, we will need to take your cart.” The cashier shouted to the lady in front of us. She seemed to have an attitude, and it pissed me off. I understood how frustrating customer service can be, but that didn’t give them the right to treat someone less than human.

The woman appeared to be in her mid-thirties with three children standing around her. I could tell she felt humiliated, and it was hurtful to watch. My heart broke for her because I remember what it felt like not to have money for food. I thank God every day for sending people with compassion my way.

“What’s her total?” I spoke up. The cashier turned in my direction with a flustered look on her face.

“For what? If she can’t afford to feed her children, maybe she needs to give them to someone who can.” Shock plastered across my face. The words she spoke were horrendous, and no one deserved to be degraded in this way. I wanted to ram my fist into her face, but I’d grown from those days of fighting bitches.

“I asked for the total. Your ignorant commentary wasn’t necessary. As a matter of fact, call your supervisor over. I’d love to hear their thoughts on how you treat customers.” I demanded. Steam blew from my ears as I clenched my fists together . Breathe Yani. You are a businesswoman now.

“Listen, please don’t go through this trouble on my behalf. It was an honest misunderstanding. I don’t have a phone to check my balance, but I thought I had enough. It’s all my fault,” the sweet lady called out. She wore a T-shirt and some tattered sweatpants. I noticed her children wore nice clothing, but not her.

“It may have been a mistake, but you don’t deserve to be treated less than because of it. You’re a human like everyone else and should be given the same compassion and understanding as the next person,” I affirmed.

“Umm, I can give you her total if you still need it.” The cashier changed her tone, but I didn’t care.

“I’ll wait for your supervisor to come over.”

“Yani’s arms are folded, so you know she means business.” Cartier joked. They know me better than anyone, and I wasn’t backing down once I got started. Luckily, we were the only other people in this line, but I wouldn’t have cared either way.

The young girl turned her register light off before stepping back from her post. A moment passed before an older black man walked up to the register. The two of them spoke in a hushed tone. I’m sure she was trying to explain her side of the story to him.

“How are you ladies doing this evening? Sarah tells me there’s an issue with a payment not going through?” He stated, waiting for clarification.

“No, that’s not the reason you were requested. This mother’s card declined. However, the way your employee conducted herself was disrespectful and degrading. There’s a certain level of professionalism that should be displayed when dealing with customers. I can understand someone having a bad day; however, blatantly judging the next person isn’t right. The comments she made towards her were deplorable. I’m sure her actions in no way represent the values of your company, but she is an employee here so she should know how to carry herself." I knew the boys were laughing behind me because of my professional tone. The manager peered over at the young girl before dismissing her.

“I sincerely apologize for any harm this interaction has caused you two. We believe it’s important for our employees to operate with kindness and compassion. I’m sorry your experience was less than favorable. I can assure you the employee will be reprimanded for her lapse in judgment.” He offered the lady a $25 gift card and then called another worker over to complete the transaction. I asked for them to ring our orders up together to make it easier for them.

“Thank you so much. You really didn’t have to do that. All I wanted to do was get a few things for my children to get us through the week until my payday.” Her eyes filled with tears as we walked together out of the store. It’s ironic being this store held so many memories for me. It’s the same store I came to when I met Justice. The night that changed my life forever.

“Did you get everything you needed?” I glanced at the children, who all seemed very well-mannered. I could tell from the way they circled their mother they were extremely protective of her.

“I-it’s enough to get by."

Our cart overflowed to the brim with snacks and other miscellaneous items, which vastly differed from hers. I knew how quickly boys went through food, and based on the items she’d purchased, it wouldn’t be enough for more than a couple of days.

“What’s your name?” I didn’t want to intrude, but I wanted to know the names of people I encountered in case we ran into one another in the future.

“Melody,” she replied.

“Well, Ms. Melody, go back and get everything you need.” I handed her $2,000 in cash. I’m sure if she needed groceries, there may be a few other things she could use help with. I remember sitting in the house with our lights off, trying to figure out why we were being punished. You never know what struggles the next person might be facing. I felt this pull on my heart to bless her, so I listened to my gut.

“Oh, no, I can’t accept this. You’ve already paid for our groceries.” She pushed my hand away, but her children’s eyes bulged in desperation. I knew she hadn’t been completely honest about her situation, but I understood why. It’s hard to ask for help, especially when we live in a society that judges you for not having it but also looks down on you for using the resources put in place to assist you.

“I’m not taking no for an answer. I’ve been where you are, and one day, God placed someone in my life to lend a helping hand. I’m simply paying it forward. One day, you will reflect on these times and remember just how far you’ve come. You’re doing a great job, but there’s nothing wrong with allowing someone to help you.” I placed the money in her hand and then gave her a hug. I wiped my own tears and then stepped back.

“Why don’t you guys go grab another cart and a few more snacks for the house?” I suggested. Melody turned to her oldest son before handing him some money. The two younger children were jumping up and down with excitement.

“Do you need anything, Mom? I don’t want to spend the money on only the things we want. You hardly ever get anything for yourself,” he pressed. It reminded me of how Cayden acted with me.

“If you see those granola bars I like, grab a box of those. Don’t let your siblings wander off from you. I’m going to run these groceries to the car and come right back,” Melody advised. He nodded, then walked off to grab another cart. Suddenly, he walked back over to us and hugged me. It melted my heart so much that the tears wouldn’t stop falling.

“Thank you.” My emotions rendered me speechless, knowing if I tried to talk, it wouldn’t be intelligible. He walked away with his siblings in tow as I attempted to gather myself. Cayden and Cartier took our cart so they could load the groceries into the car, leaving Melody and me.

“You don’t know how much of a blessing this is to us. I’m past due on my rent this month since I’ve recently been laid off from my job. I’ve been doing these cleaning jobs to come up with the money, but the landlord told me I’d have to pay in full in order to avoid eviction. Last night, I prayed for a miracle. Lord knows I’ve experienced my fair share of setbacks, but I couldn’t bear the thought of my children having to suffer because of my misfortune.

" I begged God to make a way for us to stay in our home this month, and then I would try to figure out the rest on my own. This morning, He told me to go to this grocery store after I finished my last cleaning job. Normally, I shop at the one closer to my house, but I decided to be obedient. I wasn’t sure whether I had any money left on my card, so I hoped and prayed all the way here. I’m not perfect by any means, but I love my children, and I work hard to provide for them. I know many people look down on people for relying on public assistance, but there’s no room to be prideful when my children are hungry. I did not know that when he sent me here, I’d be blessed enough to meet someone as kind as you.

"The blessing you have given us today goes far beyond money. You have restored my faith not only in God but in people. I know this season is temporary, and I pray to one day be able to return this blessing to the next person who is struggling. ‘Thank you’ seems like such an inappropriate word for what you’ve done for us. I have not eaten in days in order to make sure my children were full. You are an angel to us.” It warmed my heart to know I could be a blessing to someone in need.

"I’m glad we ran into each other. I pray these are your last days having to struggle for anything.” I hugged her once more before passing her the information to Justice’s community center and a card to Pastor Jordan’s church.

“Thank you so much. Have a blessed night.” Melody waved back to me.

I felt like I’d really done a good deed today. People should be treated with dignity regardless of their financial status. It’s one of the reasons Justice went so hard when it came to his outreach programs. In the last few years, I’ve been blessed enough to provide free hairstyles for the kids going back to school who couldn’t afford them, and the smiles on their faces were worth more than money could buy. As I walked to my car, I reflected on how much life has changed for me. My past made me who I am today, and I’ll never forget where I came from.

***