Page 159 of Steel

Pops gathered KJ and Nayelli and took them inside. I grabbed Neha’s hand and led her into the house and upstairs to my room. The moment the door closed, I felt my resolve break. I barely made it to the bed before I was on my knees, crying myeyes out. Neha joined me on the floor and pulled me into her arms.

“I got you, baby. Let it all out.”

“She’s gone, Neha . . . I tried to help her.”

“I know you did. This isn’t your fault, Kerrion. Her grief . . . she just couldn’t handle it.”

I heard her, but it didn’t make that shit hurt any less. Despite what she did, she was part of my family, and I loved her. How was I supposed to explain to my son that his grandmother killed herself when he was old enough? It was going to be hard enough explaining that his birthday and his mother’s death fell on the same day. I couldn’t explain that too.

Neha held my face and stared into my eyes. “We’re gonna take care of her, just like you promised. When she’s back here, I can help you plan a funeral so you and KJ can properly say goodbye. If your dad is okay with it, we can bury her in the mausoleum, right next to Donna and her husband.”

“You would help me with that?”

She smiled softly. “I love you, Kerrion. I would do anything for you. You don’t have to tell me how much she meant to you. I can see it. I know you well enough to know that you want to properly lay her to rest. If you can’t be a part of it, I’ll take on the responsibility.”

I palmed her face and pecked her lips. “Thank you, baby.”

“You’ve got me, so it’s only right that I have you. We’re gonna get through this. As sad as it is, the important thing is KJ being home safe.”

I nodded as I sat up. “He called you mama.”

She blushed. “He called me mama.”

“How are you feeling about that?”

“I’m honored. He’ll never be treated like anything less than my son. You know this means you can never get rid of me, right?”

I smiled softly for the first time in days. “I wouldn’t try.”

THREE MONTHS LATER

I saton the sidelines along with my sister, Ms. Tavia and her family, the Dillinger clan, and my parents. It was awards day at Nayelli’s school, and we had packed out a whole section of the school gym. I didn’t miss some of the nervousness of some of the attendees as they walked past us. It was clear that even when this family was just minding their black ass business, someone would always be uneasy around them.

As for my sister and I, we’d settled right in with them. Well, Dinah was already a perfect fit in the family. She was just as loud and rowdy as the rest of them. While I was more reserved, the girls made me feel right at home.

They’d become my sisters and his brothers my brothers. Once they got comfortable with me, I endured the roasting alongwith everyone else. It wasn’t just me. Dinah got the tongue lashings too, but my sister was always ready to hand somebody their ass.

She and Kaylynn had made things official. I guess both of us were in love because neither of us were ever at our house anymore. We’d all but moved onto the compound. After everything that happened, I just wanted to be where I knew we were safe. Besides, Nayelli was stuck to her brother and father like glue after the kidnapping, and so was I.

Kerrion was doing much better than he initially was with Ms. Anita’s death. True to my word, I planned a nice funeral service for her because it became too much for him. Her other family members were respectful when they showed up. They offered apologies for what she’d done and expressed how sorry they were for not being more active to aid in her grief.

We placed her right next to Donna and Mr. Donald.

That was one thing I wanted to do for her. Deep in my heart, I knew she wasn’t coming out of this alive. She’d taken it too far and the only place for her to go was to jail, a mental institution, or a grave herself. When I brought it up to Kerrion about claiming the bodies, he said he wanted to move Donna to the mausoleum. I told him I’d take care of it, so I got with his grandmother to talk it over. My heart wouldn’t let me not at least asked if we could move her father with her and if I came to it, he mother too.

Grams agreed and made the necessary calls.

I prayed that Ms. Anita had peace now that she was resting with them. Kerrion had officially introduced me to Donna once everyone started leaving the funeral. It was just me, him, and the kids sharing a private moment. He looked somewhat nervous, so I grabbed his hand and kissed it.

“Whenever you’re ready,” I said.

He gave a soft smile and kissed my temple before turning to Donna’s crypt.

“D, . . . I know it’s been a minute since we had a talk. A lot’s been going on . . . a whole lot. I should have done this sooner, but I guess now is better than never. This is Neha, and this is my baby girl, Nayelli.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Ms. Donna,” Nayelli said, touching the crypt. “We’re taking good care of KJ. Don’t you worry.”

I smiled as I touched the crypt as well. “I wish we could have met under different circumstances. Just know that your baby boy and your best friend are in good hands. I know I didn’t birth him, but I love KJ, and I will forever shower him with all the love you aren’t here to give him. We will never let him forget you. I promise you that.”