Page 155 of Steel

“Donna! Donna, baby, I’m right here! I’m not going anywhere!”

My heart dropped as they wheeled her away. Finally, I allowed the nurse to lead me to the waiting room. She had me fill out all the important paperwork, then it was a waiting game. For what seemed like forever, I paced the waiting room floor, wringing my hands together.

At one point, I felt a tightness in my chest that stopped me in my tracks. My hand flew to my heart the same time as that familiar nurse appeared with a solemn look on her face. Slowly, she approached me and took my hands.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

I shook my head. “No.”

“She had a uterine atony. Her muscles didn’t contract to close the placental blood vessels, and it caused her to hemorrhage. We did everything we could.”

“No!” I screamed, grabbing her arms. “Oh God, no!”

She wrapped her arms around me in a strong hug. I didn’t have the strength to hold myself up, as my knees gave way, and I slid to the floor in a fit of screams and tears. She couldn’t be gone. She just . . . she couldn’t be gone.

A tear slipped down my cheek as I opened my eyes. I relived that moment far too often. I’d tried grief counseling, and it wasn’t working. I just couldn’t pull myself out of this heartbreak.

The sound of the door creeping out front broke me from my thoughts. Nobody was supposed to be here. We didn’t rent this place out, and the nearest neighbor was three miles away.

I sprang from the window seat and over to my purse. Rummaging inside, I grabbed my gun and waited for the intruder to show themselves. Heavy footsteps approached, causing me to wrap my finger around the trigger.

My breath hitched as Kerrion and his father stepped into the room.

“Stay back!” I demanded, scooping KJ up from the bed with my gun still trained on them.

He stepped closer. “Ms. Anita, I don’t want to hurt you. I just want my son.”

“You can’t have him. He-he’s mine. He’s all I have!”

“Ms. Anita, . . . I’m his father. He needs me, and I need him. Donna wouldn’t want this for you.”

“Don’t you speak on her!” I screamed, causing KJ to stir. “You moved on! You have a child with another woman! While you’re happy, I’m fucking drowning!” Tears streamed down my face as I stared at him. “You get to enjoy the life of your child while I have to mourn the loss of mine. I can’t hold her. I can’t kiss her. I can’t do anything! I have nothing left of her but him! I just . . . I needed him.”

“You don’t get to take my child because you lost yours.”

“You have another one! You have that woman that looks like Donna. The two of you can always make another baby. I don’t have that luxury!”

KJ started to cry, breaking my focus. I gently bounced him in my arms while kissing his temple.

“It’s okay, baby. It’s okay. Grandma’s here.”

I held him against my chest, crying profusely.

“Look at what you’re doing to him, Ms. Anita,” Kerrion said softly. “He’s stressed, and that’s not good for him. I know you love him. I understand how important he is to you, but this isn’t the way. You have to give him back.”

I shook my head. “I can’t . . . You’re gonna kill me as soon as I hand him over.”

“I love you. I could never bring myself to hurt you.”

I looked up at him. “Is that why you brought your father? To have him do it?”

“I’m here for emotional support,” Senior said. “My son just wants to help you, Anita.”

“You’re trying to trick me!”

“No, we aren’t. Just let me have KJ. He doesn’t need to see this.”

I clutched a screaming KJ to my chest and continued to shake my head. I didn’t want to scare him, but I just couldn’t let him go.