Page 147 of Steel

Three days was how long I’d been without my baby, and the shit was tearing me up inside. I couldn’t eat. I hadn’t been to sleep. All I wanted to do was rage and cry.

Donna’s body had been moved to the family mausoleum where I knew she’d be safe. Quaid and Jaeda had been working around the clock to find something, anything that would lead us to my son. There was no paper trail other than the fact she emptied out her accounts. I couldn’t track her because she was smart enough to leave her phone behind. That let me know she planned to be off the grid.

I’d gone to the home of every single person in her contact list, and no one knew a thing. They hadn’t heard from or seen her.Jaeda pulled their phone records and found no calls from Ms. Anita leading up to their disappearance.

She and Quaid were able to access the camera footage from the surrounding neighbors and saw what kind of car she left in. The thing was, it matched a thousand other cars like it, and it didn’t have plates. Still, Pops had our contact at the police station put out a BOLO on it and an Amber Alert on KJ.

My baby’s face plastered all over the news was the last thing I wanted to see. If this were any other circumstance, we would have handled this shit completely in-house. We could cover up a missing adult, but there was no way we could cover a missing child.

I still couldn’t believe that Ms. Anita had done this shit. Of all the things she could have done, she went this route with my child. I would have felt better if she’d taken me to court for custody versus just taking my son and disappearing.

I kept playing our interactions over and over in my head, looking for something that would have given me even an inkling that she was planning this. I acknowledged her grief. I just didn’t see it playing out like this. I was a ticking timebomb at this point. If I didn’t find KJ soon, I was going to explode.

“Daddy?”

I turned my head to see Nayelli standing at the end of the trampoline. I quickly ashed my blunt and put it away.

“Hey, baby girl,” I said, solemnly.

“Can I lay with you?”

I motioned for her to join me, and she climbed on, then nuzzled into my side, resting her head on my chest.

“I miss KJ.”

“I know, baby. I miss him too.”

When Neha and I told her about him, she broke down, and that shit further killed me.

“You promise we’re gonna get him back?”

“I’m gonna do everything I can to find him.”

“Do you think she will hurt him?”

I swallowed hard. “I hope not.”

I didn’t believe Ms. Anita would intentionally hurt KJ. I knew she loved him, but in her state of mind, anything could happen to him. I’d been thinking about what I’d do to her when we found her. Could I really bring myself to kill my son’s grandmother? Could I allow my people to kill her? It was clear that she needed mental help, not to be murdered.

I promised Donna that if anything ever happened to her, I’d take care of her mom. I’d been doing that. I paid off her house and car, plus I gave her money every month. I called to check on her, when I couldn’t stop by, and sent her flowers every week. If she ever needed anything, she was free to reach out to me.

“Daddy, you’re crying,” Nayelli said, sitting up.

I quickly wiped my face. “I’m okay.”

“Grandpa Stanley said it’s okay for men to cry because you have feelings and you hurt too.”

“I know, baby.”

“You can cry on my shoulder.”

She patted her shoulder and opened her little arms to me. I would never deny her a hug, so I rested my head on her shoulder and wrapped my arms around her.

“It’s okay, Daddy,” she said, patting my back. “I got you.”

When she kissed my head like I always did her and KJ, my shoulders involuntarily began to shake. I loved this little girl so fucking much. She hadn’t been in my life long, but she had no idea how much she was saving me right now. Before she came out, I was close to leaving the house to find something or someone to take my anger out on. The way I was feeling, I was sure to fuck some shit up.

“Everything okay?” I heard behind us.