Page 149 of Steel

“Kerrion Jamel Dillinger!”

“What!” I yelled, turning around.

My father immediately grabbed her because I knew better than to yell at my mother. My siblings parted like the Red Sea, each of them looking in different directions.

“Let me go, Stanley,” my mother said calmly.

“I can’t do that, Tay.”

“I’m not gonna hurt him. He wants to take a drive, then we’re gonna take a drive. Let. Me. Go.”

Pops released her, raising his hands in surrender. She cracked her neck as she took steps toward me. Tavia Jenkins was small compared to me, but her bark was nothing compared to her bite. As soon as she made it to me, she grabbed me by the collar and yanked me to her.

She was damn near nose to nose with me as she spoke lowly. “Don’t you ever in your fucking life disrespect me like that, you hear me?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, what!”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She grabbed my ear and dragged me to the door. “Come get your ass in this car. Senior!”

I could hear Pops’ heavy footsteps behind us as she opened the door and continued to drag me by the ear.

“Ouch, Ma. Damn!”

She stopped and grabbed my lips, twisting them like she used to when I was a chap.

“And watch your goddamn mouth! I keep telling y’all I’m not one of your little friends. Open my damn door.”

She mushed me as she released my lips. I stared at her for a moment before walking to her car and opening the door. She climbed into the driver’s seat.

“Get your ass in here. Front seat, in case I have to backhand your ass. Senior, get in the back.”

She slammed the door so hard I thought the window might shatter.

“You heard her,” Pops said, opening the back door.

I kissed my teeth as I opened the passenger side and climbed in. Putting on my seat belt, I reclined my seat and closed my eyes. I could hear my mother chuckle as she pulled off but knew she found nothing funny. We rode in silence for a little while before my mother pulled off on the side of the road. She turned to me and grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at her.

“I’m sorry you’re going through this,” she said softly. “My heart hurts for you and KJ. I know you feel helpless. You have the right to be upset. You have the right to be scared and angry. Cry as much as you need to. But you cannot give up. You have to be strong because that little boy needs you. Where you can’t be strong, you have an entire family that will give you their strength. Stop pushing us away.”

“She took my son, Ma. I’m his father. I failed to do the one thing I was put on this Earth to do and that was protect him.”

“Stop putting this on you. There’s no way you could’ve known she would’ve done anything like this. You left your son with someone that you loved and trusted. Someone that loved him.”

Tears swelled in my eyes. “I got this feeling the day that I left him with her. I thought it was just the weight of everything going on, but that was my gut telling me to take my son with me. I didn’t listen. I should have listened.”

Pops gripped my shoulder. “You have been through a lot the last year, Son. Given your circumstances, that was an easy sign to miss.”

“My instincts?—”

“You will learn that as a parent, you don’t always get shit right. I fucked up plenty of times as a father. Your mother made her share of mistakes too. We’re human, and it’s gonna happen. That doesn’t mean you failed your children. You are a greatfather, Kerrion. I know you would give your life for KJ or Nayelli, same as your mother and I would give our life for you.”

I didn’t say anything for a minute, just stared ahead. Maybe I missed the signs, but there had to be something to give us a clue as to where she could have taken my son. I couldn’t think straight right now, but I knew in my spirit, there was something.

“Can you take me to her house, Ma?” I asked.