Page 67 of Sinful as They Come (Sinful Trilogy #1)

SAWYER

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!” I kicked every piece of furniture that dared to cross my path. Shitty dining table, old chair, second hand coffee table. All of it was a reminder that I wasn’t good enough, that I wasn’t the man Holly needed and deserved.

No. I was exactly what everyone called me. I was trailer park trash through and through. My hands grabbed at my hair, running them roughly through my locks and ruining any of that tidy, sleek look I had forced upon myself before I left for Holly’s house earlier.

Holly .

Fuck.

Why couldn’t I be it for her? Why couldn’t I be that guy?

I was screwed from day one. I didn’t have the chance to be the guy she deserved.

It wasn’t fair. I was so ready to give my all to her.

Every bit of my life. But what was there to give?

One day she would want more. One day she would meet someone who could give her that million-dollar life.

That guy wasn’t me.

A knock at the door had me lifting my head up. Brodie wasn’t going to be back until tomorrow night. Maybe Holly’s dad had followed me. Maybe he wanted to punch me in the face for the last few words I had said to him.

I was ready to say more. I was ready to kick his ass even if it meant getting sued to hell and back. Standing up and taking quick steps to the trailer door, I snatched it open .

And there stood Holly with wet eyes, the sun slowly setting behind her.

“Sawyer.” She broke the silence.

It felt so good to hear my name on her pretty lips. But I didn’t deserve that. I didn’t deserve her. Tonight was proof of that. Everything her dad said was the truth. I didn’t want him to be right, but those were the facts. And I didn’t want to ruin Holly’s life.

“Go home,” was all I said to Holly. I turned around, not wanting to look into her eyes.

I couldn’t . It was too hard. Instead I leaned on the kitchen counter.

But I could still hear her sigh from behind me.

She wasn’t leaving. “Holly, go home before your parents call the cops,” I muttered, still not turning around.

She sighed. “What, you’re not even gonna look at me?”

No. That’s too fucking hard.

“Holly…” I said lowly. My voice was weak. I was exhausted. And defeated. “Just go.”

“I’m not leaving until we talk.”

Fuck, she was stubborn. Always knew how to argue when it came to me.

“Your parents are gonna get pissed if you’re gone,” I said firmly. “Just go home.”

“And then what?” she snapped. “We never talk again? We pretend like none of this ever happened? That you and me… Sawyer, you said you loved me!”

“I do!”

“Why didn’t you fight for me then?” I head a cry in her voice. Pain. Anger. Disappointment.

I finally spun around to look at her, seeing the total sadness on her face. Her arms were wrapped around herself, her lips were trembling, and her eyes wet and red. She didn’t deserve to look like that. Out of everyone in the fucking world, Holly was the last person who deserved to be crying.

“You think I didn’t want to?” I asked.

“You just left!”

“Everything your dad said was right!” I let out.

“I wanted to fight for you. So fucking bad. But what’s the point?

You’re gonna do what he said. Go off to college.

Meet some rich asshole with rich parents.

He’s gonna give you everything. The house you should be living in.

The clothes you should be wearing. The life you should have.

I can’t…” I shook my head, pushing my heavy hands through my hair.

“I can’t give you that perfect life. You’re gonna end up getting bored of me eventually.

I don’t want you… I don’t want you to resent me, Holly. I don’t want you to hate me again!”

“Do you really think that’s the kind of person I am?” she asked with a whisper. She sounded offended.

“You deserve the fucking best.”

“You are the best.”

“Didn’t you hear what your dad said? You think Trailer Park Trash is the one for you? Why would you settle for me when you’re going to be going to lectures with some fucking trust fund prick?”

“Because I wouldn’t be settling!” she cried out. “You are perfect for me, Sawyer. You’re the one that I want. There’s no amount of money that could change that. I don’t care what you have or don’t have. None of that is important to me.”

I shut my eyes. “What about next year? What about college? What about when you graduate? What about—”

“I’ll still be in love with you!” she said. “College, after college, years after that. No matter when, no matter what. Sawyer, I will still love you.”

The words went straight to my heart. It ached and stung and soared at the same time. “I don’t wanna fuck your life up. I just wanna give you everything I can.”

“I know you, Sawyer. I’ve seen your heart. How you take care of me, how you protect me, how you make me feel like I’ve never felt before.” She pressed her hands to her chest, letting out a shaky sigh. “Nothing could beat that. Nothing and no one. I promise you.”

“I’m already in love with you, Holly,” I sighed.

“And this right here already stings. My whole body hurts right now, not just my fucking heart. I don’t even want to know what it’ll feel like, I dunno, a year from now?

When you’re off at school and I’m… what, stuck here?

Doing what? Stuck in this shitty trailer?

And you’re out having classes with fucking future CEOs and la wyers and all that?

You’re gonna get bored of me. You’re gonna wake up and realize that I was never good enough for you to begin with. ”

“You think that?” she spoke up louder, stepping over to me.

“Do you actually think that? Sawyer, I thought these past few months have shown you that I’m more than some dumb stereotype!

Haven’t you learned anything about me? Don’t you think I’m better than that?

I love you! I love every part of you! I don’t want you to change and I don’t want someone else and I’m not going to fall for anyone else because I love you!

All of you! Even the things you don’t like!

Especially the things you don’t like, because that’s what makes you better than everyone else! I don’t need perfect. I just need you!”

I didn’t know what it was. Maybe it was the emotion in her voice. Or the pure truth that I could see in her eyes. Maybe it was because I had been dying to feel her up against me all night long and I finally had the chance to do it.

She was right. Fuck, she was right, and I was an idiot, and I should have just kicked Holly’s dad’s ass and told him to get fucked.

I couldn’t throw it all away. I needed her.

I needed Holly in my life. Every day, every night.

I needed her close. Her smile, her voice, her eyes.

Every part of her. I couldn’t let some other man take her from me.

I wouldn’t . I didn’t care how much money he had in the bank. Holly was mine. She was my girl.

And I was gonna prove to her that I could be everything she wanted and needed.

I reached down, grabbing Holly by her hips and pulling her into me. Then my lips crashed to hers and I literally groaned at how soft she felt. She whimpered against me, her hands quickly making their way to my hair. A grunt left my mouth. God, I loved it when she played with my hair.

“Fuck, princess,” I muttered against her lips, my hands holding her hips tight. “I need this so bad. I need to feel you. I need to fill you up, princess.”

“I just wanna be yours,” she whimpered. “No one else’s. You’re the only one I ever want like this. Just you. Just you and your hands and your body and your… ”

She couldn’t say the word.

“My cock?” I suggested, licking at my lips.

“Mm, yeah.” She nodded eagerly.

“Say it. Say you want my cock.”

“I want your cock. I want it so bad. Please, please, please give me your cock.”

My length twitched. The filthy words sounded so good on her plump lips.

I was gonna show her. I had already shown her – but I was gonna show her that no one could fuck her better than I could.

It was me. I was the only one who knew where to touch her, how to make her cum, how to make her tremble, how to make her pretty eyes roll into the back of her head.

I was going to prove to Holly that I was the only man she needed.

Picking her up, Holly gasped as her legs wrapped around me. My hands stayed on her ass, holding her steady until I had her on the bed, her dark hair sprawled against my pillows.

“Get that stupid tie off,” she said as she stared up at me.

Laughing lowly, I finally pulled the fake silk tie off, letting it hit the floor.

My hands quickly pulled down the buttons of my long-sleeve shirt and it joined my tie a second later.

Then my focus was all on Holly. On the way her legs spread as I kneeled on the bed.

My hands ran up her thighs under her dress, not stopping until I felt her panties.

Grunting, I pulled them down her legs and shoved them into my pocket.

I pushed the hem of her dress up, exposing her perfect pussy.

The pussy I was going to spend the rest of my life worshipping, and making certain no other man got near.

I licked at her. She shuddered quickly, grabbing at my hair as I began to suck at her clit.

Fuck, she tasted good. And it was all for me too.

Holly dripped into my mouth, my tongue collecting her wetness as I took care of her clit.

Every whine she let out just made me want her more.

I didn’t stop until Holly was cumming for me. Until she screamed out my name, my tongue lightly licking at her sensitive clit as she came down from her orgasm .

“That’s my good girl,” I muttered, kissing her sweet pussy. “You ready to cum again, princess?”

“Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes,” she said with a moan.