Page 25 of Sinful as They Come (Sinful Trilogy #1)

SAWYER

I had never wanted a cigarette so bad in my life.

I puffed at the thin stick, my eyes shutting slowly.

Leaning my whole body up against the solid wall of the side of the cabin, I deeply inhaled.

A moan fell from my lips. God, I needed that.

Especially after seeing Carter with his hands all over Holly.

That shouldn’t have pissed me off as much as it had.

I had no idea what it was. Maybe it was because he was such an obnoxious, little prick.

I hated him. I really did. The way he was touching her.

The way he had her in his lap. The way he had been on the fucking phone to some girl just minutes earlier.

Yeah, Holly didn’t know that, and Carter wasn’t fessing up anytime soon.

Either way, what the fuck was going through his mind?

He had a girlfriend. A girlfriend that seemed to worship the ground he walked on, and he still couldn’t keep his dick in his pants.

How the hell do you get lucky enough to have the prettiest girl in school agree to be your girlfriend and then you still cheat on her?

Fuck. What was I thinking? Prettiest girl in school? I pushed my hair back, hoping that pulling at the strands would force some sense into me. She didn’t mean anything to me. Not a thing.

I was very much enjoying the peace and quiet.

There was nothing but trees around me and a cold breeze in the air.

Something I needed since my skin felt so warm.

The cabin entrance was right around the corner, but I had chosen to stay hidden in the dark shadows of the sides of the building.

I just wanted some privacy before I went back inside.

But then I heard hushed whispers. Then footsteps. They got closer and closer, and for a second, I thought it was Brodie.

“Carter,” I heard Holly whimper.

My eyes flew open.

Fuck.

“Yeah?” I heard Carter mumble back.

Fuck again. They must not have seen me.

They sounded like they were kissing. And I was standing there, hidden right around the corner from them, looking like a fucking pervert.

If they saw me, Holly would have a new negative thing to add to her list of why she hated me so much.

Carter didn’t even need an excuse. I just did my best to stay quiet.

“Carter,” she sighed. “What are you doing?”

“I just can’t keep my hands off you, baby,” Carter answered.

I exhaled sharply. What a fucking loser.

“But… But everyone is down by the fire. They’ll see us,” she whined.

“All the way up here? They’re not gonna see us. Don’t be stupid. Come on. Come kiss me.”

I heard the hideous sound of Carter’s moans while Holly seemed to just… stay silent. I rolled my eyes. How long was I supposed to listen to the worst free porn show ever? Then I heard yet another soft whimper and then a grunt. An angry grunt.

“What are you doing?” Carter snapped. “Come on.”

“Carter, we can’t do this here,” Holly murmured. She sounded upset.

“What do you mean? I thought this is what you were waiting for. Carter, I want my first time to be romantic. Carter, I want our first time to be special,” he mimicked what I assumed were Holly’s words.

“Well, here we are, Holly. Under the stars and all that shit. I thought being in the outdoors was your dream date or whatever.”

Wait. Holly was a virgin? I didn’t like to spend any spare time thinking about Holly in that sense, but in the back of my head I always assumed she had given it up for Carter. But she hadn’t apparently. Apparently she was absolutely untouched. The fact interested me more than it should have.

“I said a picnic in the countryside was my dream date,” Holly sighed. “And yes, I want our first time to be romantic. As in: with a bed. And maybe a roof if that’s not asking for too much. Not out here up against a wall.”

“Then let’s go inside already.”

“But someone could walk in and see us.”

“Well, we’ll shut the door.”

“But I don’t want to have to worry about that. I just… I want it to be you and me. That’s it.”

“Do you see anyone else here, Holly?”

My eyebrows rose at that. I even felt like a pervert at that point. But I wasn’t the asshole who couldn’t take no for an answer. Holly should have kicked him in the balls and told him to get fucked. I was cheering for her to do that.

“No, but…” Holly sighed. “I just… I just want it to be special. I don’t wanna rush it. I don’t want our friends all around. Can’t we wait until it’s just me and you?”

“I am so sick of waiting. How long do you expect me to wait for, Holly? Every time it’s something. Some other excuse. I have needs. When the fuck are you gonna meet them?”

There was silence. My eyebrows furrowed as I imagined Holly being her usual confident self: the type that didn’t take shit from me, so why the fuck would she take it from him? But all I heard was a cry. A soft one. But it was there. It was the first time I had ever heard Holly cry.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m just not ready yet. I will be. I promise. I’m just… I’m waiting—"

“You’re waiting for the right time. Yeah. I’ve heard that one before. You’re waiting for the right time or the right guy , Holly? Because if it’s the second one… Then it seems like you don’t think I’m the one for you.”

“Are you crazy? Carter, I love you. I love you so much, I’m just not… I’m just not ready to have sex yet. I will be. I swear I will be.”

“If you loved me, you’d show me, Holly. You never show me…”

Holly said nothing. Again. Holy shit, why wasn’t she punching him in the jaw and kicking him in the nuts?

My fists balled at his words. At the manipulative shit he was spewing right to her face, and how she was doing nothing to stand up for herself.

I couldn’t believe it, but even I thought she deserved better than that.

“I love you so much…” Holly sniffled. “I don’t want you to be upset with me…”

“Baby, if you love me, and if you wanna make it up to me… Then come inside… Show me how much you love me…”

I couldn’t fucking take it anymore. He kept coming up with more and more bullshit and I was ready to hit something. Or someone.

Putting my cigarette out, I turned around the corner, watching as Carter jumped and narrowed his eyes at me. Holly let out a little gasp, obviously startled by my sudden appearance. I didn’t miss the way she quickly wiped at her eyes. She wasn’t quick enough, though.

I pretended like I hadn’t noticed. But I wasn’t going to forget. I had seen her brown eyes glistening, even in the dark. I had never seen her like that, looking so damn hurt.

“Annie made me come up here and get you,” I lied.

“Annie?” Holly asked softly. “Oh.”

The relief in her voice was easy to notice. I could see it on her face too. Her voice sounded lighter, less strained. All it took was someone else to be there for her to feel better around her shitty boyfriend – and it was someone she fucking hated. What did that say about Carter? About her?

“Weren’t you supposed to be on a walk?” Carter asked, suspicion in his voice. “What the fuck are you doing up here by the cabin?”

I rolled my eyes, but that was just because I needed more time to come up with an excuse that actually made sense. “Yeah, and then I walked back to the fire, and Holly’s dumb friend wouldn’t shut up about her. That’s why I’m here.”

“Then how did you beat us up here?” Carter kept interrogating me. Dude was pissed I cock blocked him, but I couldn’t care less. “I didn’t even see you walking.”

“That’s because you’re an idiot, Carter,” I said bluntly .

Carter jolted forward and I stood there with narrowed eyes, more than ready to fight. He would lose. He must have known that. That was why he stopped himself in his tracks.

“Annie wants me?” Holly spoke up finally. Her voice was so quiet. No confidence, no spark. Not how she was with me when we argued. It was strange seeing her so timid.

“Yeah, she won’t shut up, so could you go see her? She forced me up here.” I shrugged. “Your friend’s annoying. Go deal with her.”

Holly cleared her throat and nodded at me before looking at Carter. “I’m gonna go see what she wants. Do you—"

“God, whatever, Holly. Why do I even bother with you?” he muttered at her.

He turned around, his shoulder barging right into hers like he was on the football field or something.

It took me just a second to step forward.

What I was doing, I didn’t know. All I understood was that I felt a new kind of anger take over my body.

Who the fuck did he think he was touching her like that?

“Hey!” I growled.

Holly quickly stepped in front of me, blocking me from getting to her pussy of a boyfriend. She stared at me, eyes wide and wet as she placed her hands on my chest.

“Don’t,” she whispered.

“ Don’t ?” I stared down at her.

“Please. Just don’t.” Her voice was panicked. Truly panicked. That was the only time I had ever heard her sound so terrified.

I huffed, letting Carter walk away, watching as he went back to the fire. If we were back home, he’d probably be hunting down some cheerleader to cheat on Holly with. And if we were back home without Holly in the way, I would have made him bleed.

I was still breathing heavy, anger finding a home in my body. It had been there before. It wasn’t a stranger to me. But I had never been furious on Holly’s behalf before.

“Why do you let that asshole treat you like that?” I asked her .

“What?” She gasped, turning back around to face me. She still sounded like she was on the verge of sobbing right in front of me.

“You have no problem fighting me. But him?” I pointed back to the fire. “What the fuck happens to you when he acts like that? Where the hell does all that confidence go?”

She blinked at me. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I shook my head with a sarcastic laugh. “I can’t believe I’m saying this to you: but holy shit, you’re smarter than this.”

“Carter’s a good boyfriend.” She sounded desperate to convince herself. “He’s… He’s sweet and kind and romantic and—"

“He tried to fuck you up against a wall in the middle of nowhere.” I gestured to the trees around us. “Christ, Holly, why don’t you dump that asshole?”

“Because I love him. And he loves me. Couples that love each other don’t break up just because of a silly, little argument.”

“ Does he love you?” I asked before I could take it back. I watched her face closely. Her eyes widened. Why did she have to have those doe eyes for? Those ridiculous Bambi eyes that made me feel bad for her?

She wrapped her arms around herself. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

I opened my mouth and no words came out. I couldn’t say it. Jesus, I hated her with everything in me, but that was the one thing I could never say to her – about how her boyfriend was a cheating asshole who was fucking every girl he came across.

“I… I don’t know,” I finally managed to let out. “It doesn’t matter.”

“What the hell were you doing listening to our conversation anyway?” Holly asked, voice accusing as ever.

Oh, now she was mad at me. Of course. “I was here first. Then you and your little desperate-to-get-his-dick-sucked boyfriend came along. I just wanted a fucking cigarette. Don’t blame me.”

“You’re a creep.” She shook her head.

“You think I wanted to listen to that shit?” I laughed. “I just hope and pray I can forget what I heard tonight.”

“You could have walked away, you know? ”

“I was here first. Enjoying my cigarette.”

“You still could have walked away!”

“Jesus Christ,” I grumbled. “How am I getting the blame for this shit? For something I didn’t do?”

“I wasn’t blaming you for anything!”

“Well, it sure fucking sounds like it.”

“I was just saying that…” Her voice trailed off, her eyes on the grass.

“That what?” I lifted an eyebrow when her sentence went nowhere. “You wanna get mad at me? Is that it? You want someone to take that anger out on?”

She shook her head. “I’m not angry.”

“Nah, I think you are. You can scream at me all you fuckin’ want, but that’s not gonna change the fact that your asshole boyfriend doesn’t love you in the fuckin’ slightest.”

Her lips trembled as she looked up at me and her big eyes quickly turned all shiny. Both things were a sure-fire sign that she was about to cry. And then she literally let out a choked sob. Holly ran by me, sprinting away from me as she took off into the dark, never-ending forest.