Page 44 of Sinful as They Come (Sinful Trilogy #1)

He turned to face me, his eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

I shoved my fork into a piece of chicken, avoiding his gaze.

“I mean… All the other times… With Carter. At Alden Lake, and at the party… You kept saying the same thing. That I’m smarter than this.

I think I needed someone to make me realize that.

I wish I had been able to force myself to wake up earlier.

Especially at Alden Lake when Carter was acting like an…

” My voice trailed off, not quite sure what to label his actions as.

“Entitled, pushy prick?” Sawyer huffed, his eyes growing dark for a moment.

I smacked my lips together. “That sums it up. I was so upset that night. The way he was treating me… The way he wouldn’t let up. You helped me. You didn’t have to do—”

“Yes, I did,” Sawyer said sternly. “You think because we didn’t get along I wouldn’t help you with something like that?”

There was a key word there. Didn’t . Past tense. But I didn’t bring it up.

“Well, either way,” I carried on, “you could have laughed right in my face. You could have laughed at my tears, but you didn’t. You helped.”

“Because you didn’t deserve that,” Sawyer mumbled. “And I hate seeing girls cry.”

I frowned. “You hate seeing girls cry?” That was an unexpected fun fact about Sawyer Westbrook.

“It’s dumb,” he said with a mutter, looking away from my gaze.

“I promise I won’t judge.”

“There’s a reason why you and me always fought over stupid shit. You always stood up for yourself too. You were never afraid to get in my face. But I never pushed you about anything serious. I never brought up anything that would really hurt you.”

Carter, I thought. He knew about that, but he never shoved it in my face despite all the opportunities he had.

“Seeing girls cry… It brings out this… Protective side of me,” he explained.

“It makes me wanna drop everything and help ‘em. If I have to kick someone’s ass, then I’ll do it.

And when I saw you that night, knowing what Carter was doing to you, and then I saw your face.

.. I wanted to kill him. Right then and there,” Sawyer hissed, shifting in his seat. “I should have done it.”

“Then you’d be in prison, and not just dealing with a suspension,” I said.

“Worth it. Absolutely worth it.”

“I had no idea I was going to learn that Sawyer Westbrook hates seeing girls cry today,” I told him softly. Who knew he was so sensitive? “I mean that in a good way.”

Sawyer rubbed at his face. “I think it comes back to my mom.”

“What… What happened?” It was none of my business, but he kept bringing her up, and I wanted to learn more about Sawyer. “If you don’t mind me asking…”

There was silence for a while, and for a second I regretted the question, but Sawyer finally spoke up.

His voice was so low, so quiet. “Her and my dad would fight every day,” Sawyer mumbled, his green eyes on the table.

“About everything. Money, his drinking, the bills, the rent. I was young, but I remember all the arguments. The screaming. How violent it could get.” Sawyer hands turned into fists on the table.

“I wanted to protect her. I wanted so badly to look after her. But I was a fucking kid. She tried to deal with him. But she got sick of his shit. Most people are sick of his shit. She took off one day. I don’t blame her.

I’d run away from my dad too. But fuck… I wish she could have taken me with her.

She got re-married eventually. I’ve tried to reach out to her.

She wants nothing to do with her old life.

I can’t even hate her for it. I wish I could. It would make me miss her less…”

My eyes felt wet. God, was I crying? I blinked, not wanting to make the situation about myself. My hand landed on Sawyer’s and squeezed at it and his eyes finally met mine. Sawyer was so much more than I had realized. Why hadn’t I seen it sooner ?

“I’m sorry,” I said quietly. “I don’t know what else to tell you. I’m sorry you had to go through that. And I’m sorry your mom had to deal with it as well. Life hasn’t been fair to you. I wish I could change that for you. I wish I could make things better…”

Sawyer’s green eyes ran up and down my body for a moment. “It would be nice if we all just got what we wanted, huh?”

We spent the rest of the late afternoon eating, and when it was time to do the dishes, Sawyer practically banished me to the dining room.

Part of me wanted to see what his bedroom looked like; instead I focused on placing the remaining stir fry into some takeaway containers so he’d have left overs.

When we were done, Sawyer walked me to my car.

“Thanks for this,” Sawyer said, hands stuffed into his jacket pockets. “For the groceries. For the dinner. For the talk…”

I smiled at him. “You’re more than welcome, Sawyer.

Thanks for telling me about your mom.” And then I did something I had never, ever done in my life.

I rested my hands on Sawyer’s broad shoulders, stood on the tips of my toes, and gave him a slow kiss to his cheek.

My lips stayed there on his warm skin. I could feel him tense under my hands, under the soft grip I had on him.

The kiss was soft and lingering, and as I hesitantly pulled away from him, I looked right onto his eyes.

He had such nice eyes…

“Bye,” I said softly.

“Bye, Holly.” His voice was just as low. Just as soft. It was barely a whisper, but suddenly, the noise went straight to my heart.

And as I drove off, the sun setting slowly in the distance, I could have sworn I saw the smallest of smiles on Sawyer’s face in the rear-view mirror. I wanted so badly to see it again and again.