Page 49 of Sinful as They Come (Sinful Trilogy #1)

SAWYER

It had been almost an entire week since me and Holly kissed. And I had spent literally every single day thinking about it. And avoiding her. I couldn’t talk to her… I couldn’t. Not yet. I didn’t know what to say.

I had a hunger for her. For those big eyes and soft lips. For her sweet smile and soft laugh. For her pink cheeks and airy voice.

How the hell did I get addicted to her so quickly?

It was the kiss. And everything else. All those moments we had spent together. Quiet, awkward encounters where I had seen her with frowns and wet eyes. Something I certainly wasn’t used to seeing.

And she had seen me… Bruised by the hands of my own father.

Empty fridge. Empty pantry. Old, worn-out jacket.

A trailer that had seen more bad days than good.

And she still had never judged me for any of that stuff.

Did it not matter to her at all? She had accepted Brodie with a smile and open arms. But me?

Where was the warm welcoming for me the first time we met?

Well, we had history. I was damaged from the get-go.

Bitter and angry and ready to take all of that out on anyone who looked my way.

For some reason, it felt like Holly was always looking.

We had never gotten along. Never saw eye to eye – and how could we ever?

She was the pretty, pristine princess. And I was – as Carter liked to put it – trailer park trash.

That was in the past, though. We had both moved on and apologized for the years and years of fighting and insults and anger .

But…

How the fuck was it ever gonna work? What was I even thinking? Why would it work? Why would Holly ever want someone like me when she could have someone like Carter? I still couldn’t believe how he had someone like her and still managed to throw it all away.

I let out a loud sigh, thankful no one was around to hear it.

It was almost six and the library was close to being deserted.

I didn’t have a shift tonight, but me and Brodie were getting tighter and tighter on money.

My brain felt drained from worrying about paying rent and bills.

Then there was the project that had been consuming so much of my time, and now…

Now the kiss was at the forefront of my mind. Holly wasn’t going anywhere. Truthfully, I didn’t want her to leave. I had been so focused on Holly the last few days. Just her and her only. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to kiss her again and again and feel her right up against me.

I shook my head, noting all the dry paint on my hands as my craving for a cigarette took over.

No smoking in the library. I hated that rule.

My hand dug through my jeans pocket for my lighter, in dire need of that sweet, dangerous smoke.

I made a quick escape out of the room, determined to get to the front as soon as I could.

But then I saw something so much more addicting than a cigarette.

Holly was there. She disappeared in between two bookshelves, and my feet moved before I could control myself. Eagerness was taking over. I needed her close again. I didn’t even hate that part of me anymore. I had accepted the fact that I felt something for Holly that I had never felt before.

Rounding one of the shelves, I stopped in my tracks when I got to her. She stood there, fingers tracing over the spines of a few books. All I could do was watch as she grabbed one and turned around until we were face to face.

Holly stood in front of me like a fucking angel.

Her hair was down, framing her face as the light behind her created an alluring glow.

Her eyes looked brighter thanks to the sun.

I couldn’t tell if she was blushing or if it was just from the late afternoon heat.

All I knew was that what I had said to Brodie the other day was the truth – Holly was the prettiest girl in the fucking world.

“Sawyer… Hi. You’re here kinda late,” she said softly.

“They got me working hard.” I shrugged, offering her a small smile. I had missed the sound of her voice. The soft, sweet, honey-dripping tone. “About to go home now.”

“Oh.”

Was that all she was gonna say?

“Oh?” I mirrored back to her.

“Oh… Okay,” she said with an uncomfortable laugh.

I rubbed at the back of my neck. “You usually have a lot to say, Holly.”

“What do you mean?” She frowned.

I turned to the side, hoping the books would somehow help us through the incredibly tense moment.

“Are we gonna talk about it?” I asked her lowly.

“About what?” She shrugged at me, but her eyes were wide and she was wearing a tiny pout. Holly wasn’t good at playing dumb. She knew exactly what I was talking about, and as uncomfortable as it was, I wasn’t going to shy away from our little encounter.

I sucked in a sharp breath. “Are you mad at me?”

“Mad?” Her head tilted.

“Mad that I kissed you. I’m sorry I did it.

It just… It just happened out of nowhere.

I didn’t… I don’t know why I did it. You were just…

You were there and… If you’re pissed off that I kissed you, then I’m sorry.

I didn’t do it to upset you.” It was a struggle to get the words out.

Holly had every right to be mad at me for kissing her if she didn’t want it.

But… she had kissed me back, and I was clinging on to that fact.

If she kissed me back, did that mean she saw me as more than some desperate piece of trailer park trash?

Holly pressed the book tighter against her chest. She was blinking those big eyes at me and part of me thought she was doing it on purpose, because I couldn’t get enough of them.

“You think I’m mad at you?” she whispered.

“I mean… Yeah. I kissed you outta nowhere. You ran away from me…”

“I kissed you,” she said quickly.

“What?” I chuckled lowly.

“I… I kissed you… I thought you… I thought you didn’t like it. Why would you like it? I… I freaked out. I shouldn’t have run away like that. And it shouldn’t have taken me this long to apologize. So, I’m sorry for… For not saying sorry, and for kissing you.”

The small frown on Holly’s face told me she was being serious. That it wasn’t some weird joke.

“But I kissed you.” I laughed.

“No, I kissed you.”

“I kissed you.”

“I kissed you, Sawyer.”

“But…” My eyebrows furrowed. “No, what are you talking about?”

“What are you talking about? I kissed you and you didn’t like it.”

“Wait, wait, wait.” I held my hands up at that. “What makes you think I didn’t like it?”

“Well, I liked it. I liked it so much and I can’t stop thinking about it, but I didn’t think you’d like it because—”

That was all I needed to hear. That was all I could hear.

Because I was fucking aching for her at that point.

My hands landed on her waist, holding her tight as my lips collided with hers.

The kiss was fast and heated, my tongue pushing into her mouth.

She dropped her book and whined for me. The sound went right to my cock.

I couldn’t help it when my fingers pressed into her, holding her as tight as I could.

I pushed her backwards, not stopping until I could get her back up against the rows and rows of books behind her. My hands landed on the shelf before me, keeping me and Holly steady as our tongues moved together. Her soft lips, her little whines… I was in heaven. I was kissing a goddamn angel.

Soft hands landed on the sides of my face, moving up further and further until Holly could grab at my hair. She gave my locks a little tug and I groaned against her too perfect lips. Fuck, I wanted her. I needed her. Holly Sutton wasn’t the girl I thought she was.

And I wasn’t the guy I thought I was, because I was so goddamn set on making her mine.

If she wanted to be mine.

“Sawyer,” she whispered when she pulled away from me. Her eyes were wide and bright, her cheeks flushed with the prettiest shade of pink.

My thumb ran over her plump, bottom lips “I’ve been waiting a whole week to do that.”

She let out a shaky breath. “You were?”

I nodded once. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately, actually. More than I’d like to admit. I don’t know what it is about you. But I know I need more of it.”

“I’d be a liar if I told you I wasn’t thinking about you a lot as well… Like, a lot. Sawyer, that kiss. This kiss. They were both so perfect.” She looked down, still blushing as she avoided my gaze.

My finger slipped under her chin, giving her a little push so we’d lock eyes. And God did I love her eyes. “Look at me. Please. I need to look at you. I haven’t seen your face in a week. And my imagination isn’t enough.”

“I haven’t come in to see you because I thought you were angry with me.

And I’m sure you’ve been angry with me plenty of times in the past. You hate me,” she said.

“But it was different this time, because I was feeling so much all at once. I liked the kiss, Sawyer. I liked it so much. I like spending time with you. I like seeing you paint and seeing your art. I like how much you look out for me. How you protect. I like… God, I just really like you. But I know you could never feel the same way.”

I just really like you . My heart stopped. It stopped right then and there and exploded and came back together in a perfect solid piece all at once. And then I felt it fill up with what seemed like pure, unfiltered happiness. Those five words were enough to make me want her even more.

My head tilted as I looked at her. At that sweet, innocent look on her face.

She was being serious. Every word. I could tell.

I knew Holly’s serious side – only because I saw that side of her whenever we got into an argument.

But we weren’t fighting. We were standing in between the shelves of the library after sharing the second-best kiss I had ever experienced in my life.

The first being the kiss I had the other day with Holly .

“You gotta be fucking joking, princess.” I shook my head at her, sporting a small grin.

“What?” She blinked at me. “Aren’t you gonna tell me I’m stupid for feeling the way that I do? That I’m a spoiled, stuck-up brat that disgusts you; and that you could never feel the way that I do?”

My grin widened. “Trust me. It would be a lot easier if you did disgust me.”

Holly had the chance to give me the tiniest of smiles when a loud voice announced the library was about to close and that we all needed to leave. I rolled my eyes, but I kept my arms in place, staring down at Holly.

“I thought you’d be angry at me…” she whispered. “I thought you would never want to kiss someone like me.”

“You can kiss me whenever you want. Trust me, I’m not gonna complain.

” I said the words before I could stop myself.

I was sick of having to hide it at that point.

An idea hit me then. We couldn’t avoid it anymore.

Me and her had to talk. “You wanna get outta here?” I nodded to the side. “I wanna show you something.”

Biting at her bottom lip, Holly eagerly nodded at me.

My hands slowly lowered, squeezing at her own as I pulled her out of the shelves.

It was time to tell Holly. Tonight was the night.