Page 48 of Sinful as They Come (Sinful Trilogy #1)

HOLLY

The last thing I should have ever done was kiss Sawyer Westbrook. Or did he kiss me? Did it matter in the long run?

I pressed my fingers to my lips, still able to feel him.

His soft lips that felt so cool, so calming up against mine.

The way his tongue pushed into my mouth.

The way his chest felt so strong and so broad.

His hands, his arms, his touch, his everything.

I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Not as I scurried out of the library or drove home.

Even now, alone in my bedroom, wondering how I had started off so in love with Carter and now I was…

I didn’t even know how to describe it. All I knew was that Sawyer had defended me more than Carter ever had.

And we hated each other. What did that say about Carter?

About Sawyer? More importantly, what did that say about me?

Why did I ever let Carter walk all over me the way he did?

He really had me wrapped around his finger.

I sighed and pressed my face into my pillows.

It looked like I was hiding out in my bedroom.

Maybe I was. But I didn’t know what else to do except to escape back home.

Laying face down in my bed and pretending like I didn’t really, really enjoy that kiss with Sawyer seemed like the better option.

Because the other option was acknowledging what happened.

But even when I shut my eyes, I still saw Sawyer.

Those deep green eyes. They were so striking.

And he was so handsome. I couldn’t deny that.

In a rugged way. In a way that frustrated me.

A part of me loved how rough and loud and bad he was, how he was the opposite of all the clean cut, perfectly polished country club boys I was supposed to want.

“Holly?”

I flipped over in bed, startled. Why was I on such high alert?

It was my dad behind the door, giving it some gentle knocks.

“Are you alright in there? I saw you running in. Are you okay?” he asked. “Can I come in?”

Letting out a long sigh, I straightened up my dress and sat up properly. My dad was being his usual overprotective self.

“You can come in,” I called out.

He opened the door a few seconds later, a curious stare on his face. He was dressed casually since it was a Sunday. No suits today. Just a polo shirt that I was so used to seeing him in.

“Is there a reason why you came running into the house, looking like you had seen a ghost?” He crossed the room slowly. “It looked like something happened.”

Something did happen, but there was no way I could tell him. The last thing I needed was for him to go into unhinged father territory.

“No, Daddy, I’m fine.” I smiled. “Honestly. I was just in a rush to get home.”

“You were at the library today, right?”

“Uh-huh.” I cleared my throat.

“You’re helping with that big project?”

“Yeah. The, uh, painting.”

“Who’s painting it?”

I blinked at him a couple times. “Sawyer.”

“Sawyer?” He drew the name out, clearly on a search for the last name he didn’t want to hear.

“Westbrook,” I said with the quietest of whispers, hoping he’d think I was saying something else. Like a name that wasn’t attached to such… delinquency.

“Sawyer Westbrook?” my father snapped. “They got that kid down there? Why’d they pick him? ”

“They… They asked him.” I shrugged. “He’s pretty talented.”

“Is he?” He rolled his eyes. “I’ve seen his stuff. Not that great. And they want you to deal with him? Did he do something to you this morning? Is that why you came home with that look on your face?”

“No. Daddy, nothing happened,” I lied. I hated lying, but he was already freaking out.

“If he touches you, you tell me. Or Carter. I’m sure he’d like to deal with that little punk.”

I sighed at the mere mention of Carter. My parents still didn’t know we had broken up.

Dad loved Carter. So did my mom. He was the ideal.

The perfect guy for me. They thought he was perfect, at least. The blond-haired, blue-eyed quarterback with just the right amount of talent to keep his true side hidden when he was around them. He had fooled them. And me.

It was a lot easier to keep the breakup to myself. At least at home I could shy away from all the bad things he had done to me. But at school? Every face and smirk were a reminder that I had been nothing but a joke to Carter.

I sighed loudly, tugging at the corner of one of my pillows. “Carter and I aren’t together anymore.”

“What?” He gasped. He took a seat next to me on the bed, eyes wide as he snatched the pillow from my grasp. “What happened? When did it happen?”

“It’s a long story… We broke up a few weeks ago. I didn’t… I didn’t know how to tell you and Mom. I know you both like him. And I really, really didn’t want to talk about it.”

“What did he do?” Dad asked, his voice laced with accusation.

“He wasn’t the guy I thought he was.” And the fact made me feel like the biggest idiot ever.

“Holly, what did he do?” Dad repeated, his voice lowering.

“He… He was more interested in other girls,” I mumbled, my eyes shutting in a small attempt to control some fresh tears. “Seemed to like them a lot more than he liked me.”

“Oh, Holly.”

I heard him sigh loudly, my eyes still shut tight as he pulled me into his arms. He gave me a soft kiss to the top of my head, holding me to him as I sniffled.

Pressing my face into his shirt, I let him rub at my back in slow circles.

It would sooth the both of us, but it wasn’t going to rip away the pain like I knew he wanted to do.

“You deserve better than that,” he whispered. “Don’t cry over him. Don’t think about him. Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t take care of your heart.”

“I’m trying, but it hurts so much, and I loved him so much, and he doesn’t care, at school he looks at me like he hates me, and I think he does, I think he really hates me, he didn’t care about me at all, not even a little bit, he used me the whole time and now everyone at school thinks I’m a joke, and I don’t know how he gets to break my heart and still be happy, how is that fair? ”

I let it all out. All of it. Dad held me that much tighter, like he was trying to squeeze out all of the misery I was experiencing. The warmth felt good. But I knew the comfort wasn’t going to last forever, and that when dad left eventually, I’d feel that familiar pain in my heart all over again.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he whispered. “Or your mom?”

“Didn’t… Didn’t wanna… Talk about it…” I sniffled. “Was too sad…”

“I’m sorry, honey. I’m sorry he did that to you. That’s not fair at all. I know it hurts now, but I promise you the pain is gonna go away. You’ll forget about him. You’ll forget what he did to you. You’re sad now. You’re allowed to be sad. But this feeling won’t last forever.”

“I loved him so much, though.” I sighed. “And he just looks at me like he wishes he had never met me. Like I’m some huge mistake.”

“He was the one who screwed up. That I promise you. You’ll move on from this.

From him. And I bet you he’s already realized what a huge mistake he’s made.

But you stay away from him. You don’t fall for any of his tricks.

Any pain you’re feeling now will go away.

And Carter will too. And soon, you won’t even remember his name. ”

Pulling away from him, I offered him a small smile. “Thanks.”

“You’ll get over him. Over this. You know you’re getting into Columbia,” he said with warm eyes. “And I’ve got that nice apartment for you to stay in. You know it’s been in the family for years now, and soon, it’ll be all yours. You’re not gonna remember his name by the time you start college.”

I sighed. Of course, Columbia was still so appealing to me, despite me feeling like I should have just given up and let it go. But Sawyer wouldn’t let me give up. And neither would my dad.

“Thank you,” I said softly. “You’re right.”

“Of course I am. I always am. Maybe your mother and I should cancel that trip we have coming up… We can reschedule. I don’t want to leave you alone—”

I shook a hand at him. “No, no. Don’t do that. Go on your trip. I’ll be fine. I promise.”

“Look, you just focus on yourself right now. And don’t forget to stay away from Sawyer. He’s bad news too,” he continued. “Maybe I should talk to Eric and get him taken off the project.”

I jolted. “No! Daddy, Sawyer’s really talented. I saw his painting today. He’s doing an awesome job.”

“Yeah, right.”

“Sawyer’s a lot nicer than you think. He’s a good guy…”

Dad narrowed his eyes at me. “Holly, the kid’s a criminal. Stay away from him. He’s nothing. Nothing . I’m surprised they even have him down there in the first place.”

My heart hurt a little at how cruel he was being. He didn’t know Sawyer. Not the real Sawyer that I had discovered. The one I had kissed and wanted to kiss again and again until my lips were swollen.

“Stay away from him,” my dad said, his voice steady and stern.

I nodded and said nothing. All that did was make me want to see Sawyer more.