Page 12 of Sinful as They Come (Sinful Trilogy #1)

HOLLY

I was too scared to see Carter on Saturday. He needed more time to cool off and I didn’t want to upset him all over again.

My Friday night was restless and I barely got any sleep.

Not just because of Carter, but because of Sawyer’s nonsense as well.

He just tore up that money like it was nothing.

He thought I was doing it to be mean. Like I was being patronizing or something.

But that couldn’t have been further from the truth.

Either way, I just wanted to see my boyfriend.

But I knew he needed time to calm down. He didn’t call me all day on Saturday, but maybe he was waiting for me to make the first move.

I had spent the entire morning all anxious and flighty and had ended up dragging Annie to the spa so we could get facials and manicures and massages in the hopes that I’d leave feeling calmer and less uneasy, but none of that had seemed to help.

That was why I waited until Sunday to talk to him. I was standing outside of Carter’s home with butterflies in my stomach, and I hated that they didn’t feel like the good kind. The kind he used to give me when we first got together.

In my hands was a shopping bag. I brought a bunch of snacks for us. We’d watch movies and then maybe get pizza for dinner before we handled the upcoming school week like it was meant to be: with Carter and I walking hand in hand in the hallways.

I knocked on his door, a bright smile on my face when I saw his mother open up. “Hi Mrs. Henderson.” I nodded once. “How are you?”

“Oh, Holly. Carter didn’t tell me you were coming over,” she muttered. She looked over her shoulder, her sleek blonde hair moving with her. That was where Carter got his shining locks from. “Are you here to see him?”

“Is that okay? I brought snacks.” I held up the bag.

“Snacks?” she repeated, narrowing her blue eyes. “Let me see if he wants to see you.”

My smiled faded at that. It seemed like Carter told her about our fight. He told his parents about all of our fights. They liked to know our business and they knew more about us than I was comfortable with.

But at least they were interested in me.

Even if it got a little intense sometimes.

I stood there, more than uncomfortable as Carter’s mother – Violet – practically shut the door in my face.

I was left out there at the front, alone with my bag of snacks.

She must have only been gone for a couple minutes or so, but it truly felt like an hour had gone by before she opened the door back up again.

“Carter’s in his room. You can head on up.” She nodded to the stairs.

“Thank you, Mrs. Henderson.” I sent her a nod and practically scurried up the stairs.

I knew exactly where to go as I moved down the hallway, noting all the photos of Carter, Violet, and his father.

The glorious photos had me smiling brightly.

I was so ready to fall back into Carter’s arms and forget all about our stupid fight.

He’d say sorry. And I would forgive him. And then we’d move on.

Carter’s door was locked as I stepped in front of it.

I knocked, unable to hide the smile on my face when I heard his voice from the other side, telling me to come in.

I pushed the heavy door open in a hurry, greeted with the sight of my boyfriend laying down on his king size bed.

His hands were behind his head, his eyes stuck on his TV. He was watching football.

“Hi,” I said softly, shutting his door behind me.

Carter sighed loudly. “Hey.”

“Are we… Are we gonna talk about the other night?” I looked down at the expensive, hardwood floor.

“The other night? Not sure what you mean. ”

It was my turn to sigh. “Carter. Please.”

“You can’t even look at me, Holly.”

“I don’t want you to be mad at me…” For a second, I found myself sounding utterly pathetic. But I just didn’t want Carter to be angry with me, and I couldn’t stand to see any more fury in his eyes. “I don’t want to fight again.”

“You think I like fighting with you? You think I enjoy that?” he asked with a grunt. “I was mad that night, and you couldn’t take a hint.”

“I was just trying to comfort you.” I finally looked up at him, hoping that I would see some form of sympathy on his face. But all I saw was frustration. “I knew you were upset, because everyone was focusing on Lucas, but—”

“God, Holly.” Carter rolled his eyes. “What, you came over here to rub the game in my face or something?”

I quickly shook my head. God, I was already making mistakes.

“No! Of course not. I just meant… Look, you were still so good that night. And you’re so important to the team.

You’re the captain, Carter. You’re the leader.

You’re the guy the team looks to when they need help. And you’re always there for them.”

Carter huffed, sitting up in bed. “None of that means shit.”

“What do you want me to do?” I was practically pleading with him at that point.

“Apologize,” he said the word fast, his crystal blue eyes narrowed.

I blinked at him, gripping on to the plastic bag in my hands that little bit harder. “You… You want me to say sorry?”

“Well, isn’t that why you’re here?”

“But…” I shut my eyes, trying to make sure my voice wasn’t shaky or anything. “But you were the one who…” My voice trailed off when I opened my eyes back up again. I looked straight at Carter and he was staring right back at me, defiant as ever.

Sometimes I thought that Carter was too confident for his own good. That confidence was what attracted me to him in the first place. But sometimes it could be too much, and at that point, as I stood there still in the doorway of his bedroom, I had no idea how to handle all of that bravado.

“I’m sorry,” I said the words. They were barely a whisper. It was almost as if I was trying to convince myself to mean them.

“You should be.” Carter stood up from the bed. “But I forgive you. Now get over here.”

I almost jumped into his arms. Despite how bad he had been making me feel, I still just wanted to fall into him and have him hold me.

And I did just that. I let the bag of food hit the floor as I pressed myself into Carter’s hard chest. He held me nice and close, his big arms wrapped around me so tight.

It was how things were meant to be. Nice and calm.

God, I loved it when Carter was calm. When he wasn’t obsessed with football and points and impressing the guys.

“But… If you’re really sorry, I need you to do something for me.” Carter broke the silence, but his grip stayed tight on me.

“Anything.” I stared up at him, so thankful to be close to him again. His scent was so present, the masculine cologne so familiar to me. I had been missing it and him. And how sweet he used to be to me.

“You said you had that little freak writing sports, right?” Carter moved a strand of my hair behind my ear.

I ignored the little insult and nodded. “Brodie? Yeah. He sent it to me yesterday, actually…” Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.

Because Carter certainly wouldn’t have liked the contents.

It didn’t put Carter down or anything. Not directly.

But it was filled with so much praise for Lucas that it was easy to miss Carter’s presence in that game.

“And? What did it say?”

“It… It was just…” How did I explain it to him? Carter liked being praised. I knew that. And I didn’t blame him. He had so much on his plate. It wasn’t fair when people didn’t acknowledge how hard he worked.

“Did it talk about me?” he asked sharply. “Did it mention how good I was? How good of a captain I am, and how that shitty team would be nothing without me?”

“It honestly mostly talked about Lucas,” I said sheepishly. “And how he—”

Carter sucked in an angry breath, shaking his head. “Cut it. Cut his story.”

“But… I can’t do that, Carter.” I stared at him. “Brodie wrote a piece and as the editor, it’s my job to include it.”

“It’s also your job to cut shit that you don’t want in the paper.”

“But… If I cut it, I’ll have no time to get Brodie to write something else. I’m going to get everything printed tonight so it’s ready for tomorrow,” I tried to explain.

“So?”

“So… Brodie’s piece will be totally removed. It would be so unfair to cut his story just because…”

“Just because what?” Carter asked. “Just because you wanna make him happy? What about me? What about how I feel? You know, sometimes I feel like you don’t even think about what you do to me.

It’s like you think about everyone else except me.

” Letting go of me, he took quick steps back to his bed, sitting down on the edge of it. “What’s with that, Holly?”

“Carter…” I sighed. “I can’t do what you’re asking.”

“Why?”

“I told you. It’d be unfair. Brodie worked hard on that article.”

“But it doesn’t even talk about me, right?”

“Well…” My voice trailed off, my mind racing as I thought of ways to please him, to ease his sadness. “Look, it’s just one article. It doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t make you a bad captain just because another player got all the focus.”

“Don’t you care about how I feel? I’m your boyfriend , Holly. You tryna upset me?”

“No, of course not. Never.”

“So why aren’t you on my side? Do you wanna be on someone else’s side?”

Those blue eyes seemed to be filled with total pain, and it was all my fault.

What was I doing? What was I doing picking someone else over my boyfriend?

Sawyer’s cousin of all people. I practically rushed over to Carter, straddling him.

I needed him close. I needed him to know that I wasn’t going to choose anyone but him .

“I know how much pressure you’re under,” I whispered, pressing my forehead to his. “The guys… Maybe they don’t show it enough, or appreciate you enough. But I don’t want to be like that. I know how hard you work. How much you give to the team, to everything.”

“You do? Sometimes I feel like you don’t show it.”

“I can try harder. I will. I swear I will.”

“Do you want us to break up?” he asked. “Is that it? That’s what this feels like.”

My eyes widened, my heart suddenly in my throat. “No, Carter. I don’t want that at all.”

“Are you sure?”

“I love you. You know I do.”

“Show me, Holly.”

“… I… Okay… I’ll show it. I will. I promise I will. I’ll… I’ll cut the story.” Even my heart ached a little at what I was saying. But Carter needed it. Maybe it would be motivation for him. Something to strive for. Goals were important to him.

“You will?” His blue eyes shined. “Completely?”

I had to think about it for a second. “Yeah. Totally and completely. It’ll be like it never happened.

” It was such a bad thing to do. Probably the meanest thing I had ever done.

Brodie was so nice… And his writing had been clear and concise.

But… Carter came first. He was my boyfriend. Why wouldn’t he come first?

“Cool,” mumbled Carter. “And what about next week’s game?”

“What about it?” I frowned.

“If that little prick writes about the next game, he’s just gonna say more stupid shit about me. And I don’t want that. And you don’t want me to kick his ass.”

Instead of telling Carter that Brodie didn’t even say anything stupid about him in the first place, I just ran my hands across his cheeks.

If he didn’t want Brodie to write about the next game as well, that would involve either me reassigning Brodie to a totally different section or kicking him off the paper .

And I couldn’t do the second one.

“Don’t worry.” I smiled at Carter. “I’ll handle it. All of it.”

He raised his blond eyebrows up at me. “Promise?”

“Promise.” I nodded.

“Great.” He pecked me on the lips, his hands lowering to squeeze at my ass. “So, my mom’s gonna take off in a minute. It’ll just be you and me…”

Instantly understanding what he was saying, I realized then where I was. Right there on Carter’s lap. With his eager hands on me. I let out a little laugh.

“Well, I actually brought some snacks over. I was hoping that we could spend the rest of the day eating chips and watching TV or something.” I shrugged, hoping he would leave the other idea alone. Because I really, really wasn’t ready for that. Not yet.

I could practically feel the disappointment pouring out of Carter. He grunted, lifting me off his lap and on to his bed.

“Are you mad?” I asked worriedly. Please don’t be angry. Please, please, please. Not after everything else.

“I’m not mad. Just…” He hissed and shook his head. “A man’s got needs, Holly.”

“I know. I’ll be ready. I promise. I can’t give you a date, but…”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ve heard that before,” he mumbled. “What’s in the bag?” He nodded at the plastic on the floor.

It made me beam at him. “Oh, the chips and snacks and stuff. You wanna pick a movie?”

Carter rolled his eyes before standing up. “You know I don’t eat that shit. Let’s just go downstairs. I wanna get in the pool before it gets too cold.”

Sighing, I watched as Carter walked right by the plastic bag on his expensive floor.

He wasn’t always so… cold. And mean. And…

Okay, he was being a jerk. But he was under so much stress.

And sometimes he couldn’t hold it in. He had too much on his plate.

So many expectations to live up to. College applications and scouting and games and exams. Carter was dealing with a lot.

I wasn’t going to hold any silly comments against him .

Standing up, I picked the bag off the floor and made my way downstairs. I didn’t bring my bikini, but I could dip my feet into the pool. I needed a moment to just think, anyway. About Brodie.

The Chronicle would be one page short. Guilt filled up my heart. Brodie had made an effort. He had come out to the game and wrote an awesome piece for the paper. In a way, it felt like he wrote it for me, and there I was, literally ripping it out of the paper.

But Brodie would move on.

I reminded myself that Carter was my boyfriend. And that his pride and feelings were much more important. He was the one I loved. I knew that as I sat at the edge of the pool, watching as he winked at me and dove into the cool water.

He was mine. And I had to protect that.