Page 36 of Sinful as They Come (Sinful Trilogy #1)

SAWYER

The weekend flew by and dragged on at the same time. After that disastrous fucking party on Friday night, all I could think about was Holly. The look on her face, the tears in her eyes, the pain in her voice. She looked heartbroken.

I always said I would fuck with Holly with anything but that.

The Carter Issue. That was supposed to be between the two of them.

And I had also thought one day Carter would be a fucking man and admit to her what he was up to.

But that day never seemed to come, and he had forced me to tell her the truth.

I was the last person she wanted to hear that from.

“Dude, you gonna sit there staring out the window all day or what?”

“Huh?” I cleared my throat.

I turned to my side to see Brodie staring at me curiously.

“You’ve been looking at the same tree for five minutes now.” Brodie smiled.

“Oh. Shit. Sorry. Yeah, let’s go.”

Exiting the car, I wondered for a second if I should have been looking over my shoulder.

Was Carter gonna try and get revenge? Did I have to worry about him and his stupid football goons ganging up on me?

Only time would tell. But if that asshole wanted to fight, then I was more than capable of bringing him some more pain.

Pulling out my precious box of cigarettes from my pocket, I told Brodie that I would meet him inside.

I needed a smoke. My two days off weren’t enough, especially when I had to work on both Saturday and Sunday.

Both days had been spent with my mind stuck on Holly.

I hated how much I was thinking about her.

I actually felt sorry for her. That look on her face… Fuck, I couldn’t forget it.

I ducked behind a few corners for some privacy.

My usual wall was busy during the mornings, but the garden that a few students had been working on over the year was a good place to smoke too.

It was private, the tall plants offering up a green wall that kept me and my smokes away from nagging teachers.

And just as I placed the thin, white stick between my lips, I saw her.

Holly. She sat there on the bench in front of some tall, purple flowers.

I had no idea what they were called, but the softness of them reminded me of Holly.

Turning around was the best option. Hell, it should have been the only option.

But Holly looked devastated. She sat there on the bench, a little hunched over with her chin in her hands. Her doe eyes looked even bigger than they normally did. Even from where I was standing, I could see how wet they were. She was crying.

“You want a smoke?” I asked lowly, already knowing what her answer would be.

My words startled her. She jumped in her spot a little, giving me a wide-eyed look. When she saw it was me, though, she seemed to settle down.

“Will it make me feel better?” she answered, her voice barely a whisper.

“Maybe for a few minutes.” I joined her on the surprisingly comfortable bench.

The air was nice and cold, a cool breeze in the morning air.

We were far enough away from the main building that we couldn’t hear any annoying voices.

It was just me and Holly and her little sniffles that she wasn’t afraid to show in front of me.

“Oh,” was all she said.

I kept my mouth shut after that. Maybe it was a mistake sitting down next to her. We weren’t friends. But she was being so quiet. I wondered what was going on in her head. Her brain shouldn’t have intrigued me as much as it did.

“You were right.” She broke the few minutes of silence .

I looked at her and frowned. “About?”

“Carter.”

“Oh.” I copied her word from earlier. “… Fuck.”

“Yeah.”

“Fuck.”

“Feel free to say something else. Like… I told you so.”

“I told you so.”

“You feel better?”

“No.”

She was quiet once again and I couldn’t bring myself to look at her.

I didn’t want to see the hurt look on her face.

But I was beyond relieved that she finally knew.

Didn’t she know she could do better than Carter?

If I was her I would have been ecstatic that I no longer had to be with Carter Henderson.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me until Friday night?” she asked with a choked sob. “And why was it you of all people telling me?”

Rubbing at the back of my neck, I made sure to keep my eyes straight ahead, focusing on some sunflowers. I didn’t want to see Holly crying and pouring her heart out.

“I don’t know,” I told her quietly. “I guess… I guess some people aren’t good with telling others the truth.”

“How long have you known?”

“I don’t know…” I said again, but I didn’t sound convincing in the slightest.

“I take it from that answer that you’ve known for a while then.” She sniffled.

I rubbed at my neck harder. “I guess you could say that.”

“Some of them were my friends. A lot of them are on the cheer team. Girls I sit next to in class. Gorgeous, pretty girls. Girls that I don’t look anything like...” Her voice trailed as her eyes shut tight. “I hate myself so much right now.”

Holly buried her face in her hands at that.

She shook next to me, her neat ponytail bobbing up and down a little.

It was a stark difference to the confident girl I knew who didn’t take shit from me.

Carter had well and truly broken her. He had stolen her pride and confidence and crushed it into nothing.

I felt rage on her behalf because of that.

Holly didn’t deserve that. No matter what our past was like, Carter had no right making Holly feel that low.

She was the most beautiful girl in school, and none of the cheerleaders he fucked held a candle to her.

Didn’t she know that? Or did Carter really mess with her head that much?

“Holly…” I let out. God, I was tempted to hug her. To pull her to me, to let her know that she wasn’t the fuck up, that Carter was fully responsible, that none of those girls had a thing on her. But she spoke up before I could even think about my next move.

“And they all just… They all just lied to my face while they laughed behind my back at the same time,” she continued. “Carter too. I can’t… How stupid am I?”

“You can do better than him, Holly,” I whispered. “You’re not stupid for trying to see the best in him. Carter’s a manipulative asshole. He was probably telling you all the right things. It’s not your fault.”

“Everyone knew but me.”

“That’s what he wanted. He knew what he was doing.”

“How come you didn’t tell me?” She sat up slowly. “You hate me. You love hurting me. It would have been so easy for you to tell me and break my heart. Why didn’t you?”

“I wouldn’t wanna break your heart, Holly,” I muttered. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I should have said something.”

She nodded and wiped at her eyes, sniffling there in her spot. “I have to sit next to Jennifer Katz in history. Who, apparently, had caught the eye of my boyfriend at that party.”

I guessed that Jennifer Katz was the girl I had seen Carter with on Friday night. Seeing Carter with her had triggered some weird, protective side of me that filled me up with an uncontrollable anger I couldn’t put a lid on. Punching him had been worth it.

“I have a girl cousin who can beat her up for you,” I offered. “She lives about an hour from here. But she’ll do it.”

For the first time in what seemed like a long time, I saw Holly smile. She even laughed, letting out the smallest of giggles despite her still wet eyes and tear-stained cheeks. It was a nice sound.

“Thanks for the offer, but I think I’ll just pretend like she doesn’t exist… Along with the dozens of other girls that Carter just couldn’t keep his hands off of…”

“Forget about them,” I told her seriously. “Forget about him too. Don’t let this shit get to you. That’s what he wants. Don’t give him what he wants. You’re not gonna be here forever, Holly. You won’t see these people anymore, and you won’t remember any of this pain.”

I only realized then how close Holly and me were sitting together.

Her much smaller shoulder brushed up against mine, and I was so close that I could take in the scent of her perfume.

That sweet, floral-like smell. I hated how much I liked it.

Coughing a little, I suddenly stood up. Holly gave me a wide-eyed, surprised look.

She seemed to understand then just how close we had been sitting as well.

It wasn’t meant to be that way.

“I gotta catch up with Brodie. I’ll, uh, see you in class or something.”

“Bye,” Holly whispered, her chin back in her hands. She looked ahead of her again, back to staring off aimlessly at the flowers in front of her, like none of what I said had mattered.

I let her get lost in her thoughts. She would get over Carter. Eventually.