Page 5 of Should the Sky Fall

He suppresses a groan. No matter how many times he tells Liv that divorce is not an option, she always comes back to it, like a dog with a bone.

“I can’t just leave, Liv.”

She pulls away to look at him, and there’s a sense of urgency in her eyes. “Why? Don’t tell me you still love him.”

Has he ever? It’s hard to say. What he felt for Cal in those first months, maybe years, seems like a case of infatuation in hindsight. It would be easier if he had something to compare it to, and he doesn’t think that his crush on Timmy Robbins in sixth grade is a great point of reference.

It doesn't matter anyway. Whatever he felt for Cal back then has gradually disintegrated as years went by. But things are more complicated than that. It’s not about whether Dawson loves him or not.

“No, I don’t think I do.”

“Then leave, for Christ’s sake!”

If only it was so straightforward. “Where would I go? I have nothing.” For nearly six years he’s been Caledon Reeves’ husband. He’s nothing if he’s not that.

He was no one before he met Cal, just a boy with a bunch of dreams and no direction. Naively believing there was someone out there looking for him just as he was looking for them. Someone made just for him.

And even though he always knew, deep inside, that Cal wasn’t the one, at least he wassomeone.Someone who looked at Dawson and saw him, who said all the right things and was willing to keep him.

Olivia opens her arms, as if to encompass the whole space of the house. “You haveus.You have Kieran.”

Kieran has his own relationship drama to worry about. Not to mention that his current girlfriend hates Dawson’s guts and would throw a fit if Kieran suggested Dawson stay with them for a bit.

“So, what? I’d just move in with you?” In the middle of nowhere, pretending everything is nice and dandy?

Olivia rolls her eyes. “It’s not like you have any other obligations.”

The words hit him like a sledgehammer.

Olivia freezes, her eyes widening a fraction. She lifts a hand, maybe to reach for him, but he takes a step back.

“Dee…”

He shakes his head. Olivia isn’t wrong. He has no friends besides Kieran, no life purpose. He doesn’t even have a real job. He’d taken the job at the dog shelter knowing it’d be a voluntary position. If he was getting paid, he doesn't think Cal would have been okay with him working there.

“Why would you want a job? I can pay for everything you need,” Cal had once told him.

Dawson won’t lie—he found it incredibly attractive at the time. After years of struggling to make ends meet, and with Olivia juggling two jobs while studying to be able to pay rent and all the bills their parents had left them, the idea of being provided for had made him agreeable to anything Cal might’ve wanted.

How had he ever confused this with love?

“I…” He turns away. “I forgot your present in the car. I’ll be right back.”

“Dee, wait.”

He all but runs for the car, throwing himself in and burrowing his face in his hands. Bile burns at the back of his throat and he swallows it down. The pressure behind his eyes builds, reaching new heights and promptly morphing into a throbbing sensation that spreads across his forehead and to his temples. It doesn’t take long before he has hundreds of needles stabbing into his skull.

Shit. This isn’t a headache. But he hasn’t had a migraine in weeks and didn’t bring his pills with him. Fucking figures it had to make a comeback today.

Soon, a high-pitched noise fills his ears, similar to the echo that’s left behind after a fire alarm has stopped beeping. Except this noise doesn’t stop, just keeps on going and growing in volume. The sky is overcast, but he squints against the daylight, wanting nothing more than to hide in a dark, silent room and stay there.

Resigned, he grabs Olivia’s present and heads back to the house, his stomach churning and threatening to empty its contents on the welcome mat.

Olivia’s on him the second he walks in. Whatever speech she’s prepared dies on her tongue with one look at his face. He must look like something chewed him up and spit him out.

She takes his hand, and this time he lets her. “Come with me.”

“I don’t think I can take the stairs,” he says when she leads him to the staircase.