Page 15 of Should the Sky Fall

Chapter 3.5

“You’rereallygoingtodo it, aren’t you?”

He glances at Sienna briefly, before returning his attention to the body lying in the hospital bed. The sight of Caledon disgusts him to his core.

He knows that the human body is nothing but a vessel. It could carry anything, anyone. It’s no reflection of what resides inside it. Yet, the mere idea of having any of Caledon’s parts close to him is repulsive.

“I am.”

His feelings about Caledon don’t matter. His inhibitions don’t matter. There’s only one thing that does and it lies on the other side of here. And he’ll do anything to get there, even if it means becoming what he hates.

“Do you know what you’re getting yourself into?”

In spite of her words, Sienna doesn’t sound worried. Of course she doesn’t. She never worries, none of the harvesters do. Probably. Sienna is the only other of his kind he’s ever interacted with. The rest? They just pass by, aware of each other but feeling no inclination to seek any sort of connection.

Not Sienna. In another life, he might’ve called her a friend. She definitely seems to enjoy sticking her nose in his business. That’s his doing, though. He was the one to confide in her about his agenda.

“Not a clue,” he admits.

She laughs softly, and it gives him the courage to ask what’s been on his mind since the idea started to form.

“Do you think it will work? What if…” He turns his gaze back to Caledon, revulsion battling with yearning.What if his body isn’t able to hold him in?“What if I can’t pass through? What if they don’t let me?” Whoevertheyare.

There’s only ever been one thing on his mind; do your job and follow a single rule. It’s inherent knowledge deep inside him, in all of them. Like newborn babies who take their first breath without knowinghow.

“Why wouldn’t they?”

“Because it’s…”Forbidden.But it’s not, is it? There’s no mention of it at all. “Unheard of.”

Sienna rolls her eyes. “Everything is unheard of here. We aren’t exactly an adventurous bunch.”

His lips twitch with an attempted smile. “It almost sounds like you’re prompting me to do it.”

“I’ll miss you,” she says. “But if it’s something you have to do, you should.”

“I don’thave todo it.”Liar.“Ishouldn’tdo it.”

“Says who? Have you ever spoken to anyone besides me?”

She knows he hasn’t. “Youhave. Tell me, how many harvesters have you met who ever thought about doing anything else but their job?”

Something in her eyes softens, and her hand reaches up to cup his face. “You’re not like the others.”

If that’s supposed to comfort him, it has the opposite effect. “You’re not helping.”

She laughs again, exasperated and a little affectionate, so unsuitable for someone of her designation. “You big baby.” She grins when he scowls. “What’s the worst that can happen?”

He opens his mouth to respond, but nothing comes out.

It’s not like he can die. He could be punished, though he has no idea what kind of punishment it would be. How do you punish someone who doesn’t feel pain?

The machines keeping Caledon alive beep over each other, the sound high-pitched and constant. He’s watched humanity for long enough to know what that sound does to them, how much they hate it. Hate what it represents.

But not him. He revels in it, feeling a rush of excitement every time Caledon’s tainted heart beats a little out of sync.

“I could cease to exist.” It’s the only thing he can come up with.

A thoughtful expression on her face, Sienna gives him a small smile. It feels sad. “Would that be so terrible?” is what she says, but what he hears is, “How much do you actually like this life?”