Page 130 of Should the Sky Fall

“Can you be blunt, but like…sprinkle it with sugar just a little?”

Ash snickers. “Sure. What would you say about your intimate life?”

Every single muscle in Dawson’s body tenses up. “You mean sex?”

“Yeah, I mean sex,” Ash says, smothering a smile. Dick.

“Fine.” Dawson shrugs. “I could take it or leave it.”

Ash isn’t happy with the answer. “And if you had to choose, would you take it or leave it?”

“Leave it, probably.” No point lying about it. It makes Dawson feel like a disgruntled housewife who couldn’t care less, but he just never cared much. Sure, he went through a horny phase as a teen, but that was just hormones. And sex with Cal was…fine, Dawson just never got what all that hype was about. Orgasms were great, but he could get the same result using his hand and his vivid imagination. Plus, flying solo has the perk of doing it only when he feels like it. So yeah, sex is definitely overrated. He has no idea why people lose their minds over it.

“Were there times you were just being agreeable if Cal wanted to have sex?”

Dawson snorts. “Duh. Isn’t that the status quo for married couples?”

Judging by the look Ash gives him, Dawson has managed to put his foot in his mouth.

“Look, it wasn’t a big deal,” Dawson says, feeling defensive. “We’re married and this is what married couples do.”

“Do they, now?”

“Yes.” He’s starting to get pissed off. It’s one thing to have his behavior picked apart and shoved under a microscope, but sexual urges or the lack thereof are very individual. Ash has no right to tell him what is normal or not.

You just said all married couples are like this,the annoying part of Dawson’s brain that likes to call him out on shit reminds him. He tells it to shut up.

“It wasn’t terrible or anything,” he says, feeling pressured to explain even though Ash didn’t ask. “I was just rarely in the mood. And Cal, he was… He had certain expectations. Plus, with all the pressure from work and stuff, it was kind of a stress relief for him.”

“People exercise to relieve stress.”

“He did that too.”

“Was he ever cruel?”

“No.”Exceptthattime, right?“He was… He got off on control. Not just in the bedroom. And I…wasn’t a fan.”

‘You don’t make the rules here, sweetheart. You follow them. And if you don’t? I’ll make sure to remind you of your place.’

Dawson lets out a shaky exhale. “There was one time when he… I made him mad, didn’t do what he asked, so…he decided to teach me a lesson.” He feels nauseous just talking about it, and of course Ash notices and decides to twist the knife.

“Can you say it for me?”

It feels like an eternity but is probably only seconds before Dawson finds his voice. “He…forced me. It was just the one time,” he adds quickly.

Ash’s gaze is cool and calm when Dawson looks at him. There’s no pity or discomfort in his expression, and Dawson is so fucking grateful he could cry.

“When was this?”

“Not long ago. A couple of weeks before the accident. It—Actually, it was why I finally decided to go through with the divorce. Until then, I’d thought there were lines he wouldn’t cross. I was wrong.”

“After all this, can you imagine ever being intimate with him again? And I mean wanting it, not just enduring?”

“I don’t know,” he says honestly. His mind hasn’t even wandered in that direction since the accident. He suspects part of it is because Cal hasn’t given a single indication of expecting to get…physical. It’s likely due to the meds and the ongoing soreness after the surgery.

He tries to imagine it, imagine touching Cal. Or Cal touching him. Undressing him. Raking his gaze over Dawson’s naked body before pushing him into the mattress, settling between his spread legs and—

Dawson snaps back to the present. His skin feels hot, and his throat is dry.