Page 190 of Should the Sky Fall

Then Cal twists the knife. “I missed you too. I can’t tell you how much.” His eyes are shiny, like he’s about to cry. Dawson’s never seen him cry in his life. “But if you never want to see me again, I’ll understand. I’ll let you go.”

“You’ll let me go,” Dawson repeats flatly.

Cal lets out a frustrated sigh, showing Dawson his palms. “This wasn’t always the plan, Dawson. I thought that if I removed Caledon from your life, that would be it. It would be enough, knowing you were safe from him. But I got selfish. Greedy. I spent weeks following Caledon around, but you were all I cared about. Not him, not my job. You. I was there whenever he hurt you, and I tried to reach out, to tell you it would be okay. That you’d soon be free of him. Of course, it never worked. We can’t communicate with the living. But I liked to imagine you could hear me.”

Dawson’s skin prickles with goosebumps, Cal’s words awakening something he’s forgotten about.

“Say it again.”

Cal hesitates, unsure. “I liked to imagine—”

Dawson shakes his head. “No. Before. You tried to reach out and tell me what?”

Cal’s brows furrow in thought. Very slowly, he repeats, “That it would be over soon. That you’d be free.”

That’s it. Right there.

“Soon.”

Cal nods. “Yes.”

Oh god.

Oh god.

He has heard that before. He hasfeltit before, dreamed about the soothing deep voice and the promise it carried. Is that…is that what it was? Has Cal been with him all along? But that would mean…

“You said he makes you feel safe. Is it really so unbelievable that he might not be the man you thought he was?”

Dawson looks at him.Reallylooks at him—the man he’s spent months with, made love with. The man who’d made him pancakes and held him when he was in pain. The man who promised him forever, but who would let him go if that’s what Dawson wanted.

Because he loves him.

“You hate coffee.”

Cal blinks owlishly. “Yes?”

“You watch Disney movies and read corny vampire fiction.”

“You put pineapple on pizza. You’re the last person who can judge me,” Cal retorts, and that touch of defensiveness almost makes Dawson smile, which in turn makes him cry.

“You can’t do laundry for shit, and your cooking attempts are hit or set-the-kitchen-on-fire-miss.”

Cal takes a step forward. “Yes, but I’m working on it. I promise.”

Dawson stays where he is. “You wash the dishes and make me breakfast in bed.”

Cal nods earnestly, taking another step. “I’ll make you breakfast every day for the rest of our lives if you let me.”

Dawson’s heart flutters with hope. It’s a dangerous thing to feel, but he’s helpless to stop it. “You love donuts and listen to Lady Gaga.”

Another step. “I like Taylor Swift too.”

“You love me.”

“With everything I am,” Cal says, like it pains him to admit it. “I loved you even when I didn’t know who I was.”

“I fell in love with you thinking you’re someone else.”