Page 27 of Should the Sky Fall

“You’re lucky to have him,” he goes on. “You always talked so ill of him, I thought you hated each other's guts, but he cares.” An unbidden thought forms in his mind. “Is it strange that it makes me feel better knowing I’m not the only person close to you who you treated like crap? I always thought I was the problem. Always wondering what I’m doing wrong. I think I get it now.”

It's kind of freeing, to be able to say these things to Cal's face, even if it's pretend, but that's fine. He's been pretending this whole time, most of his life, really. Pretending he's okay, that he's stronger than he looks, braver than he feels. Now he'll just need to pretend that he's scared for his husband's well-being. Not for long, though. Soon, he'll be back to where he started. Alone and lost.

“I wish I never met you.”

The deafening, high-pitched sound of the machines going haywire sends his heart racing. He springs to his feet, looking around in panic. What's happening? Did he do something? Should he call for someone?

Everything happens too fast. Two nurses storm in with a doctor in tow that Dawson has yet to meet. They push Dawson aside, barking out medical terminology he has no hope of understanding until he hears ‘Code blue’.

He stays rooted to the spot, his ears filling up with the violent sounds of the machines. Rough hands grip him by the arms, trying to move him.

“Sir. You need to leave,” someone says, then he's being escorted out of the room. He moves mechanically, frozen in place as the door is shut in his face.

A nurse passes Dawson, asking him questions, checking on him. He tries to answer, his mind fuzzy. He lets her lead him back to the waiting room, taking one of the chairs and accepting the cup of water she fetches for him. She's trying to talk to him, but her voice sounds like it’s coming from a distance, the words not making sense.

He sits there and waits for what feels like hours, even if realistically it's probably just minutes.

“Mr Reeves.”

Dawson lifts his head. The figure in front of him is vaguely familiar. Is he the doctor who was in the room when Cal coded?

“Yes?”

The doctor's inscrutable expression breaks, turning grim. He takes a chair next to Dawson, turning to face him. “I’m sorry,” he says, voice full of empathy. “We did everything we could, but—”

The intercom crackles to life with another call forcode blue.

Code blue for Cal’s room.

The doc' face drains of color, his mouth agape. He shakes himself impressively quickly, springing to his feet and mumbling a brief “Excuse me” to Dawson before he takes off.

Dawson stares after his disappearing form, his chest hollow and feeling like it’s being crushed in an iron fist.

His eyes close and, finally, he lets himself fall apart.

Chapter 6

He’snotsurehowmuch time has passed when Ellis barges into the waiting room. He strides towards the front desk but halts when he sees Dawson. He lets out a relieved exhale and starts towards him.

“What happened?” he asks as he drops into the chair next to him.

The hospital must’ve called him, because Dawson doesn’t remember doing it. He would feel bad about it if he was able to feel anything other than the suffocating void.

“I don’t know. I was there when he coded. They made me leave, and then, I don’t know after how long, a doctor came to tell me they lost him. But then…” He takes a shuddering breath. “They managed to bring him back and took him to surgery.”

Ellis pulls at his hair none too gently. He’s been doing it a lot. If he keeps it up whenever he feels stressed, he’ll go bald by the time Cal is out of the woods.

“Shit. Way to scare the crap out of everyone.”

“Yeah, he’s good at that,” Dawson says, uncaring how bitter he sounds.

Ellis eyes him carefully, but he doesn’t seem mad. “You don’t have to be here. I know this is a lot, especially when…” His expression is strained, the words hard to get out. Dawson doesn’t blame him. Hearing about the side of his brother that he’d never known existed must’ve shaken him. “I’ll stay. You go home. I’ll let you know if something changes.”

Dawson doesn’t even have the strength to protest. Honestly, it sounds good to him, even if leaving Ellis to deal with everything by himself—again—makes him feel like crap. He doesn’t want to stay here. His brain is already playing tricks on him, making him feel like the walls of the waiting room are closing in on him. Kind of like when he’s at the apartment.

So he nods, searching his pocket for the car keys. He might need to sit in the car for a bit, make sure he’s fit to drive. Ellis wouldn’t be impressed if Dawson ended up in a car wreck too.

Before he can leave, one of the doctors who was in the room when Cal coded approaches them. Dr Wells, his name tag says.