Page 8

“Kale, turkey, and cheese egg bites. Honey chicken lettuce wrap. Fruit cup. Cake bites. Water.”

Sac placed each item on the table as he called off its name.

“If you hate it all, I’ll take another stab at it. But, I figured you’d like something I ordered. The calorie intake isn’t much either. Protein is the main source of nutrients. Should serve you well.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

He took his seat and placed his things in front of him.

I watched as he opened the kraft paper with Little Coffee Cottage printed in bold, black letters. Curiosity held me captive.

“Egg whites, chicken, sauteed spinach, and vegan cheese on wheat.”

Sac never looked up from his sandwich as he read off the ingredients. Though humored, I was interested. His sandwich looked tastier than anything he’d chosen for me. My silence caused a disruption in his movements. He paused before grabbing the hairs on his chin.

My eyes hadn’t left him for anything other than a few glances at his meal. With his head still low, Sac slid his wrapper in my direction. He exchanged his sandwich for the choices he’d made for me. Overly satisfied with his generosity, I straightened my spine and adjusted my gaze.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he responded.

I pushed the wrapper down until each edge touched the surface of the table. My index and middle fingers smoothed the wrinkles as best they could. I pulled the wrapper closer to the table’s edge, aligning it with the sharp line of the square.

There .

I lifted the sandwich, nestling it between both hands, and sunk my teeth into the bread. Eventually, I cut through every layer, including the tomato that he’d neglected to mention. My eyes closed involuntarily. I’d just taken a chunk out of heaven. No one could convince me otherwise.

“Oh wow,” I moaned, momentarily forgetting where I was and who I was with.

“Yeah. That motherfucker the truth,” Sac promoted, regretful of his generous contribution to my satisfaction.

His statement startled me. I was quickly reminded that I was not at home and I was not alone. There were at least fifty strangers surrounding me, all enjoying breakfast and a glimpse of the man sitting across from me.

Instinctively, my hand met my mouth. It wasn’t until I’d chewed my food and shoved it down my throat with a sip of water that I responded.

“Yes. Yes, it is.” My words poured from my mouth. “This feels criminal. Maybe I should head to the front and get a second one for yo–”

I stood as I spoke, prepared to return the favor. The sandwich was too darn good to have alone. Sac needed one. I wanted him to have one.

“Sit down.”

His words were sharp yet soothing. Our eyes met in an instant. My legs were still straight, so was my spine.

“Sit down,” he repeated, softly. “Eat your food, Rome. If I want a sandwich, I’ll go get a sandwich. I want you to enjoy it. That’s why I gave it to you. If you take your pretty ass up there, you won’t return for another fifteen or twenty minutes.

“To be honest, I’m not trying to give you up for that long when I have no idea how much time I have with you this morning.

I’d consider holding you hostage like that fucking AirPod, but that wouldn’t be a good idea.

You’re human, and I’m not set up like that.

I only want you around if you want to be around.

So, don’t. Don’t go up there. Sit down.”

I wasn’t sure how quickly or how slowly it had happened, but it had happened without my knowledge.

By the time I comprehended, I was in my seat with the sandwich in my hand.

Only it wasn’t my mouth I was holding it to.

It was his. His eyes never left mine as he widened the space between his lips and bit into the sandwich.

Falling back in his chair, he nodded.

“Umm hmm. Fire.”

Impossible.

How he was fully mobile was baffling. I couldn’t move.

I didn’t move. I could only observe. His perfectly lined hair.

Its silkiness. Its relation to the color of his skin.

His skin . His poreless skin. His lips. His nose.

His eyes. I could get lost in them. And, frankly, I had.

I was desperate to find myself because I wasn’t ready to relinquish control.

Not yet. That would be too easy. Much too easy for.

My heart palpitated with fear as we recognized the magnitude of Sac’s presence simultaneously. The idea that he was privy to the same information was stifling. I struggled to regulate my organs and release air to allow fresh air inside.

“Rome.”

My lashes batted, slowly and uncontrollably. My cheeks flattered. Reality rested on my chest, tripling the weight of my body. Quietly, I suffered a great deal at the revelation that I’d lose all self-control to the man before me.

“Rome.”

It was only a matter of time. Though it wouldn’t be this very moment, the moment it did, I knew that there would be no way to reel myself back in. Because, I knew what our future entailed. Our fate was sealed. I could fall effortlessly, endlessly for him without reservation or hesitation.

The question of who my lover was, was never the issue. Where he was, was always the dilemma. In this big world with over eight billion living and breathing humans, finding him felt impossible, so I cherished my sleep. I longed for rest each evening, hoping to see him again.

“Rome.”

And, here he is.

In front of me.

Breaking me down.

Lifting me up.

Taking me down without even touching me .

“Rome.”

His voice finally registered. A final blink snapped me back into reality. I swallowed the lump of air in my throat and shifted in my seat. I could breathe again. I could see again. I could hear again. I could speak again.

“I apologize.”

The dryness of my throat prompted me to reach for the water in front of me.

I laid the sandwich on the wrapper. The precipitation around the cup from the chilly water cooled my body upon contact.

I sipped, hurriedly, quickly coming to the conclusion that my power was wavering.

I didn’t feel as poised because I wasn’t. I was far from it.

Panicked . The word was more suitable.

Unnerved .

Easy and uneasy at once.

“What’s the matter?”

I shook my head, “Nothing.”

Sac pressed his stomach against the table, leaning closer. He removed the water from my hand and sat it down. He beckoned for my attention without a single word. The tips of his fingers rested on my palm.

“What’s the matter, Rome?”

He extracted things from me that I wanted to hold onto.

“Just– overwhelmed is all,” I admitted, “Feels like I’ve known you before. Like I’ve heard you before. Like I’ve seen you before. Like I’ve felt you before.”

His chin dropped slightly, closer to his chest as he listened.

“And, I’m sure it’s not just my imagination.” I chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. “I’ve experienced you at least a hundred times, so this all feels natural… not new. Makes this meet-up easy and overwhelming, simultaneously.”

“One hundred and one,” he stated.

“One hundred and one,” I added.

“I like you, Ms. Mellow. But, I’m beginning to think I gave you that name far too quickly.

You’re as mellow as you are mysterious. Meek.

Mild. Modest. Yielding. Reverential. Quiet.

Very, very respectful. Bashful. Careful.

Probably too careful. Faultless… Not by default.

Because you are keen on results. You do the work to receive the results.

Often. I can sense your level of discipline.

It defines you more than any of your other qualities.

You value those who are more of the same… as you … than those who aren’t.”

“I value everyone the same until they prove me otherwise.”

“What have I proved, Rome?”

“You’re worthy of my time.”

“Because you’ve met me a hundred times before or because you’re genuinely interested?”

My silence was revealing.

“So, I have the hundred times we’ve met before to thank for this moment.”

Honesty gripped me by the mound, forcing a nod.

“I can fuck with that.”

“Those hundred times gave you time with me this morning. At the race. And, it got me into your car. I’m not here solely because of it. It was simply a reference. Your performance has kept me in your line of vision. Give yourself some credit, Sac.”

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Six.

I counted each movement. Admiration didn’t leave me with another choice. His head lifted and fell twelve times.

“And, this sandwich–” I admitted, picking it up and taking another bite. His teeth impressions met my lips.

“I’m fucking with it,” he sniggered, watching as I devoured the meal he’d planned for himself.

We don’t have much of a choice, my love. Life didn’t give us one .

Wind grazed the side of my face, pushing my hair backward. It skated across the tips of my fingers as the car cruised down the backroads of Mt. Clarke. This route, the scenic route, was easily my favorite.

The playlist that Sac had quickly grown to love played in the background, lowly, but enough for us not to wonder what was playing or what part of the song was on. I closed my eyes, attempting to place my feelings, quiet my fears, and embrace the moment.

Everything was aligned. The pain of Chemistry’s absence wasn’t as profound. The suppression of my mother’s love due to our distance didn’t hurt as bad. The current dynamic of our family didn’t feel as heavy.

The only thing weighing on me was the moment of our separation. It was minutes away, and with each passing second, I grew sadder at the revelation. Still, the fact of the matter didn’t disrupt the solace his presence represented for me.

But each time the thought crossed my mind and my body grew tense, a gentle squeeze from his enormous hands reassured me everything would be fine.

The fresh wind was an added bonus. Trees made music of their own, swaying as we passed them by.

From the smell of pine to aspen to birch, my nostrils expanded with joy.