Page 27

SIX

Bzzzt.

Bzzzt.

Bzzzt.

Bzzzt.

My fingers scanned the bed for my vibrating cell.

Through squinted eyes, I managed to find the bar and slide it across my screen.

I placed the phone against my ear as a yawn split my mouth wide open.

After it subsided, I cleaned my eyes of the fresh tears.

Once I settled, flattening my hand against my belly, I shifted my attention to the call.

“Teddy,” I breathed into the phone.

“He’s a good fit.”

My body flung itself from the sheets. Suddenly, I wasn’t fighting sleep anymore. I was fighting for the regulation of every system in my body. Silence shifted the atmosphere. Somehow, I felt like a teenager whose father had discovered her first real relationship was unfolding under his nose.

“Chemisty– I–”

“You’re not a baby, Rome. You’re my baby. There’s a difference.”

He quieted, allowing me to accept the direct blow to my heart. Though he meant well, it still hurt.

“You’re embarking on territory where I can’t protect you. Matters of the heart is where my line is drawn unless a situation requires me. We’ve shielded you since the time we discovered you were in Rhea’s womb. That ends, Rome. It ends now.

“Since learning about your dreams, I’ve been dreading this day like the plague, although I knew it was coming. You’d seen it a hundred times or more. It was inevitable. It was bound to happen. I’m just thankful life waited until you peaked at maturity, understanding, clarity, and confidence.

“Still, I can’t help but hope that I’ve been a positive enough influence on your life to help lead you in love. It’s like nothing else, baby. It’s overpowering. It’s unpredictable. It’s shameless. It’s disappointing. It’s confronting. It’s good. And, it’s bad. It changes you.

“The way you think. The way you move. The way you talk. The way you sleep. The way you act. The way you dress. The way you eat. The way you do every fucking thing. It’s a beauty, baby. But, it’s also a curse.

“Five rules, Rome. Five rules I need you to abide by no matter what. And, I need you to promise you will make them a priority, no matter what stage of the relationship you’re in.”

Without knowing what was to come, I agreed. “I promise, Teddy.”

“Rule number one, maintain your dignity and self-respect in every situation. Don’t do anything you don’t want or anything that doesn’t align with your moral compass.

Use the brain you were given. Rule number two, never give a nigga the chance to do it to you twice, because he will.

Every fucking time. You can’t afford the benefit of doubt in relationships. And, frankly, niggas don’t deserve it.

“Rule number three, maintain your individuality. Do not get so caught up in his world that you forget to cultivate one of your own. Your identity is yours. Make sure it stays that way. Rule number four, compensation is key. Make him pay from day one, just in case he decides to act up by day three. Rule number five–” he paused, “Your job isn’t to make a man’s life easier.

“An easy life is an undesirable life for a man. We bore too easily. Keep him on his toes. Keep him worrying. Wondering. Confused. Make sure he understands that you’re the center of his world and not the other way around. It’ll keep him busy, baby.”

Nothing more was said. I digested the information I’d been given and stored it for safe keeping.

“Up, Rome. On your feet.”

I placed my feet on the floor.

“I’m up.”

“Good. I’ll talk to you lat–”

“Wait. Teddy.”

“Yeah?”

“Is that what happened with Egypt?”

He chuckled, lightly. It was rare, hearing that sound come from Chemistry’s mouth. My heart sped up slightly. A smile curled my lips upward.

“Well– is it? ”

“Worried. Wondering. Confused. Furious. Obsessed. Entitled. Jealous. And, catching bodies. Egypt’s strategy was risky, baby.

You’re not that kind of crazy. Keep it light.

Keep it classy. Keep it cool. Don’t do what Egypt did, or I’ll be on the next flight to Clarke. De Bacco won’t have to do it. I will.”

The call ended as I exhaled, knowing Teddy meant every word he’d said. And while I’d listened carefully, it was his approval I was mostly intrigued by.

My fingers were hardly moving fast enough to find the SZA playlist I’d curated.

It took a full minute to get the songs in rotation.

But, when the first beat dropped, I sprung up from my bed and placed my hands in the air.

My hips swayed from side to side as I greeted the day with hydrated skin and a single reason to smile.

Teddy-approved , I stamped Saint.

I spun around, slowly, grooving to the tunes. Conquering the world often felt easier than pleasing Chemistry. Donating life-sustainable organs often felt easier than gaining his approval. So, the high I was on was valid. It was grounding. It was gratifying.

I continued my reel into the bathroom where I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and emptied my bladder. The coolness of the floor made my skin tighten. I scolded myself mentally for not remembering to adjust the temperature before going to bed.

4:49a.

I ended my celebration with my water bottle up to my lips. In a few seconds, I finished off the cold water that had survived the night with me. I strolled through my bedroom and into my dressing room where I began to pull the threads of my shorts apart to accommodate my thighs.

The shorts were the first on. Next was the matching sports bra.

Lastly was the jacket that zipped up to my neck.

Before spritzing my body with perfume, I slid into a pair of brown socks that were at least six shades darker than my clothes.

The chocolate ruffles around the top were the reason I was obsessed with them.

Skin– dew coated my skin. I slid the creamy body butter up my legs, down my arms, and across my chest. My skin glistened even under the absence of the sun’s glow.

I met my reflection in the mirror. The silk scarf slid from my head with ease. The fluffy scrunchie had held my pony in place through the night. Nodding, I approved the result.

My fingers worked in partnership to plait my natural hair. I secured the end with a small, black hair tie.

4:54a.

I descended the stairs and headed toward the kitchen.

I removed the fresh fruit I’d sliced the previous night.

I popped a few pieces of strawberries in my mouth and the rest went into the vase of filtered water in the fridge.

I added lime, lemon, and pineapple to the compartment designed for infusion.

Carefully, I poured a generous amount in a glass before placing the lids back on and putting everything in their rightful places.

4:58a.

I placed the empty glass in the sink and swallowed the remainder of the semi-flavored water. As I exited my home, I secured the weighted vest on my shoulders and snapped it near my belly. The second my feet touched the porch, the sprint began.

I shoved my AirPods in my ears as I neared the gate. Slowly, it began to separate. I jogged in place as I waited for it to create enough space for Koen, August, and I.

Checking to make sure they were near was pointless. They were never too far away. Though they weren’t fond of my early morning runs, they’d grown accustomed to them over the last few weeks.

They hardly had a choice. If there was nothing else I did before sunrise, I ran. Every morning. No exceptions. Running for me was like swimming for Teddy. It was something I had to do. Something I couldn’t fathom a day without.

I found my footing on the paved road, hoping the bright vests August and Koen wore would alarm drivers and prompt them to steer clear of our path. The winding road climbed with each step we managed. The incline made the burn better. Unwanted calories didn’t have a fighting chance.

You said you wish I had a little more patience

And, I just wish your heart was vacant baby

Tell me whose been staying lately

When I call you don’t call back

I hummed, lowly, mentally articulating every lyric of Ever Ever by Teyana Taylor.

I turn into autumn, then I fall back

My heart rate tripled in speed. Though my legs kept moving, everything inside of me halted. Words no longer played in my head. I could no longer hear the sounds coming through my AirPods.

As the distance between me and the parted gates lessened, the figure standing between them became clearer. Still, I remained focused. Or, tried as best as I could, at least. I felt like a track star with a dropped baton as I passed the long, slender frame with legs that never ended.

My chest tightened and my breaths quickened. I had just started the twelve mile run and asthenia was already squeezing my lungs. Slowly, my eyelids slammed together. When they reopened, I was prayerful that my line of vision didn’t include the alarming presence.

Upon reopening them, I realized my prayer had been answered. However, a new issue had arisen. The smell of deodorant spread my nostrils by a full inch. The sight of black tennis shoes patting the ground mere inches from me set fire to my limbs.

I pushed a lump of air down my throat. Settling my heart became a pointless journey. My chest imploded with uncertainty.

I’d been anticipating this very moment, the moment I could set my legs free and allow them to uncage my mind. Unfortunately, they couldn’t serve their purpose because an imposture was amongst us. And, I was struggling to figure out if they were beneficial or hazardous to our mission.

Curiosity plagued me. Involuntarily, my head turned ninety degrees. Beside me was the man that visited me more often in my dreams than any other person, place, or thing. And, just like when I closed my eyes and envisioned him, Saint was stellar. He was beyond this world.

Unearthly.

Unreal.

Unbelievable.

Extraterrestrial .

A light, airy laugh parted my lips. I could feel a soft breeze against twenty four of my professionally polished and maintained teeth. My smile faded as Saint’s arm extended in my direction.