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He made it impossible. He closed the gap between us, kneeling beside me. I could feel his breath on my skin. His hands on my skin.

My fingers trembled. My eyes prickled. My stomach knotted.

Please .

“Sa–”

“Your permission– Do I have it, Rome?”

He caressed the side of my leg, extracting water from my well.

I nodded.

“Words.”

“Yessss–”

Wordlessly, he stood on his feet. With one flap of the table linen, the dishes went crashing to the ground. I straightened my spine. There was no turning back. This was happening. And, I wanted more than anything for it to happen.

I was in his hands in a flash. And, then, my back was against the round table. My legs were parted and my panties were pushed aside. His head lowered. His eyes disappeared.

My back arched. He’d reached me. His tongue pressed against my clit, lifting me from the table. It was warm. Wet. inviting. Comforting. Satisfying.

“Uhhhhhhhh–”

I fought for my next breath. Everything inside of me felt tingly. I squeezed my thighs but was met with resistance. Sac pushed my legs further apart and twirled his tongue around my most sensitive spot, leaving me vulnerable. Softened. Complete mush.

“Saaaaaaaaccc!”

I strained my neck to see him. I could feel him, but the sight of him made it all real. When he released me, I felt a blood-curdling scream in the pit of my chest.

Please!

“Sac–” I whimpered, “Please.”

“Saint–” he panted as if he’d run a marathon.

He hadn’t. His face had been buried in my fields for only a half a minute. Selfishly, I was advocating for his return. He felt too good. Too right. Too real.

“Please,” I begged, feeling the tears form in my eyes.

“My name is Saint, Rome. Say it.”

As the words left him, their place of origin was back on my flesh. He sucked my clit into his mouth, disabling all my brain cells.

“Ohhh– Sai–”

“Baby–”

I squeezed my eyelids tighter, praying the voice away. I needed more time. I needed more rest. I needed more sleep. I needed more of him. The mysterious, dominating presence that visited me often but not often enough.

Please.

“Baby!”

Go away.

“Rome. Baby.”

Chemistry nudged me from my slumber. My heart cried out for the fiftieth time. My dreams were too precious. I cherished every second of them. Being awakened unexpectedly was a punch to the gut.

“Teddy–” I whimpered, “Right now?”

“We’re here.”

I opened my eyes, regretting the second I did so. Seeing Chemistry standing in front of me made me forget how angry I was that he’d interrupted my dream.

“Teddy, we’ve gone over this so many times. Don’t wake me up from my sleep. I’m begging you.”

“We’ve been grounded for two and a half hours, baby. I’ve let you sleep as long as I can. We are sitting ducks. We have to move.”

He was right. I was regretful of my chastisement instantly. Chemistry would let me sleep for twelve hours if he could. I knew it. However, my feelings were twisted and tangled up in the moment that had now passed.

He was gone again. And, I was back to reality. It had happened a hundred times before. I should've been used to it, but I doubted I’d ever get used to it. It hurts the same every time.

Every time .

With each passing year and the progression of my age made it hurt even worse these days. I was ready. Ready for him. Ready for us. Ready for our lives together.

In this lifetime and all the others .

Sighing, I nodded. “I understand.”

“I’m sorry.”

His posture changed. His tone changed. His eyes changed.

“I know,” I said, pushing the blanket from my body. “I know, Teddy.”

“I’ve informed the hospital of our arrival. They are waiting. Tiana’s room is ready. We can visit.”

“Okay,” I breathed out. “I’m ready.”

The Clarke sun was beaming. It welcomed me back to the city with bright, yellow cheer. I stepped from the plane feeling highly rested, slightly aroused, and ready for what the city that held all of my dreams had to offer me.

My nostrils swelled as I descended the steps, picking up the familiar stench that always led to a wet, warm victory in the spring and summer.

Rain .

The door of the black SUV swung open. I slid inside, eyes straight ahead.

Teddy was next to me within seconds. Quietly, he unbuttoned the single button of his jacket for more comfort.

When the wheels began turning, he placed one leg over the other.

His phone’s screen lit up and he began pressing the accurate buttons to send a message.

Seeing him change so rapidly and beautifully was an honor. He’d softened around the edges, in the center, and in some spots throughout. As much as I adored the version of Chemistry I’d known my entire life, the more evolved and understanding version of him was my favorite.

I rested my head on the seat and closed my eyes, hoping sleep found me again. Hoping he found me again. There was so much to unpack. Too much to unpack. And, I didn’t want to do it alone. So, I went searching for him, again.

Unfortunately, sleep wasn’t easy. Neither was my search for him. When the SUV came to a stop thirty-two minutes later, I knew I’d run out of time. I tucked my top lip inside of my mouth and pressed my bottom teeth into my skin without breaking it.

Sighing, I waited for the brightness to meet the Prada shades I slid onto my face. It didn’t disappoint. The bright and partially unbearing star led me right into the confidential entrance of the hospital.

Teddy’s extended arm drew me closer. I planted my hands inside of his and allowed him to lead the way.

The thin heels of my pumps met the floor over and over. A swipe of the card in August’s possession allowed us to enter the elevator. Quietly, we gathered inside and waited until the doors reopened. Hand-in-hand, Teddy and I stepped onto another floor.

Deserted .

I took note of the empty nurse’s station. Medical assistants weren’t pushing around blood pressure machines. Doctors weren’t walking around with white coats clinging to their bodies. The family members of patients were combing the halls to find their rooms.

Silence met us. Silence guided us. And, silence plagued us as we reached the room that Tiana was resting in.

Her loud, admirable spirit had left her. She was quiet. Motionless. Still. Unmoving. Unchanging.

I removed myself from Teddy’s grasp. With the same hand he had held, I traced the long lines of the cover, leading to her pretty face. A tube trailed down her throat. Needles pierced her arm.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep .

Machines that kept her alive notified us of their presence. They wouldn’t allow me to forget that she was close to death.

“Bab–”

“She’s alive in there,” I expressed, placing my palm against Tiana’s chest.

“And her future?” Chem asked, folding his hands in front of him and pushing his legs apart.

“It’s bright,” I sighed, “But, the road will be long. And, hard, but she’s alive in there. That’s enough for now. That’s enough for me.”

Seeing Tiana in the predicament she was in shot daggers through my heart. There were so many feelings. So many revelations. So many questions. I stared up at Chem.

“What is it, Rome?”

I shook my head. “What has happened here is– is not what it seems. Not whatever they believe. Something tells me th– that whatever Tiana has suffered is no mistake. No rare occurrence. No strange cas– it’s something else, Teddy. I just can’t– I just don’t know what.”

“What are you saying, Rome?”

“I’m saying her body isn’t revolting… it’s responding.”

Teddy nodded.

“What do you want me to do?”

He was ready. Always ready. Always willing.

“Nothing–” I told him, “You can’t do anything that time won’t.”

That’s what my heart told me. So, instead of having Chem spend unnecessary energy on what would be revealed with time, I discouraged further action.

“I would like to leave now.”

“This way,” he said, holding out his hand for me to take.

I leaned over, pressing my lips against Tiana’s forehead. She was still warm. She was still trying.

“I love you, babe. Get better. I’ll be back,” I whispered before joining my brother near the door.

Click.

Clack .

We synced in stride. Our feet collided with the floor, finally halting at the open door of the SUV. Within seconds, we were off again. I fixed my gaze on the dark tint of the windows, peering out into the openness of the city.

Teddy had Tiana transferred into the private wing for our visit. His commitment to my happiness had never gone unnoticed. Today, it wouldn’t either.

“Thank you.”

My eyes were still trained on the window. However, I could feel Chemistry’s orbs on me. He was watching. He was wondering. He was waiting.

“You’re feeling a way,” he breathed out. “Should I be concerned?”

I shook my head.

“No. I’ll be fine.”

“I can stay a few days if yo–”

“The longer you stay, the harder it will always be. Go home, Teddy.”

“You are home. Wherever you are will always be home for me.”

“Egypt is home. I once was home, but I’m not anymore. You have a family.”

“Siblings included.”

“True, but you know what I mean.”

“You don’t even know what you mean, baby.”

“Chem–”

“I can stay.”

“But you won’t. I won’t allow you to.”

Silence .

“I’ve built a home for you,” Chemistry informed me, deflecting completely. “Much more grand than any of us let on. It is a home for you to grow in. Raise a family. Garden. Dance. Love. live. Explore. Make mistakes. Mature. And, retire in. I have one request, baby. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“What is that, Teddy?”

“Call me,” he explained. “Call me when you need me. Call me when you’re in a jam.

Call me when you’re feeling low. Call me when you’re overwhelmed.

I am not here, baby. I am what feels like a million miles away and the only way to feel centered is if you…

call me . Any hour, Rome. Do you understand? ”

I nodded as I swiped the fallen tear from my cheek. I hadn’t experienced much heartbreak in my life but Chemistry was breaking me to pieces with each word he spoke. He wasn’t a talker. He wasn’t one to sit on the phone and talk for even a few minutes.

Seconds were all you’d ever get from Chem on any device.

So, it wasn’t only the fact that he was interested in conversing with me on a cellular device, it was the fact that he was willing to risk it all to do so.

Because, while my family’s name was cleared in the database, he remained a fugitive who’d escaped from custody.

Though authorities swore he was somewhere lost at sea and waiting for his body to turn up one day, if he ever crossed their radar they wouldn’t hesitate to put him back in a cage where they thought he belonged.

He didn’t. He belonged in Clarke. Yet, he remained in St. Catana for the safety, security, and betterment of his family.

“Yes. I understand.”

“Good.”

“I love you.”

“In this lifetime and the next, baby.”