Page 48

The doors separated. I inhaled deeply and put my right foot forward. The smell of rain met me as I stepped inside of the large rectangle. Head down. Eyes on the ground.

I pressed the number eight. The cart began moving immediately. Dog footprints let me know that it wasn’t the smell of weather that lingered in the small space. It was the stench of a dog’s coat.

Ding .

The doors spread again. I exited the elevator, quick on my feet. They sunk into the carpet beneath me. I halted in front of the fourth door, removing the duplicate key from my pocket. I pushed the gold metal into the keyhole and twisted it.

The lock turned, granting me access. I entered the dark home. Grueling screams lured me through the dark home with overturned chairs, a broken television, shattered dishes, and litter throughout. While I made note of everything I encountered, it was the brown tin bottles that halted my stride.

With contorted features, I tilted my head and lowered my body to get a better look at the tins that were scattered throughout the condominium. The pain in my chest doubled.

HUFFINGTON marked the side of each bottle.

This bitch .

I marched toward the animalistic screams coming from the bedroom. Aliza’s recently bleached hair was nestled underneath a sparkling crown. A sash crossed her body. Her cheeks were streaked with mascara.

Tears blinded her. She didn’t notice my entry. I stood in front of her bed, wondering how unstable she truly was and if the people around her were aware of how far off the deep end she was.

Prima Ballerina marked the sash, handwritten with a red marker.

“Un-fucking-believable.”

The profanity from my lips was uncharacteristic, but I had no more words.

My temperature spiked. The room grew smaller, warmer, and less bearable by the second. My blood was boiling. I could feel it bubbling as it pumped through my veins.

“Rome?”

Without seeing my face, she knew my voice. Her eyes cut in my direction. She wiped her tears, smearing makeup across her face.

Pathetic .

“ROME!” She cried upon realizing she’d guessed accurately. “You’ve fucked everything up for me. Everything!”

Blood-curdling squeals erupted as Aliza’s fingers dug into her awful bleach job. She pulled at her stringy install, uprooting her clipped extensions.

“You were never supposed to be here! Now, you have everything I’ve worked for.”

“You’re one sick bitch. A weird bitch. A desperate bitch. An embarrassing bitch. I speak for all women when I say that. Even your mother . She should be right here with you, prepared for her life’s end for having a disgrace as yourself.

“I blame her for not choosing her knees the night you were conceived.

You deserved to be nut splatter on the wall not in the womb.

You are so infatuated with a crown that will never ever be yours that you poisoned an innocent woman simply because she was better than you.

More talented than you. Worked harder than you.

And, was rewarded for her talent and hard work.

“When you got Tiana out of the way, you thought you’d slide in and take her place. But, you failed to realize you’re not good enough. Not talented enough. Every position you attempt is shitty. Your turns are too hard. Your legs are too stiff.

“Your head is too fucking big. And, your confidence is in the basement. You haven’t seen it in years.

You piece of shit. You didn’t think they’d search for outside talent.

Real talent. Talent that isn’t forced. But, they did.

And, there I came. Innocent enough. Bright-eyed.

New to the cast. You asserted yourself the second I touched the stage.

“Pretending to be a friend. Or wanted to be a friend at least. Unfortunately for you, I sensed your bullshit the minute we met. I didn’t know why, but I knew patience would reveal while discernment wouldn’t allow me to give a damn about you or embrace whatever you were trying to build between us.

“Just to get close enough to me… to the one thing I consumed most. My water. And, I thought I was insane. You know. Didn’t understand why my water bottle was never in the same spot I left it in.

I thought for sure I was going crazy. I wasn’t .

I should’ve paid closer attention. I’m sure you thought you were in the clear when I fell to that floor in front of the people I loved.

“You cheered inwardly. Thinking it was your turn now. Surely. Bitch, you were wrong. It’ll never be your turn as long as I’m around.

You don’t get a turn, Aliza. Because you’re not my equal.

You’re not on the same level as me. Our paths are different.

We’re not in the same bracket. Physically, mentally, emotionally, or financially.

Simply put, you’re not fucking with me on any scoreboard. In any lifetime.

“You allowed my innocence to cloud your judgment. Newsflash, Dodo. My life was tailored. I wasn’t born to fit the mold I was forced into.

Yet, it suited me, so rebellion didn’t interest me.

Make no mistake, I’ve seen it all. Experienced it all.

And, just because I don’t indulge doesn’t mean I won’t. You didn’t just poison me, Aliza.

“You led my body to believe the child I had growing inside of me was a threat. In defense mode, it decided that my body was better off without my growing child. Doctors wanted to scrap my child from my womb,” I explained, climbing onto her bed with the gun still trained on her face. Her sheets were a mess.

When close enough, I grabbed her chin, opening her mouth. I jammed the gun inside. The sound of it colliding with her teeth brought me joy. Those pretty eyes were wide with shock. Her limbs stiffened. She was frozen in shock. Unsure of what to do. How to feel. Or where this ended.

“But, before I let them scrap my child from my womb, your parents will be scrapping you from your bedroom floor.”

Blow .

Her head slammed into the wall.

“Bitch.”

Blood splattered on my face, forcing my eyes closed. In an instant, I felt lighter. Relief washed over me. My heart beat slowly. My stomach unknotted for the first time in three days.

I exhaled, releasing a shaky breath. The fear I anticipated failed me. The regret I anticipated never found me. I kneeled in front of a lifeless Aliza with pride cruising through my veins.

Slowly, I removed the gun from her mouth and shoved it back in the pocket of my jacket, never releasing the handle. I pulled my hoodie further over my head while stepping over the mess she’d created as she mourned the crown that had been placed on my head tonight.

I stepped into the hallway, sure to close the door behind me. With my head low and my eyes on the ground, I began to whistle a familiar tone.

My lover’s got humor.

She’s the giggle at a funeral.

Knows everybody’s disapproval.

Should’ve worshiped her sooner .

I pressed the button, summoning the elevator. It took its precious time. I wasn’t in a hurry.

Aaaaa–

Amen.

Fireworks erupted in the distance, bringing a smile to my face. The timing was perfect. My man was bringing home the ring. Clarke Vultures had secured the championship.

Ding.

The elevator opened. I stepped in, head still low. I pressed the L with my elbow and leaned against the steel.

Amen.

Amen.

Take me to churc h.

My eyes closed briefly. There was so much happening inside of me. Still, I pushed wind through my lips. The elevator stopped at the first floor of the building. I made my way through the lobby.

I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife.

Offer me that deathless dead.

Oh good God,

Let me give you my life .

I exited the automatic doors, stepping onto the pavement again. My lips were still pursed, only making room for a small hole that high-pitched sounds exited.

Run.

Run, Rome.

I shook my head. Speed didn’t interest me. I didn’t have the energy or desire. One foot in front of the other, I began my journey home. No rush. No rules. Just liberation. Total. Complete liberation.

My legs didn’t stop moving until I was in my bedroom, holding onto the handle of my bathroom door, trying my hardest to collect my thoughts. Pain soared through me. Paralyzing me. My knees hit the floor. My heart fell with it.

The flicker of light in my bedroom was startling. My eyes quickly adjusted to the brightness. Once my vision cleared, I recognized the long, slim frame standing against the wall across the room.

Hands folded.

Face null of emotion.

He stared.

“Teddy–” I gasped.

“How did it feel?”

He knew. He always knew. His wisdom was both a gift and a curse.

“So natural. So instinctive. Like it was always meant to happen. Like it was exactly who I was born to be.”

Honesty unloaded the baggage I’d been carrying.

While I wasn’t as sharp or as convicted as Teddy or Rugs, I was just as capable.

Protecting me from the lifestyle they’d happily participated in almost meant nothing the moment I was faced with the decision to kill or not kill.

Now that I had, I felt nothing. Nothing for the deceased, but everything for me.

The child I would never get to hold in my arms. And, the struggles my body endured since I returned to Clarke.

“Maybe it is, but it is not who you have to be. It’s not who I will allow you to be. She was mine, Rome. I was there. I was ready to end it for her myself, because that’s what I am here for. Use me, baby. Don’t live a life of regret and mental turmoil. Once you take a l–”

“I feel nothing,” I assured him. “Nothing.”

He stared at me, eyes saddened and emotions in a place I had never seen in them before. On his sleeves. In his posture. He remained silent, attempting to compose himself. However, he was already exposed.

“I, too, am a killer,” I admitted.

“Don’t say that, baby,” he pleaded.