Page 18

It became quite apparent that he was part of the sport. I stepped back, praying for the distance we needed between one another. His eyes hadn’t left me and mine couldn’t leave him. I’d tried forcing them, but he was too captivating. Too alluring. Too enchanting. Too real.

“Whoops,” his sister chuckled.

My foot was on hers. Remorsefully, I turned, hoping I hadn’t injured her.

“I apologize.”

She waved me off. “Oh girl, it’s fine.”

Scrambling, I extended a hand to Nadia. As if we were long lost friends, she pushed my hand aside and wrapped her arms around me.

“You’re such a great time on stage. You belong there,” she said, rocking my body from side to side before letting me go.

Overwhelmed with social activity, my energy plummeted. I wanted nothing more than to run the opposite way.

“My sister is waiting.” I sighed. “I should be going now.”

“Yes. Of course. I’ll see you later. Maybe we can go for drinks after? You. Me. Saint. Nadia?”

“Maybe,” I responded, backing away slowly.

When Saint finally disappeared from my line of vision, I rounded my shoulders and sped down the other side of the stage. Down the hallway, I ran toward my dressing room. I wasn’t surprised to find Royce leaning against the door with her cellular device in her hand.

She was always working on something for someone, mostly Teddy. I wasn’t exactly clear on what her job consisted of and neither did I understand it much. However, I knew that she was the first person Teddy called when he needed things done. Mountains moved. Rugger was next.

“Superstarrrrrr–” she sang as she recognized me. “So listen, we’re going to need you to add a name to your list. Israel. Israel Kingston.”

Silently, I pushed through the door, hoping my broken heart would magically heal on the other side of it. I was bleeding profusely and the thought of dying before I got the chance to experience Saint in this lifetime was shattering.

“Bab–” Royce paused as she made it inside. She pushed the door closed and followed me deeper into the suite. It was once my safe place. Now, it felt like my personal pit in hell.

I stood with a misaligned posture. My cheeks sagged. My shoulders hung. My lips trembled. And, my chest rose and fell with despair.

“What’s the matter?”

I tried gathering myself.

Remain calm.

Remain collected.

Remain confident.

I failed. There hadn’t been a thing I’d failed in, in life, but I failed. Miserably. Still, the words came out as if they belonged in the air. Changing the atmosphere. Changing me. Changing my head. Changing my heart.

“He’s real,” I pushed out as the first tear touched my cheek.

“Ro!” Royce’s eyes bulged, nearly extracting themselves from her head.

“He’s real, but everything is wrong.”

“I don’t understand. Talk to me.”

“The man I’ve known in every lifetime as my husband is another woman’s fiance. A woman who has taken interest in me as a friend, and while I hate to make enemies in my profession, this situation hardly leaves me with a choice.”

“As your sister and as the person who handles almost every issue that arises in this family, you’re no stranger to my advice, baby— Handle it . With class. With tact. With excellence. With pride. And, with your morals intact by the time it all ends.”

I nodded, accepting her words of encouragement.

“I didn’t have intentions of doing anything else. My heart and head leave me no choice. He belongs to me, Ro. That will never change. Not even in this lifetime.”

“I can drink to that.”

“After that encounter, so can I.”

It wasn’t often I consumed alcohol. I preferred sobriety over inebriation. Tonight, however, I didn’t mind a drink or even a half of one.

“Good, because I’m paying. You’re a cheap drink date. A half of a glass and you’re gone. Lightweight.”

“I don’t consider that light.”

“I’m with you when you’re right, now.”

I chuckled, finding humor in the hardships I was facing.

“I’m going to get dressed. I won’t be long.”

“I’ll be waiting– right over there.”

She pointed at the sofa as she started toward it.

“Okay.”

I exhaled, allowing my emotions to tumble out of my body with the same breath.

All things will align . I reminded myself, removing my pointe shoes. In every lifetime .

The wheels of the Rolls Royce came to a halt halfway around the arched driveway. August was out of the backseat and around the SUV in a flash. How his legs moved so swiftly was always baffling to me.

Nevertheless, I stepped down and allowed him to close the door behind me. Silently, I stared straight ahead, admiring the flowers I’d chosen to garnish my yard. They were a combination of soft pinks, whites, and ivories.

“Hmmmmmm,” I breathed out, barely above a whisper.

This home–

This beautiful home–

It was a far cry from the loft I’d left behind nearly five years ago. It was a reminder that I was still alone. Its quietness told me night after night that he wasn’t here. Tonight, it told me he wasn’t mine.

“You good, Balle?” August questioned as I stood in the doorway, long after he’d opened it.

“I will be,” I claimed, stepping into the castle that was built for a growing family.

Unfortunately, it was only me. Still, Teddy insisted. He knew my desires. He knew my heart. And, I knew his. This was his apology. His way of saying he was sorry for uprooting my life for so long. His way of trying to make amends.

There was nothing to be sorry for, in my opinion.

I’d been on the tips of my toes since I was two years old.

It was time I gave them a rest. During those years away, I’d grown.

I’d matured. I’d discovered who I truly was in this world.

I no longer struggled to find an identity of my own off stage.

I knew exactly who I was now. St. Catana had shown me.

I secured the locks even knowing that I wasn’t alone. I was never alone. August and Koen were always near. Their new residence was on my property. It was a multiple family home split into two townhomes that would house up to six people.

While August was single and childless, Koen had two children with his ex-wife.

When my calendar was empty, he would be inviting them over.

The issue was, my calendar was hardly empty.

But, my heart wouldn’t allow him to go too long without seeing his children, even if that meant bringing them along with us every now and again.

My heels tapped against the wooden floor. The smell of fresh paint was obnoxious. It fought hard to overpower the vanilla and caramel plug-ins in every few hundred feet of my home. However, it was outnumbered.

I stopped to relieve my feet of the Louboutin heels that mimicked the pointe shoes of ballerinas. They were the perfect gift from Range. Strangely, their comfort level was impressive.

Slipping right out of them, I slipped into a pair of chunky wedges that were lined with feathers and light pink in color. The fridge was my first stop. While I didn’t enjoy a drink with Royce, I enjoyed her company before work pulled her away from the table for far too long.

I uncapped the filtered water I’d filled my bottle with.

As it slid down my throat, my body’s temperature lowered drastically.

I’d been trying to put out the fire inside since encountering him .

It wasn’t until the bottle was approximately seventy-five percent empty that I released the matte brown bottle.

My physical health improved dramatically. But, mentally and emotionally, I was still a prisoner. I refilled the bottle to the very top and placed it back in the fridge. By morning, it would be the perfect temperature and the perfect start to my day.

I took the stairs one by one. The weight of my reality kept me grounded, nearly stilled. My movements were slow. My heart was heavy. My thoughts were boggled.

The spiraled stairs proved to be a challenge. I regretted not using the four passenger elevator Teddy installed for nights like this one. Because I was halfway up, I knew there was more work going down than to keep pushing.

The second floor greeted me with crisp, cold air. My arms and back swelled with fine, hard bumps. A yawn widened my mouth and watered my eyes. Slowly, sluggishly, I entered my bedroom. The king-sized platform bed was calling out to me, tempting me.

I can’t.

Though I considered it, I knew I couldn’t climb inside without scrubbing my limbs of the day’s dirt. Mudding my sheets with the germs I’d encountered wasn’t an option, so I dragged myself across the room and into the bathroom.

Without haste, I slid the straps of my dress down my arms. Effortlessly, it fell to the floor, surrounding the shoes that had come as no surprise from Roulette. My nipples pebbled from the cold. I slid my hands up and down my arms, hoping to bring comfort and warmth. There was hardly any use.

To put an end to my misery, I pressed the top button on the floor’s thermostat. Right beside it was the thermostat for the entire bathroom. I hiked it up by five degrees.

My nipples led my body to the shower. I powered on the water and adjusted its temperature as well. The neatly wrapped bun would reserve the state of my hair. There was no need for a protective layer.

I leaned my body against the glass. It was cold to the touch, but I welcomed the chill. The bathroom was heating up around me. My skin wasn’t as tight and didn’t hurt as much.

“Saint,” I released, “De Bacco.”

Sac . The nickname made perfect sense now. It was a combination of his first and last names.

Saint De Bacco.

Clarke Vultures.

Shooting guard.

Clarke-born.

Twenty-eight.

I’d done my homework with the help of Royce.

“My disdain for television has kept me away from him all these years.”

“Life did that, Ro, not you. Besides, you wouldn’t have known him back then if he’d looped you a hundred times. Back then there wasn’t a face. There wasn’t even a voice. Just a presence.”

“I would’ve known. I would’ve felt it. He feels special.”

“Maybe. But, you weren’t ready, baby. Now– now you are.”

“And, he isn’t.”

“He will be. I know he will be. He doesn’t have much of a choice. If I have to hand deliver him to your door then I will.”

“I know you will, but let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”

“Fingers crossed.”

“Fingers crossed.”

We’d had the most interesting conversation we’d had since I was able to form a full sentence.

Steam emitted from the top of the shower as it began to beep, confirming it had reached its desired temp. I removed my slippers and stepped inside. The water trickled down my body, warming me instantly. I closed my eyes, hoping to find someone in particular there.

I didn’t have to wait long. The second I was surrounded by darkness, there he stood in all his glory. Ready. Willing. And waiting.