Page 41

TWELVE

Wake.

Run.

Saint.

Rehearsal.

Saint.

Lunch.

Home.

Saint.

Dinner.

Saint.

Sleep.

More Saint.

My schedule was simple and mundane, but it was the most rewarding schedule I’d had in some time, now. I missed my sisters and I missed our hour-long talks, but I was so close to opening night that all I lived, breathed, and thought about was positions and steps and ballet as a whole.

Saint was hardly even on my mind. It was his presence that kept him relevant at the moment. Not because he didn’t matter to me. He mattered to me a great deal. It was because I was preparing for the greatest performance of my life and I had someone counting on me.

Tiana, I sure miss you, babe .

Saint knew it, and he respected it. He gave me the space I needed to mentally, physically, and emotionally commit myself to the production while still being present.

“Again!” Cecilia yelled.

My stomach knotted, flaring my nostrils.

The internal clock in my head revealed the hour of the day.

We were approaching seven and I was hoping there was an ending in sight.

We’d gone over the show in full a hundred times, it seemed.

While this would’ve been ideal any other day, it was far from it today.

First.

Second.

Third.

Fourth.

Fifth.

Croisé devant.

Effacé.

écarté.

First through fifth arabesque .

“Rome– you’re free to go. Romeo– free to go. Haleigh– free to go.”

My feet dropped with a thud. The weight of my body felt like far too much to maintain at once. With my nose in the air and my chest caved, I exited the stage. As more names were called, I pushed forward, determined to get to the water station.

Thank God . I cheered silently, pressing a palm against the wooden cubbies.

Leaning over, I searched the cubby for the brown Huffington bottle I’d stored. Naturally, my eyes glanced at the third cubby where I remembered placing it. To my surprise, it was in the fourth.

Gosh, I’m all over the place .

Brain fog from total exhaustion was truly my worst enemy today. I uncapped the bottle and poured the cold water down my throat. Instantly, I felt better.

More of my cast mates rushed off the stage, down the stairs, and to their bottles. Others kept pushing, finding their dressing rooms. It was official, we’d survived another practice.

The Wayward Enchantress was a story of a villager in search of love, stumbling upon a wounded member of the royal family and casting a love spell that would make him fall head over hills for her. While she quickly realized the spell didn’t work, she also noticed how fate had.

The royal family member began making frequent trips to the village to find her, spending only a few minutes a day in her presence until he could no longer withstand her absence during the time he was at the palace.

The introduction to the family hadn’t gone as planned, leaving their newfound love in jeopardy. Nevertheless, it prevailed.

“Good job out there, Rome,” Romeo breathed, lowering his water bottle.

I did the same, trying my hardest to catch my breath.

“Thank you.”

The contents of my stomach threatened to spill from my mouth. I turned on my heels and headed for the restroom, hoping I made it in time. The bathroom in my dressing room wasn’t an option. It was too far away.

My legs moved with precision, one foot in front of the other.

Though fatigue was weighing me down like a sack of bricks, I carried the extra baggage without a second thought.

I slammed my hand into the community restroom door and powered through until my knees were resting on top of two paper toilet covers and my head was over the commode.

“Urgh. Urgh.”

I heaved.

“Urgh. Urrrrrrrrgh.”

My stomach sunk as my chest protruded. Foamy white liquid surrounded my mouth.

“My God, what’s happeni– urrrrrrgh–”

My palms were flat against the toilet bowl. I was desperately trying to keep from falling in. The heaving was intense, pulling my body along every time.

Heat consumed me. My body grew warmer by the second. I felt the urge to remove my clothes and lay out on the cool, dirty restroom floor. But, I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.

Instead, I rested my bottom on the cold floor and my head against the stall. Sweat poured from my forehead. My strength had depleted. Tears formed in my eyes as I checked the damage I’d done.

I feel awful . I whimpered inside, unsure of what was happening to me.

To my surprise, the toilet was empty. Nothing came up. Nothing came out. Just thick, white foamy bubbles in the toilet and on my lips.

I remained on the floor with my head against the stall as I gathered myself, hoping to gain the strength to pick myself up off the floor. Momentarily, my lids sealed. I steadied my heart with even, calculated breathing.

Get up, baby.

Chem’s voice taunted me.

You’re a sitting duck.

My eyes opened at once. I placed my hands on the floor and began pushing upward. Strength, from some unknown place, equipped me with the energy needed to stand on my feet with the toilet covers in my hand. I flushed the toilet and watched the paper go down.

When I stepped out of the stall and into the common area, I was swayed by the idea of cold water touching my face. I leaned over the sink and splashed my face with hydrant water. I began to feel better instantly.

“God, that feels good.”

I closed my eyes and allowed the water to drip down my body. The coolness was refreshing. I wanted to put my entire body in the sink and have a cold bath.

“Are you okay?”

A quick glance in the mirror revealed Aliza’s big, wondrous and worrisome eyes.

Concern was etched in her tone. Not much had been the same since I informed her of the fate of Saint and I.

I wasn’t expecting it to be. While we weren’t friends, she’d taken my advice and decided against making an enemy of me.

I nodded. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

There was a long, awkward pause before she nodded.

“This doesn’t have to be awkward, Rome. I understand you’re seeing Saint, now. Things seem to be going well according to him. I–”

“Aliza, I won’t discuss my partner with you if that’s what you’re hoping.

Whatever Saint and I have going on is between Saint and I.

You won’t cause a disturbance between us by hinting that you all talk.

I know you do. It’s exactly what I’d expect childhood friends to do.

Besides, what other choice does he have knowing you will lay on that line until he answers? ”

“I–”

“Call far too much. Woman to woman– stand up . Never give a man a chance to show you or tell you he doesn’t want you twice. This goes for Saint and anyone else. He’s not exempt from treating yourself with respect and having some dignity.

“It doesn’t matter that you didn’t have a fall out, life-altering breakup. It was a breakup, nonetheless. Chin up. Chest out. You’re a beautiful girl who said yourself you were both settling. In case you haven’t figured it out, Aliza, you still are.

“Settling for unanswered calls. Ignored texts. Voicemails. And whatever else is left of Saint after I’m finished with him on a daily basis. Don’t do that to yourself.”

She remained silent, shifting her weight as she gnawed on her bottom lip. I splashed water on my face a final time and grabbed a paper towel.

“How is he?” She asked.

I patted my face dry before giving her my attention, again. “Happy.”

On my way out of the door, I tossed the paper towel in the trash. The hallway produced fresh, uncontaminated air that helped reboot my system. Though I wasn’t one hundred percent, I wasn’t nearly as bad as I had been when I stepped inside of the restroom.

I reached my dressing room and found my detail waiting. Koen was the first on his feet. August followed.

“Balle. Is everything alright?”

“Yes. I’m fine. Are you guys ready to go?”

“Yeah. Would you like to grab something to eat before we head to your home?”

“You haven’t eaten all day. I don’t know how you put in them long ass hours witho–”

“August–” Koen chastised his counterpart.

“You haven’t eaten, Balle. That could be the reason you don’t look so well. Let’s stop and get food before we take you home.”

“I’m not going home,” I informed them, gathering my things.

Koen stepped in, swatting my hands so he could finish the job.

“I’m going to Saint’s.”

“Should I let him know we’re on the way?” August asked.

“No. I need silence. No words. No music. Nothing. Just peace and quiet.”

“We can manage that.”

“Very well.” I sighed, tossing the hoodie over my head as we filed out of the dressing room.

With my arms folded over my chest and the hood over my head, I made it through the theater, sandwiched between August and Koen. The crisp Clarke sun welcomed me with vengeance. I regretted tucking my shades away as soon as it touched my skin.

“Balle–” Koen called out, turning to face me.

My body halted just before running into him. The black Dior shades I’d strapped in my bag were in his hand. I accepted them, pulling them onto my face before continuing.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

I climbed inside of the SUV and rested my head against the front of the seat. Sighing, I prayed for relief from whatever I was experiencing. We were off in a flash.

Bzzzt.

My phone vibrated in the hoodie. I removed it slowly, careful to reserve the little energy I had left. Egypt’s name crossed the screen. She’d sent a message to the entire group of women in our family.

My cheeks fluffed at the sight of Dru. Her silky smooth skin and perfectly coiled hair healed something within me. I swiped my fingers across my screen at a rapid pace, typing out the message that was on my heart.

My truest love, Jru! I miss you beyond words. I love you. You’re the most precious girl on God’s green earth. Kiss Daddy for me .

The messages began rolling in. Everyone in the group was fond of the image of Jru having a beach day with Egypt, who she’d likely scared a hundred times with her deep plunges in the ocean. She was a better swimmer than her mother.