Page 42

She was a better swimmer than most of us. That worried my sister. It worried her to the core. But, Jru was fearless. Teddy was raising her the same way our father had raised us.

The world had better prepare for you, not the other way around. Let nothing happen to you. Let everything happen for you . Richie’s words stuck with me. He had a phrase for every phase of our lives. He was never wrong. It all made sense in the end. Every time.

Bzzzt .

My phone vibrated again as a notification appeared at the top of my screen.

My Saint .

Even the sight of his name put my mind at ease. I twisted my body to the right, bringing my knees up to my chest. I exited the group text and opened the pinned thread from Saint and I. Our messages were few and far apart. He was always near. And, when he wasn’t, he was a phone call away.

Hearing his voice felt so much better than reading his words most days. Today wasn’t an exception. I not only wanted to hear his voice, but I wanted to feel his body against mine. I wanted his warmth and energy to transfer.

Missing you, Mellow.

I laid my phone against my chest. There was no greater feeling than knowing his love existed. For me . My wait was graciously rewarded and I’d be reaping the benefits of my patience for the rest of this lifetime.

I peered out of the front window, unsure of how much time we had before we arrived at his place. The drive from the theater was a rather lengthy one. Traffic nearly doubled the journey’s time. But, we were making great strides.

18 more minutes . I silently calculated, bracing myself for the ride.

Missing you more . I responded.

Call me when you settle in.

Okay.

I wouldn’t have to call, because it was him I’d be settling beside. However, I avoided that piece of information. Seeing the pure pleasure on his face knowing I was staying at his place for the night would be worth the secrecy.

I closed my eyes, wishing sleep would have me at last. The day had been long. My stomach was empty. And my heart was vulnerable.

I was craving something but it wasn’t food. It was Saint’s bed. His arms. His kisses. His comfort. Him. My Saint .

It wasn’t long before the bumps in the road rocked me to sleep. My body shut down naturally. With August next to me, I succumbed to the inevitable.

I stirred awake as the wheels of the car came to a complete stop. The fifteen minute nap did wonders for my mental and physical health. Emotionally, I still felt a complete mess. I pulled myself from the leather of the seat that my face had stuck to like glue.

I tried gathering my bearings. It proved to be more difficult than I assumed.

“Mellow–” Saint’s voice rang out as the sun burst through the back door.

I turned to find him standing beside the vehicle with crinkled brows and anguished eyes. I slid to the edge of the seat and then onto the ground. Our bodies met. His against mine. Mine against his.

He wrapped those long arms around me, pulling me into his chest. I released a weighty breath and allowed everything I was feeling to come to the forefront.

“What’s the matter, Rome?”

“Everything,” I exaggerated. “And, nothing.”

Taking my response for exactly what it was, Saint grabbed the bag that Koen was handing him and took me by the hand.

“Appreciate that. Everything good?”

“She needs to eat. She hasn’t had anything since breakfast and her body took a beating at rehearsals.”

“Good looking out.”

“Of course. Get some rest, Balle. We’ll be out here if you need us.”

Wherever I was, they were. Wherever I stayed, they stayed. They never left my side. They were never too far away. Always waiting and watching for any signs of danger.

“Goodnight, Koen– August.”

August nodded, bidding me farewell.

I followed Saint inside of his home. His sheets were beckoning for me. However, the smell of spices lured me toward the kitchen. On the stove was a bottle of wine, a used skillet, two pots, and steak sauce.

“You made dinner?”

He nodded. “I did.”

“Enough for two?”

“Just enough for two. Have a seat.”

I didn’t protest. I found the nearest seat at the lengthy table where Saint was dining alone. His home was immaculate and professionally decorated. His interior designer had a great eye. Everything was simple yet so complex.

Saint’s home was newly built, but it wasn’t as fresh as mine. I could still smell the paint in my home. His had sat for some time, slightly masking its newness. However, it still had that vibe. That emptiness. The hollowness that made it evident it had been empty for a good while.

“Your body is good to you, Rome. Don’t treat it this way and expect it to respond positively.”

“Yes, sir.”

Our voices echoed as we spoke. A sheer reminder that we were alone. Often and preferably. But, still, alone. I found comfort in that. In him. In us.

He rounded the island in his favorite uniform. Loose shorts. Nike socks. White tee. It was so simple, but he looked so good it was almost pathetic.

I watched as he took a glass plate with raised edges from the cabinet. He went from one pot to the other, piling dinner on it. He topped it off with a drizzle of steak sauce. When he returned to the table, he grabbed a cold glass bottle of water.

He set my plate near the chair he’d been sitting in. His hands wrapped around the dining chair and pulled it closer to him. He took the fork from his plate and stabbed the steak he’d cut before my arrival. Saint neared my mouth with the protein.

“Open up.”

He pushed it into my mouth gently. I cleared the steak from the fork. My tastebuds lit up like a tree on Christmas.

“Mmm–”

“Here,” he urged, forking potatoes and green beans.

I opened up again.

The combination of flavors left me dumbfounded. The peppery steak. The garlic potatoes. The vinegared green beans.

I chewed until everything was soft enough to swallow. Little by little, I pushed it down my throat.

“Here.”

One bite at a time…

Slowly…

Gently…

Patiently…

Softly…

Saint fork-fed me like a six-month old having solids for the first time. The richness of the moment added three whole years to this lifetime.

“Here.”

It wasn’t a fork full of food.

“Mmmm.”

I pressed my lips against Saint’s. My plate was empty. I’d happily cleaned it with his assistance.

“Come on,” he said, patting my leg, “Let me get you in the bath. I’ll clean this up after I get you undressed and in the water.”

A shower wouldn’t suffice. Saint knew exactly what I needed. He’d pushed his body to the extreme enough times to have experienced the rejection I was feeling.

“Thank you.” I sighed.

He paused, planting his body back in the seat he’d just gotten up from. He pulled my hands into his and summoned my orbs with his.

“Don’t do that, Mellow. Don’t thank me for doing exactly what I’m supposed to do. Save your applause for when I really, really knock this shit out of the fucking park. Caring for you while you’re feeling even the slightest bit of discomfort is the very least I can do for you.

“I would expect the same from you. That’s what we both signed up for that night on that rooftop. I haven’t forgotten it, and I won’t let you either.”

He brought the back of my hand to his mouth.

“Come on. You look exhausted.”

I nodded. “Because I am,” I admitted, just as a yawn spread my lips apart.

Saint released my hand and stood up again. This time, he didn’t wait for me to stand. He leaned over and scooped me out of the chair. My arm pressed against his chest, following my head.

The safest place .

The safety and security Saint’s presence offered with Teddy being away and the changes in my family’s dynamic was immeasurable. He was quickly becoming the stability I once loved and depended on.

“I love you, woman,” he whispered, kissing my forehead. “Having you here was the best, sweetest surprise ever.”

“Yeah?”

“Damn right. I was already over here trying to figure out what excuse I was going to use to get my ass to your crib. Then, I thought, I don’t need an excuse.

I’m just popping up at her shit. Flowers and food in-hand.

Your rehearsal nearly starved me to death.

My stomach was touching my back. Had to make something shake. Whip it up in my kitchen.”

“It was good, baby.”

“Appreciate that, love. Now that I’ve fed you, I’m going to clean you and then put you to sleep.”

“Exactly how are you going to do that?”

“You’ll just have to wait and see.”

A comfortable silence met us. My feet didn’t touch the floor until I was in the bathroom. The cold tile flooring sent a chill up my spine.

I made my way into the separate area designated for the toilet. I peeled my clothes down my body and allowed them to fall onto the floor. The back of my thighs hugged the toilet seat as my bladder emptied. The water from the tub had triggered my flow.

“I might be biased, Mellow, but–”

Saint’s voice startled me. I looked up to witness his flawlessness leaning against the doorframe. One hand was brushing the hair of his chin and the other was across his chest.

“You’re the prettiest thing on God’s green earth. He wasn’t in a hurry creating you. It took a lot of trial and error. Six, exactly. Seven if you’d like to include your mother. And, then came you. Last. A culmination of all the good things in every woman in your immediate family. A masterpiece.”

“Saint,” I managed.

My voice cracked with emotion. Widened nostrils confirmed the instability of my emotions. I was unwell. That factored into all the things I was feeling. So, with that bit of information, I silenced myself. I wouldn’t last more than a few words without pricked eyes and a heavy heart.

“But, again… I might be biased.”

He tossed his hands in the air and shrugged his broad shoulders. I cleaned myself up and flushed the tissue down the toilet. When I stood, heading out, Saint hadn’t moved.

“What?” I chuckled, matching his gaze.

“I want you to meet my parents.”

“I’ve met your parents,” I reminded him.

He tilted his head and nodded.

“You have. As our neighbor. Not as the woman I’ve fallen in love with.”

“Saint–”

“Yes?”

“Your father knew you were in love with me before he met me at my door. Your mother knew by the time you stepped off my porch. Your sister learned the night we met. Your feelings were only a secret to you. Everyone else knew.”

“And how do you know?” He asked, pulling me into him.

“Because I know.”

“You think you know every fucking thing, huh?” He asked, kissing my lips.

“Well, it’s not a thought, baby. And, neither is it everything. Just some things,” I explained, kissing him this time.

He released me and caught my right hand. I was led into the openness of the bathroom where the tub sat in the middle of the floor. My nipples hardened from the chill that ran the length of my spine.

With Saint’s help, I stepped into the tub. Foamy bubbles welcomed me. I lowered my body into the warm water. The temperature was perfect. I slid down slightly, placing my head on the plush bath pillow behind me. This was my first time in the massive bowl but it wouldn’t be the last.

“Comfortable?”

I nodded.

“Good. I’m going to grab your clothes and put them in the washing machine. Then, I’m going to tidy up in the kitchen. Don’t move, Mellow. Rest your head,” he demanded, kissing my head.

“Rest your heart. Rest your eyes. Rest your body. Rest your soul. You hear?”

I nodded, craving another forehead kiss. As if he heard my cries, Saint kissed me again.

Muah.

Muah.

And, again.

I closed my eyes, etching this memory in my head. I wanted to be reminded of what I was waiting for in the next lifetime.

“I wanna fold clothes fa ya–” Saint sang, standing on his feet. “I wanna make you feel good.”

I chuckled, amused by his theatrics. He disappeared in the toilet area as he collected my clothes. When he returned, he used them as a makeshift guitar.

“Baby I want to do the right things… they feel so much better than the wrong things.”

He headed for the door, playing his heart out on the imaginary guitar.

Just as he met the threshold, he turned around and shouted, “I never thought I’d see the day I’m drinking almond milk. You soft, I wanna fold clothes fa ya.”

My entire face upturned with a smile. Saint had made it clear that he desired companionship. He wanted to be a partner. A true partner. A present partner. He didn’t want a partner selfishly.

“If I could make life easier… the way you do mine!” I heard him yell from the hallway.

“Save you some time. Alleviate a bit of stress from your mind,” I sang quietly, closing my eyes and bobbing my head, “Help you relax. Let you recline.”

A sigh followed as J. Cole’s lyrics played in my head. A massive yawn wasn’t very far behind. And, within seconds, I was counting sheep.