Page 45

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep .

I peeled my eyelids apart. Slowly, I was gathering my strength. Darkness coated the hospital room. I lifted my right arm to find an IV injected into my vein, pumping me with fluids. There was another filtering my blood.

My left arm tingled from numbness. So did my left side. Saint’s scent was overwhelmingly good. I leaned forward, burying my head in his chest. He was sound asleep.

I drifted off again. Those that I loved surrounded me. The peace I found was immeasurable.

Out .

Groaning, I rolled onto my back. Sunlight pushed through the windows.

“Baby?”

Saint’s voice pulled me in, keeping me conscious and alert.

“Yes?” I groaned.

“Baby, I know that breath kicking. Stand back, honey.”

“Rou!” Rather called out.

I couldn’t help but chuckle. Though halfway annoying, she was hardly ever wrong.

“She laughs,” Range cheered.

“How are you feeling?”

Saint hovered over me, brushing my hair back. It was no longer in a bun. It wasn’t even in a ponytail. It was flat against my head, hanging down my back.

“Thirsty.”

There was movement in every direction, everyone rushing to my aid. Teddy was the first by my side, placing a straw up to my mouth. I chugged the water and waited for the cup Roulette had in her hand.

Feeling better after hydrating my mouth and throat, I sat up in bed. Saint was robotic. He moved when I moved, waiting for the moment I needed assistance. I smiled.

“I’m fine. I feel fine,” I admitted. “I feel just fine.”

“You don’t look it–” Roulette tittered.

“How long was I out?”

“You’ve been here since Friday. It’s Sunday.”

“Two days?”

Everyone nodded.

“I missed opening night?”

Devastated, I closed my eyes. I let Tiana down. The pain soared through my chest.

“We’re not worried abou–”

“I am. I should’ve been there.”

“You will be. Your body just needed some rest. And, a reset,” Roaman said, walking into the room.

She wasn’t alone. She was accompanied by a doctor. A female doctor.

“This is Dr. Clemmons. Dr. Clemmons, Rome. Rome Childers.”

“The Ballerina,” Dr. Clemmons said as she moved closer to the bed.

Saint stood, giving us the space we needed.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like myself again.”

“That’s good and to be expected, given the circumstances.”

“What are the circumstances, exactly?” Saint questioned.

“Before I go into detail, I want to make sure you are okay with releasing medical information to everyone present.”

I nodded slowly.

“Yes.”

Roaman stepped forward.

“If you don’t mind, Dr. Clemmons. I’d like to explain what is going on with Rome.”

“Go right ahead. I’m here if you need me.”

She stepped back, allowing Roaman to take the lead. The eldest of the girls drew in a shaky breath and released it slowly. It was apparent that she was ready to place something on our hearts. I braced for impact.

“I could drag this on with a hundred medical terms, but in short, there was a foreign substance found in Rome’s system, causing her vital organs to begin to shut down. This didn’t happen at once.

“Over time, this substance has been entering her body and slowly wreaking havoc. The constant fatigue. Tiredness. Feeling faint. It was all because this poisonous substance was taking a toll on your organs. Your body was trying its hardest to fight it off.

“As best as it could. However, Friday night, you were served a lethal dose. Hadn’t we got you here sooner, you could’ve died. You would’ve died.”

Teddy’s footsteps garnered my attention. Roaman extended a hand, stopping him from exiting the room as she continued.

“There’s more–” She sighed.

Another deep breath was inhaled and then pushed out.

Silence left us all wondering what more there could possibly be. Roaman swallowed the lump in her throat. Her eyes glistened with tears. Before the words left her mouth, my heart broke. She didn’t have to say it for me to know what she was about to reveal. I felt it. I felt it in my bones.

“There–” she choked out, “There were–”

Her face contorted as if the news was causing her physical pain.

“Uh– there were signs of a fe– of a fetus.”

Gasps filled the room. Saint’s hand landed on my leg. He squeezed tightly, listening intently as Roaman continued.

“Friday, when you came in, your levels were elevated. I noticed the signs and made note of them. I had them check it out. During your tests, an ultrasound was performed. A baby– a baby in its first month of life was growing inside of you. But, as your body tried to flush itself of the toxins, it fell victim to the complete overhaul… complete system reset… Unfortunately–”

Teddy’s feet were like boulders hitting the ground. He stood in front of Saint, eyes wide with rage and heart full of hurt. I could see every breath he took and every breath he released. His body was trembling. He wore his pain on his hip like his pistols. He was wounded. Scarred.

“Somebody has to die,” he grimaced, finger pointed at Saint’s chest, “It better not be you, my nigga.”

I released my breath as he marched out of the door. Rugger was hot on his heels. I closed my eyes, allowing the information I’d received to set in.

“Anything else, Mani?”

The young, naive Rome came to the forefront. There was a time Roaman Emani Childers was my saving grace. It was her temperament and tone I related to most.

“No, baby.”

“How am I? Aside from everything you just laid on me?”

“You’re fine, thankfully. I suggest you go through with a common procedure to remove the baby from your womb. It is a swift procedu–”

“Other options?”

“Allowing it to pass naturally.”

“Miscarry?”

“Yes.” She sighed. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

I shook my head. “None of this is your fault. It’s no one’s fault in this room.”

“Should you change your mind and decide to go through with–” Dr. Clemmons started.

“I won’t. Thank you, Doctor.”

“Understood. Understood. Do you have any questions?”

“Can I dance?”

Silence .

“Can I dance?” I asked again, opening my eyes.

“Yes. I don’t see why you couldn’t. However, I want you to note the risks. Your body will try to rid itself of your baby. Being that you were only in the first month of pregnancy, it–”

“I’ll deal with it when it comes. Thank you, Doctor.”

“My pleasure. Anything else?”

“Yes, unhook me. I have someone to visit.”

“We can arrange your discharge. If you’d just give me a few minutes, I can get your nurse in here to get the IV out of your arm.”

“Thank you.”

“You all have a nice day.”

“Same to you,” Roaman replied.

Dressed in a pair of brown joggers and a cropped top to match, I stood in the doorway of Tiana’s hospital room. Months had passed her by and she was still sleeping peacefully. I stepped inside, nearing her bedside.

I sat on the edge and pulled her hand into mine. She was so cold. I leaned over, placing a hand on her heart. The beat was strong. She was still in there.

“I know I’ve been meaning to come down and see you. You didn’t have to drag me in here to make it happen,” I breathed out. “Nevertheless, thank you. This visit has been enlightening. So many revelations.”

Lowering my head, I paid attention to her small hands. She was only 5’3 on her best day. She was tiny but she was fierce and so good at what she did.

“I miss you, babes. I don’t recall a time I was on stage and you weren’t near. Since what– twelve?”

I nodded.

“We’re getting old, Tiana.”

I straightened my spine and peered at her pretty face.

“I know you’re in there and I know you hear me.

I am going to finish what I started. I am going to crush every show from beginning to end.

I am going to put on my big girl panties and get the job done.

When I told you all those years ago that you never had to worry, I’d always have your back… I meant that.”

Emotions swelled my chest and burned my eyes. Tears cascade down my face.

“I’m keeping my word. I just need you to get up and get out of this bed. I need you to come back to us. To your mother. To your father. To your sister. To your brother. Fight, Tiana. Fight like hell. You’ve rested long enough. They need you. I need you.”

I swiped my eyes as a smile cut through.

“I met a guy. And, I gave him all of me. He gave me a baby. Our child didn’t survive whatever the hell my body just suffered from, but I did.

I need you to do the same. We’re resilient.

We can survive anything. We’re ballerinas.

The invincible. The impossible. The irreplaceable.

Wake up, babes. I won’t come back until you do. ”

“Cousins?” An unfamiliar voice asked, entering the hospital room.

I shook my head. “ Friends.”

With each passing day, I grew more confident in that classification.

Tiana was a friend to me. Her sudden, mysterious sickness and hospitalization was proof.

Her organs were failing. The thought of losing her felt impossible to grasp.

So, I remained hopeful that things would turn around.

My heart told me they would, so I was sticking to it.

“I’m her nurse. Kasey.”

I nodded, hardly interested in conversing.

“Hopefully it makes you feel a little better to know that she’s been improving. Her progress is slow and subject to regression, but it is progress. Progress is always a win on my charts,” she explained pushing fluids into the IV.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re a ballerina as well?”

“Yes. Dancing is how I met Tiana.”

“I heard she’s incredible on the floor.”

“Whoever told you– well, they didn’t lie. Not that day.”

“Yeah? Well, of course, our girl has to pull through.”

“She will. Just like I can’t break my promise to have her back, she can’t bre–”

“She won’t,” Kasey said, cutting me off.

“Prima Ballerina.”

“Hm?” Kasey asked, pushing more meds into the IV.

She was focused. She was careful. She was in her zone of comfort.

“Tiana’s promise. One day she’d be a Prima Ballerina. It’s a dream of hers.”

“And, do you share the same dream?”

“Yes and no. I’m not all that interested in titles. It’s my talent I’m fixated on. I want to be the best thing Clarke has ever witnessed on stage. If that results in Prima Ballerina then so be it. But, that’s not everything to me or for me.”

“I understand.”

“Kasey–”

“Yes…” She hesitated, realizing she never got my name.

“Rome.”

“Rome. What is it?”

“Your salary?”

“Excuse me?” She paused, finally finding me with her eyes.

“How much is it you make a year?”

Chuckling, she shrugged. “Pretty personal, huh?”

“How much?”

“Eh– it depends. Average, I’d say just under eighty-six.”

“Expect ninety in your account by midnight if you can do me a really big favor.”

“That’s an expensive favor,” she expressed, propping a hand on her hip. “But, I am all ears.”

“I’m not asking you to do anything out of order.”

“That’s a relief.” She chuckled, continuing toward the trashcan to toss the paper she’d pulled from the syringes she’d used.

“Have you drawn blood from Tiana since she came in?”

“Strangely, Tiana doesn’t have labs, which have been our biggest struggle. Her veins have turned to prunes. Shriveled. We struggled to get this IV in when she was admitted. We’ve been hoping it doesn’t blow. We’ve tried getting blood from it, but nothing comes from it.

“However, it feeds her meds through really well. If this one gives out on us, we’re going to have to poke this poor baby a hundred times before we can get a good stick.

Not even the ultrasound helped make our jobs easier.

We’ve been patiently waiting for a good stick to draw blood but we keep getting nothing.

Feeders… not suppliers. That’s all we’ve gotten so far. But, of course we’ll keep trying.”

“Try harder.”

“I–”

“And run every test known to man on her. When the blood work results come back from the lab, text this number with them.”

I grabbed a pen and paper from the top drawer of the small chest, just like the one in my hospital room. Slowly, I printed each number of my cell and then handed it to Kasey.

“And this number?” She held up the piece of paper.

“It belongs to me.”

“Alright, Ms. Rome. For a full year’s pay, you have yourself a deal. Re-enrolling in medical school has been on my to-do list. Where do I send the graduation invitation when I become an MD?”

“Nowhere. Just look for me. I’ll be there.”

“Say no more. I’ll be back shortly to try and get these labs taken care of.”

Kasey exited the room. It was likely I wouldn’t be here when she returned. I didn’t have much time on my hands. Still, I wasn’t quite ready to depart.

I leaned over and kissed Tiana’s cheek. Silently, I watched her resting. When the feelings overwhelmed me, I placed my head beside her and balled up on top of her covers, hoping my warmth encouraged her fight.